Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


How People Deal With Screwing Up, Matters ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

a good apology

 

People screw up. Some more than others, but to me it’s they deal with what they’ve done wrong that matters…

Do they own their wrongdoing.

Do they apologise.

Do they mean it.

Do they have remorse.

Do they try to put it right.

All of these indicate someone’s true character and whether they are decent people.

It’s always one of life’s biggest tests. How they deal with screwing up. And sadly in my lifetime, all I’ve ever seen is selfish people denying, rationalising, making excuses, gas-lighting, invalidating etc. All typical behaviours of weak, narcissistic, selfish people. Continue reading


No, Not All Abusers Hate Themselves. Many Are In Fact Character Disturbed ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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For information on Dr George Simon’s expertise in toxic people, see his Website @

https://www.drgeorgesimon.com/about/

It may feel easier to believe overgeneralisations, but that does not mean you are dealing with reality.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario


I Intrinsically Learned – What Is Toxic Thinking & Behaviour, Really Young ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

I was having a conversation earlier, with my husband about my counselling appointment. This conversation led me to one of those big realisation moments, when previously confusing issues, become very clear.

I sadly, learned a lot about toxic people and the way they think. And I think this subconsciously taught what unhealthy, toxic thinking is and I intrinsically knew this was wrong.

An example……….. the psychopath who went to prison after several years of horrifically abusing me, had huge issues with revenge. And he believed that admitting to anything you do that’s wrong – was weakness. This is typical psychopath behaviour and I learned just how evil and heinous he could be. One phrase he repeated many times was ‘never admit you are wrong’. And he loved his revenge fantasies.

This will show the type of character I have, that comes naturally……… I did not spent even 1 second wondering whether he was being treated badly in prison or enjoying any thoughts of him getting his ‘karma’. Or hoping he was treated badly – so he could get some of ‘what he deserved’. I don’t think that way. Ever.

I haven’t had any trauma induced bad dreams about anything about revenge/ retribution/ karma. I don’t think about that when I’m awake. I don’t think about that when I’m asleep. And I don’t think those things subconsciously.

I have always known on an intrinsic core level

– they are wrong and they do not feature

in mind, heart or my soul.  

So, interestingly, the psychopath had huge revenge fantasies and exacted revenge on some people – yet I had absolutely zero revenge/karma fantasies about him – despite all the evil and heinous abuse I endured.

His issues with refusing to admit when wrong, and justifying that to himself as not being weak, is also something I knew was wrong. And I could not vocalise that at the time. I can and do admit when wrong, and always have done. I know that is a virtuous character trait, and it requires honesty, strength, decency and courage – that clearly the psychopath had none of.

In fact, not one single person who has abused me, has had the courage or decency to own it, admit it, apologise, have genuine remorse, or try to put it right. None of them.

Yet, despite enduring 45 years of that abuse……. I am completely different to them.

Being racist is one that I knew as a teenager was wrong. My step father was racist and it really bothered me. I think seeing that he was a heinous person…. and white, educated, heterosexual etc….. yet was a vile man who was part of a sex offender/paedophile gang. It subconsciously taught me a lot about not judging someone by their race, ethnic background, colour of their skin, sexual orientation etc.

I learned young that it is how people treat others – that defines their character. And my step father failed in every way. His racism was one of many things I knew made him toxic, and a hypocrite.

I know the first 20 years of my life, certainly opened my eyes to so much toxic thinking. And I knew it was wrong. And I have none of that thinking myself. And when others do have thinking now, that is similar to the thinking of all the toxic people in my life……… it flags as wrong and a big red flag.

I am glad to be someone, who chose to see all this

toxicity – as wrong and learned in my core being,

that this was not behaviour

I would ever consider as okay.

Continue reading


Why Being Authentic Really Matters ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

I have the skill of working people out – as to them being authentic, or fake, and whether they are manipulative and exploitative. All due to a lifetime of ‘wolves in sheep’s clothing’. A lifetime of surviving and dealing with toxic people. It has created a skillset beyond the norm, which I required from a young age, to survive.

Red flags occur all the time in my life. My personal life, and on social media. I will come to know someone is not authentic (including on social media) and this has been proven correct and accurate, so many times. I will detect a fake, quicker than most people. Even quicker than many who know about toxic people.

One of things I truly hate in humanity – is the ease of which so many people will manipulate others, through lies and deceit, and exploit people in the process.

I see this within the pseudoscience world…. so many con artists peddling lies, to exploit people for money. And exploiting people’s insecurities and worries about health and the health of their children.

authentic 2

So many people out there, are exploiting people with alternative health, that has zero evidence of efficacy and dangerous stupidity is being encouraged. Anti-vaxxers are huge perpetrators of spreading lies. They work on promoting fear and a belief in conspiracy, that is now leading to formerly eradicated diseases coming back and the death of children as a result. There is no evidence that vaccinations are dangerous, or cause autism or any other issues. But, there are many people promoting this conspiracy theories about Big Pharma and they are delusional.

And anti-vaxxers are just one area of dangerous and delusional thinking, that is negatively impacting society. Another example is pyramid/MLM schemes that promote lies and deceit. One company I became aware of who engage in this is DoTERRA Essential Oils, who have been slammed by the FDA for insinuating oils can cure cancer, Ebola and autism. And they have a deceitful marketing scam in place, which is complete lies – that their oils are ‘therapeutic grade’. There is no such thing. The only ‘essential’ part of essential oils, is believing their lies. That is essential to them successfully conning you. When I found out this company are based completely on lies and exploitation, I realised just how deep the levels of con artistry exist within the pseudoscience world.

This from Dr George Simon – is insight into the minds of pseudoscience promoters….. who do not want to submit to the greater knowledge, research and understanding of scientists and experts in the field….

“To have character integrity you have to not only be genuine but also principled. Moreover, to be properly principled you have to both respect and be willing to subordinate yourself to some “higher power” or authority. Ultimately, the mark of the disturbed character is their deficient or absent recognition of and submission to a higher power.

The manipulative personality is a particular breed of character. Most folks manipulate to some degree. But some folks “con” as a lifestyle. Such disturbed characters get the things they want from people through deception and trickery. They are who they are, which I suppose makes them “authentic” in one regard. But they’re not who they appear to be when they present themselves to you. So that makes them inherently dishonest – proverbial wolves in sheep’s clothing.”

~ Dr George Simon – Expert In Toxic People & Author of In Sheep’s Clothing. 

Source: https://www.drgeorgesimon.com/manipulative-characters-lack-authenticity/

You only have to look at the obvious BS being promoted by people like David Avacodo Wolfe – who is indeed a #WolfeInSheepsClothing. He peddles absolute BS and so many fall for it. It is a dire state that society is in, when he has over a million followers on Facebook alone, and so many choose to agree with his beliefs – such as ‘gravity is a toxin’, ‘chocolate is an octave of the sun’ and ‘the earth is flat’. I find it absolutely bizarre that people swallow that BS. But, I also suspect Wolfe knows he is peddling BS, and he is actually laughing at how much BS people will swallow. I think he really knows what he is doing, and a master con artist. Either that, or one of the most delusional people on the planet. And he is getting very rich – despite claiming that Big Pharma are only in it for the money. Does Wolfe supply his supplements and ‘natural’ products etc for free……….no of course he doesn’t.

And some people truly buy into the belief that believing lies and BS, makes you ‘open minded’. It helps them rationalise their irrational thinking. Their capacity for insight and critical thinking, does not exist.

Some people will claim all of this is harmless. But, it isn’t. The bigger picture is it’s dangerous and affects the health of people, and worse – is harming children.

It also encourages delusional thinking – because any thinking that is based upon lies, with no evidence to prove it’s efficacy – is delusional. Continue reading


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From a girl, to a (wiser) woman.

a woman

 

I’ve gone through these stages. Which are common in women who have been sexually abused as children.

Now, I am very much at the point of knowing my physical shell, is nothing more than that. My value is not determined, by my outer shell, or sexuality. I no longer need validation from others.

What is important to me now, is character, integrity, values, inner strength, virtues and heart/soul. Continue reading