Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


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So so sad for a 13 year old boy, who ended his life for 2 years of bullying, about being gay ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

Bullying is abuse, and it is never okay. I am so sick of hearing excuses for people who feel entitled to abuse others.

A boy who lives near me, ended his life, because he was abused every day in school for 2 years. It started in grade 5 and continued on until grade 7. Every day he was called names like faggot, gay boy and teased because he was feminine.

I know what it feels like, to be that age and be in so much pain, you desperately want it to end. Different type of abuse, but that overwhelming pain and suffering, is so terrible.

Being LGBTIQ does not make you a bad person.

But, being an abuser and getting enjoyment from abusing someone else, does make you a bad person.

I am SO SICK of hearing – “oh but the abuser must be in pain too”. For a start that is an assumption, and some abusers have not been abused themselves.

And…..

I DON’T CARE IF THEY ARE IN PAIN

– IT NEVER MAKES IT OKAY

TO ABUSE SOMEONE ELSE!!!!

I’ve been in horrendous pain. Abused horrifically and I have NEVER wanted to abuse someone.

BEING ABUSED DOES NOT

MAKE SOMEONE AN ABUSER.

It is BULLSHIT that being in pain ‘makes’ someone an abuser.

THEY CHOOSE to be an abuser.

They could also choose not to be.

A boy, is now dead. In fact, thousands of children and teenagers are ending their life every month around the world – due to abuse. His life is gone, ended. It ended before it really even started.

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This all comes down to a lack of empathy, a lack of conscience and a lack of shame, guilt and remorse. And society normalising this and encouraging it.

It’s all the traits of narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths.

And what do most people want to do………… fucking make excuses and make the abusers seem less heinous. Continue reading


Helped a child advocate raise awareness about parenting, EQ/IQ, the perils of modelling narcissism, selfishness & creating bullies

I am very happy to help educate others, to raise awareness about empathy, how EQ is more important than IQ, the perils of poor parenting – like Princess Parenting – creating entitled narcissistic children – who become toxic adults.

And how not all child bullies are bullied at home. Some are, but actually other forms of poor parenting create a lot of issues. Like telling children they are ‘special’, and not making them accountable for their actions. Raising entitled children, who are lacking in understanding the emotions and needs of others, and instead are selfish and self serving. It’s not good and is increasing everywhere.

The admin of this page – who reaches a lot of people about positive and gentle parenting, was so interested in narcissism and the opposite being empathy.

It was really good to help educate her and for her to then educate others.

She confirmed I had inspired her to create some memes and I gave her some ideas.

And all brought about by witnessing a child, intentionally, wilfully bully another child and smirking at seeing the child get told off. This led to conversation about the children being bullied and the reasons why this is occurring.

I am aware my messages fall upon deaf ears to many, but for those looking to educate themselves and to help educate others, my messages do help. Continue reading


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Enabling & making excuses…. is not love or compassion ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

People confuse their unhealthy enabling or making excuses for toxic people….. with love, or compassion.

It isn’t love, or compassion, to enable. Or to make excuses.

I see people online trolling, who like to suggest enabling, is okay. Often they are doing this, to provoke a reaction. Which is trolling in itself.

Like with any type of abusive person, they need to know their behaviour is not okay, people can be angry and annoyed, and they should face consequences.

If people are going to act like nasty bullies, then they should face being treated as that, and face the consequences.

These are choices, they make. They choose the behaviour, then they choose the consequences.

Enabling them, is not helping them. In fact, this cripples them and stops them facing any need to change and make healthier choices. Continue reading


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Many more people are contacting me about Simon Buckden

Since the last court hearing (22nd Feb 2106), where Buckden admitted guilt to lying about cancer & PTSD – but with the new excuse of Munchausens, many more people have contacted me.

Sadly, many people have been duped by him. He is a convincing liar. People have confided in me about the abuse and threats they have endured from him.

I’m glad the truth is now coming out. Especially as I have known for over 2 years, exactly what he is. I am hoping there will be no more victims. Continue reading


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My son is being bullied in school….at times like this, I desperately wish I had a wise mother for advice.

My son was hit several times by a bully in school this week, for defending a child being bullied. He did everything right and handled himself well.

Now it has been decided the boy will be suspended for 4 days next week. Due to this, the boy and his friends, have bullied my son relentlessly today, and threatened to ‘bash him up again’. My son and his friend who witnessed this again, reported it.

My son is really down, very quiet and there has been a few tears. He wanted a hug when I offered (at 12 he is ‘too old’ for hugs normally) and I know that means he is upset. He’s concerned this will continue on now.

Interestingly, all the bullies in the school have come from the junior school I pulled by son out of in grade 5 due to bullying and he was immediately happier and did so well at the second junior school, with no issues. The former one has a terrible reputation now of bullying, with quite a few people I know, pulling their children from there.

So these bullies in that junior school are now all bullying kids in the first year in high school.

I want to go there on Monday and calmly state I want this nipped in the bud, as I do not want my son subjected to ongoing threats and bullying – and remind the school they have a very strict behaviour management/bullying policy and I expect that to be adhered to.

But, my son doesn’t want me to go and see them, he thinks it would make it worse. He’s also angry at these boys, and I know to let him have his rightful emotions about this, I don’t believe in suppressing needed emotions. Just vent appropriately.  He has a right to be angry at being bullied, at being threatened, after already being punched 3 times.

What do I do, what do I do???…..Let him try to work this out, or go to the school anyway? My anxiety levels are really up right now. This will bother me now until I know either the bullying has stopped, or I have to go and see them. I maintain my composure in front on my children, but seeing them hurt, in tears, upset – pulls my heart apart inside me. Continue reading


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My son was punched 3 times, for standing up for someone being bullied.

My son came home from school with a swollen and bruised eye yesterday.

My son’s friend was being bullied verbally and my son told the bully to stop it, and the bully had a big rage attack and punched my son 3 times. My son didn’t react back and just went to the office and reported it, with his friends to validate what had occurred.

The school office people were nice to him, gave him ice for his eye and told him it was great self control to not react back. They asked him if he wanted to phone his parents and go home but he said he was okay and remained at school.

My children are not perfect by far, but they are learning empathy, self control, courage and how to stand up for people who are being bullied. I’ve explained he needs to also be careful, as this can happen, and bullies can get very nasty when someone has the guts to stand up to them. Told him I am proud of him and validated his self control, courage and his good heart.

I wonder what’s going on in that child’s life, for him to need to be a bully and have rage and be physically aggressive. No doubt there are issues there, probably at home. There will be a story there. I talked about that with my son too. Not to excuse what the child did in any way, but just to show not hating someone and realise that as wrong as the bullying is, there is a reason.

Abuse is never okay, never condonable and needs dealing with.

But, empathy and non hate is needed too. And I want to model that for my children.

I try to teach and model all forms of emotional intelligence.


Lack of empathy and so much narcissism…..all over Miley Cyrus’ Facebook page.

I just read a whole load of nasty comments and cyber bullying, on Miley Cyrus’ Facebook page and they disgust me.

People have such a lack of empathy for others and such a great need to bully. And some of these people consider themselves nice people. And yet their lack of emotional maturity, is staggeringly obvious to me. They have no idea how poor mental health it is – to be narcissistic and put others down – to raise up own ego.

In my 20’s, I had behaviours that resulted in me being called everything – slag, slut etc. And I agree they are unhealthy, and should not be encouraged as okay.

But, there were deeply rooted & profound psychological reasons for why I had no self worth, and allowed myself to be treated badly, wore certain clothing and participated in behaviours that were very risky, very unhealthy. And I had no-one around me, to model healthy behaviour, or encourage healthy behaviour.

People can say what they like about my life then, ‘shame’ me, call me a slag, slut, skank, whatever…..I am no longer ashamed of what I did.

We live in such a Shaming, and Bullying society.

Continue reading


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Narcissism, narcissism, I see it everywhere…shaming people for being ‘sensitive’, calling people names.

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Ouch – there is a whole heap of ‘labelling’ and ‘shaming’ right there.

Yes, I agree political correctness can go too far, but it is needed.

But there is nothing wrong with being sensitive.

Narcissists love to use this term and put others down for being ‘over-sensitive’. I’ve heard this all my life from my family and I see clearly with all my research how society embraces many aspects of narcissistic attitudes.

Empathy and considering other people’s needs, is not common.

All this poster is doing – is putting people down in a nasty, unnecessary way, to raise up own ego.

Calling people ‘pansies’ is bullying.

‘Humourising’ and ‘normalising’ bullying and covert narcissism, is a huge issue in society.

And that society…..is all narcissism.


I am researching spiritual abuse/perpetrator protecting within organised Christianity.

These links have given me a lot of food for thought.

http://www.marydemuth.com/perpetrators/

http://www.marydemuth.com/spiritual-abuse-10-ways-to-spot-it/

http://www.barnabasministry.com/recovery-uncovering.html

http://www.godswordtowomen.org/Grady.htm

http://enrichmentjournal.ag.org/200102/112_ministering_to_abused.cfm

 

 


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Simon Bucken – arrested on suspicion of 5 counts of fraud.

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http://www.yorkshireeveningpost.co.uk/news/latest-news/top-stories/leeds-soldier-simon-buckden-arrested-over-fraud-allegations-1-6808427?utm_medium=twitter&utm_source=dlvr.it

This is the man that bullied, harassed and stalked me and many others online. Fake accounts set up.

Hater Twitter account and hater Facebook page set up about me. Disgusting lies told about me.

Had his supporters call me names like ‘psycho’, lie about me.  All their messages about me on Twitter, causing me hurt and anxiety.

My motivation was only ever to warn and try to protect people, by exposing it all and in the process I went through a lot of crap, that I really didn’t need, as I am in the middle of all my own severe trauma processing.

But, I did it anyway, because I HATE seeing vulnerable people taken advantage of. Continue reading