Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


Feeling needy = triggers, anxiety & fear.

I do not feel comfortable feeling needy, or reliant on any person. I’ve been independent since the age of 20, right through to age 40. Since, my ‘breakdown/breakthrough’ – I’ve ‘had’ to rely on others. It’s not a place I want to be in.

I’m still not okay with dependence on anyone. And I’m not okay with feeling needy. I know I am and know this is why I struggle with my counselling relationship. I hate feeling needy. I hate having this ongoing fear, that for some reason – the counselling will end. Every time I hear of another survivor going through the grieving of counselling ending, it triggers absolute fear and anxiety.

I dream about these issues. That’s how deeply embedded into my subconscious, these issues are.

I know I have issues with attachment. I know that when you did not form healthy attachments with caregivers in childhood, and you are instead abused by caregivers, the attachments become different, to those who have healthy caregivers.

I have enough self compassion and self insight, to know what is occurring and why. How would a childhood complex trauma survivor know how to form healthy attachments, when never modelled that? These issues don’t just end, when we reach adulthood. they continue on. Affecting every area of our lives.

I know Complex PTSD, is seen by many in the trauma field, as an attachment disorder. I see why and it makes sense. I know Pete Walker, refers to this in his insightful work and book. Continue reading


Added a section about boundaries, to my Website.

I added a section to my website about personal boundaries, because I know how vital they are… to healing and general wellbeing.

I am so aware how child abuse survivors, do not learn healthy boundaries. If they are not modelled in childhood, how does a child learn them.

This lack of healthy boundaries, leads to further issues in adulthood.

Read @ http://www.healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.com/#!developing-boundaries-/cakt Continue reading

I believe boys should play with dolls.

I see many inappropriate attitudes, about boys not playing with dolls…. And how dolls are only for girls to play with. Hence why the doll aisles in toy shops, are predominantly pink. *sigh.

What are they scared of??? That their son will turn into a  ………. good father?

Maybe if there more boys being encouraged to be caring and gentle when they are children, it would better impact who they become when they are adults.

I don’t believe in gender specific toys/playing. I believe in gender neutral toys/playing.

I think the world might be a nicer place, if everyone thought like this too. And I am aware many child psychology & development experts, encourage the same thinking I have.

It makes perfect sense to me, and I believe it would lead to less abuse and less domestic violence.

It is such a bad start to a male child’s life, to be shamed for their natural desire for, and wanting to play with dolls. Continue reading