Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


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Crying – listening to a neighbour whack her emotionally distraught young child ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

I look forward to the day they make hitting children illegal. Hitting your child is domestic violence. I am glad to see countries making it illegal – as France recently has.

One of my neighbours, was just whacking her child (again) – and I could hear the sound of the hits. Her already distraught child’s crying & sobbing – getting louder with every hit. He was literally screaming in the end.

I sat sobbing listening to it. I desperately wanted to go over there and take the child away from her. Give the child a huge hug and show him some much needed empathy and compassion.

I don’t care whether I am unpopular or not – I will say it – hitting your child is domestic violence.

I don’t care whether people want to label me ‘judgemental’. Yes – I am judging and discerning that hitting a child is not necessary for good parenting, and if you hurt your child by hitting them – then you are a child abuser.

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If that mother was being hit by her partner – she could phone the police and get him arrested for assault and domestic violence. Yet, doing that to her child is ‘legal’. If I phone the police about a child getting hit, they will probably do nothing.

It’s disgusting.

How any parent can say they love their child – and then hurt them to the point they are sobbing and screaming – is disgusting. That is NOT love.   Continue reading


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I’ve always related to living, fighting & surviving a war ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

You don’t have to have been in combat

– to have been fighting a war.

The first 20 years of my life were all about survival.

The war of severe child abuse.

The war of surviving child sexual abuse.

The war of emotional, psychological,

mental, verbal and physical abuse.

The war of surviving a psychopath

– who had killed a previous girlfriend.

The war of absolute captivity abuse.

As a child.

As a teenager.

Fighting to stay safe.

Fighting danger all around me.

Every day.

I know now, why I have always been so emotional Continue reading


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This would be my preferred book title. But I won’t use it.

‘In The Land Of Gods And Monsters – I Was An Angel – Living In The Garden Of Evil’.

But, it is one of Lana Del Rey’s songs, and I wouldn’t try to use it due to integrity to not disrespect Lana and to not infringe copyright.

But, it is a very fitting book title.

And as she says “No-one’s gonna take my soul away”.


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Two posts about abusers & abuse, honesty & courage ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

Two posts I wrote today on my Lilly Hope Lucario Facebook page @

https://www.facebook.com/LillyHopeLucario


Just because there are some people who are unable to cope with the fact they were intentionally abused by someone who did not love them….
Does not give them the right to push their self serving abuser excuser beliefs, onto those of us who do deal with the truth.

Understanding the truth about abusers and the intentional motivation, along with knowing the abuser’s unwillingness to have remorse, empathy or reagrd for human suffering……
Does not make us someone lacking in compassion.

It makes us people with the capacity and courage for truth.

And I do have appropriate compassion for abusers – because I don’t wish them anything inappropriate. I don’t wish them ‘bad karma’, or any form of pay back.

But, I do understand the necessity for them to face the consequences of their chosen actions. Including legal action, contacting the police, jail time if necessary.

People who have beliefs that make excuses, enable, minimize etc – are not dealing with truth, reality and have no empathy for the victims.

In fact, they have no empathy for the abuser. Because making excuses and enabling an abuser – is not in the abusers best interests either.

So when people deem people like myself as ‘lacking in compassion’ for abusers – they are simply delusional. And greatly misled by their own self serving and self soothing needs.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario


I am so over seeing behaviours such as….. a lack of empathy, conscience, remorse, shame, guilt, a sense of entitlement, and a lack of regard for causing suffering to others…… classed as ‘mental illness’.

They are not about mental illness……….. they are being a shitty and abusive person.

They are all the character traits of narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths.

I’ve been abused by them all, and I know 100% they all knew what they were doing was wrong, they all caused abuse intentionally and they kept on doing it anyway.

Pretending or deluding self that ‘they can’t help it’ – is simply wrong.
Yes – they can help it, because they can all act differently around people.
They can all act ‘nicely’ when they are grooming potential prey, or are around people they want to impress.
They select the behaviours they want to have, around different types of people.
Showing they can indeed have self control.


There are too many ‘abuser excusers’ and flying monkeys in this world…….
Continue reading


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I realise now – my counsellor was selfishly ‘normalising’ evil all along.

When reflecting on conversations I have had with my ex-counsellor, I realise now, she was trying to normalise evil all along.

This blog has many times where I have written about her highly inappropriate attitudes. One of my most popular blog posts, is about her incapacity to show normal emotions, about sick, evil, heinous abusers like paedophile child rapists.

One conversation in particular stands out, where she tried to tell me another client had a paedophile father, and this sicko’s adult child – believed he loved her. And my counsellor tried to make this evil paedophile – seem normal – by telling me this other clients situation. She wanted me to believe the paedophiles and sex offenders in my life – were normal too.

How sick is that.

I know now, how incredibly inappropriate my counsellor was. She didn’t want to accept evil exits, or that people can simply be heinous, sick, evil, vile beings. She wanted to believe they were good people – who ‘sometimes did bad things’. Her words.

That’s how deluded she is. She is no better than paedophile priest enablers. No wonder she would never comment on all the paedophilia in the Catholic church. No wonder she would never agreed with me about the Royal Commission being necessary. She is no better than any of these other sick church people who enabled paedophiles.

No doubt she believes paedophile priests are good people too – who ‘sometimes do bad things’. In fact, she probably believes the child victims, were in fact the evil ones – ‘tempting these adults’. That’s what many sick church people choose to believe. The children were the evil ones – tempting the poor adult victims into sexually abusing them.

I realise now why despite her making it clear my mother is a child sex offender and her referring to my childhood situation as being ‘your mother sold you to paedophiles/sex offenders’ – she still tried to normalise my mother and make me feel sorry for her.

I now know, my counsellors only goal was to make the perpetrators of heinous, intentional, sick abuse – seem normal and blame the victims for the abuse.

She used the minimizing and trivialising of evil tactic, and made me feel like I was not ‘good enough’ if I didn’t feel sorry for them.

And I know why she did this. It was all completely selfish, self serving reasons. She provides counselling for these sick, evil, heinous ‘people’. And it’s easier to sit with evil and talk to it, when you minimize their evil, when you minimize and trivialise their sick needs, when you minimize the life impacting and terrible consequences of child sexual abuse and in some way blame the victims.

I’ve said it before and I absolutely know this is right…… you cannot be a counsellor for perpetrators and victims of abuse. And my ex counsellor is Continue reading


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Sadly, I think too many ‘therapists’ enjoy shaming abuse survivors ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

I just witnessed interactions between a ‘therapist’ who claims to be a sexual abuse survivor – and another survivor on Twitter. The lack of empathy shown by the therapist was so harmful and I know this woman should not be a therapist.

I think too many therapists are unhealed abuse survivors, who are still in denial of their own issues, yet are deluded to believe they can counsel other survivors.

I think some of them also have narcissistic issues, that show in their lack of empathy.

I think some like to stroke their egos and lord it over other survivors as to how ‘freakin amazing’ the therapist believes she/he is. Which is again is more narcissism.

Too many therapists shame others. They use insensitive language and they truly don’t care how that is harmful. When questioned they refuse to acknowledge this, and just default to the ‘I am right and you are wrong’ belief system.

I’ve come to realise more and more how vital it is for very vulnerable and fragile complex trauma survivors – to have a highly experienced, very empathic and very professional therapist.

And sadly, most do not. And for many reasons cannot access the quality of therapy needed.

For those who are re-traumatised by unprofessional and/or inadequately empathic/insightful therapists – they may never reach out again – as Pete Walker so eloquently and so empathically wrote about. Continue reading


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Amazing this blog has reached over 1.25 millions views!

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Considering Complex Trauma and Complex PTSD are such narrow fields of interest and are not widely known about topics – this blog being at over 1.25 million views – is amazing!

I don’t under-estimate the power of this blog and how is resonates with so many people.

I will take a moment to have some pride in what I have achieved over the last 4 years.

I have achieved a lot and helped many in the process.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario