Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


If we are willing to learn -experience is always the best teacher.

experience-most-brutal-of-teachers-c-s-lewis-daily-quotes-sayings-pictures

I am aware of my vast experiences of surviving very toxic, disordered, abusive people. And I always try to learn. About people. About myself. And I try to put that to good use, in sharing it with others, who relate.

We have to be willing to learn, to gain wisdom and knowledge, from the life experiences we have. It takes great courage and the capacity for honesty.

My life, will always be an ongoing learning process. Because, I know we are never done with needing to learn. Continue reading


I don’t understand people neeeding justice, to heal.

I’ve heard many victims of abuse saying they need justice to be brought against their abuser(s), to have healing.

I don’t understand this.

For me, the only reason why I believe abusers need to be dealt with appropriately, is to expose them, so those who need to know, know what they have done, and also to try to reduce the possibility of the abuser, abusing again.

I don’t need ‘justice’ to heal. Because to be quite frank, nothing that happens to them, takes away what they did to me, or takes away the deep core wounds, or my memories.

My motivation for bringing an abuser to justice, isn’t about me.

And I’m unsure as to whether this is the right way to think about this.

Or whether I just don’t care about myself enough, to believe justice needs to be brought about, for my needs, to know they had their consequences to what they did to me, because what they did to me, does need punishing.

There are some who will say the former and some the latter.

I just don’t feel the need for punishment for some kind of retribution. This is probably why I also don’t agree with vigilante groups, or offenders being targeted in prisons etc. Continue reading


1 Comment

I used to be a people person, but people ruined that for me.

I love humanity, but I don’t love society – that is another quote that resonates with me.

I care deeply about humanity, I hate sin and abuse, poverty and suffering.

I don’t want anyone to suffer. Not even the people who cause the suffering.

But, sadly my life has shown me way too often, that people can and will hurt you. And no, this is not my fault, because it was always their choice to make – to either abuse – or not abuse, to either hurt – or not hurt. Their choices to do wrong, cause harm, were not about anything I did, or didn’t do.

I refuse to allow victims blaming and I take full ownership of all I have done wrong in my life. I am committed to become a better person and not do wrong, not sin and I want to grow and develop. I listen to wise advice and I will change where I need to. Continue reading


5 Comments

I’ve always wanted to get tattoos, so considering it…:)

My husband is funny sometimes 🙂

He saw how happy I was, to accept something good about myself today and said “you always wanted to get a tattoo, please go get two, one for each side of your hand that says ‘published’ on one and ‘author’ on the other – as a daily reminder.”

He knows I like the tattoo’s my favourite singer/songwriter has – Lana Del Rey. So, I’ll add a pic of hers, to illustrate where he thinks mine should be.

He was so happy to see me happy and told me he is proud of me, as I have achieved more than many, who haven’t been through half of what I have.

It was nice to have his love and support, as he is not a man of many words.

Lana Del Rey tattoo’s.


2 Comments

I would like to read some of C S Lewis’ books.

A very wise man.

And not appearing to be a legalistic, rules obsessed right winger, who I avoid like to plague. Being more advanced as I am, than these often spiritually abusive immature right wing Christians.

I choose wisdom and compassion.