Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

I am researching spiritual abuse/perpetrator protecting within organised Christianity.

These links have given me a lot of food for thought.









I am every immature church persons…..nightmare….especially for the men.

I realise that my challenging of so much I see within churches, is a freakin’ nightmare for many.

Especially all those who have been brought up in churches – where as children they are forced to have blind obedience and submission and of course ‘women must keep quiet’.

I do see, I am very problematic to all these deceived people, stuck at a very immature level of faith – at stage 3, where most will remain all their lives, very evidently leading to these mind controlled, sheep like people, who don’t challenge, don’t question, just accept, believe what they are told, like docile sheep.


I see the fact that I challenge the mind controlled issues many have, is very unusual to them – and they will not like this and I won’t create many friends.

But, you know, my faith, is the most important part of my life and I don’t intend to compromise that – to make friends with deluded, deceived church people.

I am way beyond that and just because they can’t understand that – is not my issue – it is theirs and it is their sin, to not challenge themselves and their thinking.

I know a ‘woman’ challenging men in conservative, right wing churches – is such a huge issue to them!!! Poor darlings, I know their ego’s get hurt by that and it threatens their need to be dominant and be ‘the man’. Continue reading

‘Spare the rod, spoil the child’ – allegorical meaning, not literal.


I’ve always known this Bible verse was not meant in a literal meaning. I just knew. Jesus’ spirit.

I remember telling the pastor (who later abused me) when I first started church 5 years ago, that I believed what I had read that the rod – was meant for guiding and leading, not to hit.

He disagreed of course. He likes abuse and feels very entitled to abuse.


What is Christian Prosperity Teaching….



I watched Joyce Myer the other day on the TV.

She is very engaging, very charming, funny – you know as narcissistic trait types – who love the limelight, can be.

At the end of her show, as always – she has a big promotion of all the DVD’s you can buy – to end up just like her. When you go in any Christian bookstore – there is whole section for Joyce.

I’ve only read one of her books, a few years ago – I got to the part of her wealth and I thought – this is not right….and then I did not know about prosperity teaching, and the sin of this – I worked this out by myself.

But, anyway back to Joyce – yay – if I listen to Joyce, I will get rich – because God will love me more and provide wealth for me to live in luxury…..so I must quickly order those DVD’s…

Yes, I am being sarcastic…..but seriously – why do so many ‘buy’ into this crap???? Continue reading

Many Church’s Work Keeping Their Flock At Stage 3 = Cult?

This is not about developing disciples, this is about authority, ego, and narcissism.

Stage 3 – Synthetic, Conventional Stage

A person will normally move into the third of James Fowler’s Stages, the Synthetic, Conventional stage around puberty but apparently, many adults never move beyond it.

Here authority is located outside the self – in the church leaders, in the government, in the social group. Religious concepts are what Fowler calls “tacitly” held – the person is not fully conscious of having chosen to believe something. Thus the name “Synthetic” – beliefs are not the result of any type of analytical thought. Any attempts to reason with a person in this stage about his beliefs, any suggestion of demythologizing his beliefs is seen as a threat.

People like Mark Driscoll – promote these stage 3 – cookie cutter Christians, who are told they are sinning if they question. Plus many other cult-like issues that go on http://robertcargill.com/2012/01/24/how-much-more-evidence-do-you-need-mark-driscolls-mars-hill-church-is-a-cult/

James Fowlers Stages Of Faith

Stage 3 – where most Christians remain, all their life. Continue reading


God does not ‘give’ us anything bad, or ‘bring us to’ anything bad.

Anything that contradicts with pure love, pure goodness, is not of God.

I truly detest seeing those quotes that Christians use like;

‘If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it’ and

‘God gives you trials to make you stronger’.

This implies God ‘gives’ you hurt, gives you heartache, gives you abuse, gives you hardship.

Is that pure goodness? Is that love? Is that the character of God?

Is that what Jesus taught during His 3 years of teachings, of His ministry?

This to me, has always contradicted with this concept that God is pure love. That God is pure goodness.

This to me, is blasphemy – it is saying God’s character, is evil, is bad. It is not.

And that scares me, how many are blaspheming God’s Holy Spirit, because that is the unforgivable sin and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere near that.

Obviously most people just believe this wrong understanding of God – because it’s what they have been taught by teachers who don’t know God’s character either, or how to interpret the Bible correctly, don’t know theology. But, it is still not good, to say God’s character includes anything bad.

I don’t want my children to go through pain and suffering, but if they do, and they will – because that is life, then I will be there for them.

I believe this is also God’s character, only in a pure form.

Nothing bad, harmful or evil, can exist in a pure and loving God. Continue reading

God is PURE goodness and love. No evil exists in God.

I am re-blogging this, as it is probably the most important blog I have written.

And as today was my Baptism (which was incredible) – I feel a need to blog this again.

Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

Many people interpret the Bible wrongly.

They believe hell exists, where God will send those who don’t stand up to His expectations, and He will revenge them, and punish them, with eternal torment in hell.

Is that love?

It doesn’t sound like love to me.

I don’t believe people go to hell – as in a burning place of torment – I believe people have eternal death, and eternal separation, as is their choice, to not believe in God, or be converted Christians, or do what is needed, for eternal life, here on earth, with God, when Jesus returns, and God re-creates His Kingdom of God.

Many people believe God sent Jesus, ‘just’ to die for our sins’, because all we deserve is hell.

So wrong.

God did not send a perfect sinless man, His only Son, to die ‘just’ for our sins.

People who believe that believe in ‘Mesus’…

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I see clearly how bad ‘Christianity’, encourages narcissism and poor mental health.

People who interpret the Bible wrongly, can end up being encouraged in narcissism – and that is not of God.

Authority driven, man is the head, women in submission, women silent in church, physical abuse/discipline to children, hand over your money, don’t dare challenge the ‘ministers’, don’t challenge our wrong church doctrine, ministers elevated above Jesus, cookie cutter Christians welcome only….

All heading down the path of egoism, narcissism, misogyny, and a feeding and breeding ground for abuse – spiritual, mental, emotional, psychological abuse.

Not at all Biblical, of course, any of this crap they believe – but they will conveniently be selective in Bible verses, shallow and wrong interpretation and use and abuse it.

I will be researching this more, as unhealthy personality types, mental health issues and abuse are far more common within Christianity than people realise and not many seem to have the guts and courage to say – this is wrong.

The affect of this on the world – is also very detrimental to God and that is truly not okay. Continue reading

Tithes & Offerings??

Having been at a cult, where – of course – tithes and offerings were considered of big importance….

I have asked and done a little research.

Abusive, money hungry ‘church’s will ask for tithes and will make it an issue.

And yet, it is not even Biblical in the New Testament.

Too many church’s and certain denominations – are money hungry.

Too many ministers are paid too much money – which of course they all then salary sacrifice for tax purposes and pay hardly any tax on either. Continue reading