Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


1 Comment

When I’m Struggling – People’s Views About Abusers Are A Huge Trigger & Can Be Too Painful ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

boundaries-do-not-cross

 

Something I have realised over the last 5 years of counselling and processing all the severe trauma I have endured…….. is other people’s views and opinions about abusers can beΒ too hard, too painful and too emotional for me to deal with, particularly when I am struggling.

People are not ‘bad’ people for having their own needed views – and I get people need to believe whatever gets them through. And everyone can choose their beliefs and that’s okay. And I believe that people’s different views are okay for each individual person.

But, some beliefs are far too triggering. They often cause more damage and I’ve realised I need strong boundaries.

When we are struggling, it’s necessary to have boundaries and I know I need to stay away from anything that will push me over the edge.

I’ve learned to have my own boundaries and stay away from reading anything on the internet and social media – that will likely provoke an emotional overwhelm and triggers of the past.

I believe in emotional boundaries – our own to take responsibility for what we expose ourselves to….. and to keep away from other people’s views that hurt.

I’ve learned I can manage my triggers when I am really struggling. Not perfectly – but I am much better at this now. Continue reading

Advertisements

It’s Necessary For Complex Trauma Survivors – To Understand They Do Not Need To Tolerate Any Form Of Abuse ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

1 Comment

DSC_2740-037


Leave a comment

A Therapist Is Kindly Sending Me Her Book On Boundaries ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries………. such a huge issue to so many complex trauma survivors and in particular child abuse survivors.

I cannot emphasise enough how important boundaries are. Both physical, but even more so – emotional boundaries.

My boundaries throughout my life, have been so poor, so soft and I had no awareness of this. Having been raised in a highly dysfunctional, unsafe childhood home, with highly abusive parents, I did not learn boundaries. I didn’t learn how to protect myself. I didn’t learn how to slowly build up trust in people.

I have done a lot of work on my boundaries, but still have further to go. Even recently, I let down my strong boundaries, and the person concerned took advantage and I got abused some more. But, I know my motivation for letting my boundaries down a little, and I know I was encouraged to do this. But, now I realise, I shouldn’t have. At all. I ignored my own intuition again. I won’t anymore.Β  Continue reading