Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


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A system geared to protecting child sex offenders, and not to protecting children

I read this today – a man who has been charged with 79 counts of child sexual abuse, including rape, assault and making child exploitation material.

http://mypolice.qld.gov.au/blog/2017/01/19/geebung-man-charged-79-offences-rape-making-child-exploitation-material/

These are just the offences the police were able to have enough evidence of, to make arrests. There will far more offences.

This man deserves to be in prison for the rest of his life.

He won’t receive that sentence. He will likely do little prison time, and be made to complete one of the ‘sex offender’ program, that have very poor success rates – in rehabilitating paedophiles.

The legal system is geared towards protecting paedophiles and their ‘human rights’.

The system fails to protect children, from this most heinous abuse.

Paedophiles often get a slap on the wrist as a legal consequence of what they do. And they are let back out into the community – knowing they will re-offend.

Paedophiles rights, are clearly the priority.

To me, they lost any rights, the second they made a choice to sexually abuse a child.

They lost their rights to freedom, the second they caused heinous life long harm – to innocent children.

They lost all rights, the second they stole a child’s innocence from them.

But, the system, the do-gooders, the enablers…. don’t see it that way.

Because the rights of adults, are always considered of far greater importance, than the rights of children.

This is clear within the system dealing with child sex offenders, and is even very evident when considering the rights adults have to hit their children – which is physical abuse.

Animals have more rights, than children.

And no-where is this more deplorable, than in the way children are failed by the legal system dealing with child sex offenders. Continue reading


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No ‘mother’, ever wants her child to be sexually abused

I just read a horrific story, of a woman who pimped out her mentally disabled daughters to be sexually abused, for money to buy drugs and feed her drug habit.

I don’t care what the reason, any mother who allows her children to be sexually abused, is sick and a monster. And they deserve to be locked up and never let out.

There are woman, who choose to want their children sexually abused, for no other reason, than they want them abused. I know this, because I am one of them.

I think if my mother had a drug habit, I could understand a little more. Although this is still never an excuse.

But, when there is no known reason, other than a choice and desire to want and know their daughter is being abused …..in this most abhorrent way  ….. it hurts. Really hurts.

These women who allow their children to be sexually abused…….. are child sex offenders themselves.

They are as guilty, as the men who are allowed to sexually abuse the child.

I know this is a part of my trauma history, I will never recover from.

I don’t even talk about how this makes me feel in counselling. Because I know I am expected to have some level of compassion for my mother. I’m expected to rationalise why she did it. Pretend she was possibly abused herself. Find some reason why she did it, to make me feel better. And then make my counsellor feel better.

There are no reasons, that make me feel better.

There are no excuses.

And I’m not going to make them up, just to appease others, who wish to make excuses Continue reading


It will be a case of ‘three stikes and you’re out’.

As I have blogged many times, I don’t trust church people to deal with sex offenders, paedophiles appropriately. The church as a whole, has very dire history, of dealing with predators, inappropriately. And it still continues.

My view, is sex offenders, rapists, child sexual abuse perpetrators, paedophiles, should not be allowed into churches. Or any place where there are children, who can be targeted by predators, who often have little impulse control and are often opportunistic.

My view, is one not agreed with by many church people. Ridiculous attitudes like ‘we are all sinners’, ‘we are all broken people’, ‘we need to show them grace and mercy’, ‘he says he’s remorseful and won’t do it again’, ‘he’s forgiven by God’ etc…. are ways in which predators know they will be welcomed, protected, and as a result enabled, to act out their sick, dark needs. And they use this to their full advantage.

Why wouldn’t predators use churches for their full advantage, when they know it a is place where they are very likely to be able to have easy access, to children and if caught, not dealt with appropriately, and instead enabled?

Church, is not meant to be a

safe haven for predators,

to be protected and enabled.

And any church person who believes it should be, shows toxic, unhealthy and dangerous beliefs and potentially, is an abuser themselves.

Church people all to often, don’t learn by previous mistakes. Sure, they half heartedly say they have adopted ‘child protection protocols’, but I’ve seen attitudes to this and often it is because they ‘have to’, not because they ‘want to’.

I’ve seen attitudes, where they do not believe ‘child safety checks’ should ‘have’ to be conducted for all involved in child ministries. I’ve seen attitudes, where they say they will not contact the police (despite the law stating they must), if a child says they have been abused in some way. They want to continue dealing with it in-house, no police, kept hush hush, kept a secret and basically the abuser protected, enabled and free to continue abusing children.

I do not believe for a second, this is what Jesus wants. Children sexually abused, and paedophiles protected? And shame and blame the victims? That is not the attitude of the Jesus, I know.

I also know that anyone,

who knowingly takes their children,

to places where predators are welcomed,

then they are failing as parents,

and SHAME ON THEM.

These unwise and dangerous attitudes regarding abuse and abusers, are why Continue reading


Praise God – for more real Christians, writing about child abuse, victim blaming/shaming & shame shifting.

I am always so relieved and thankful when I see Christians, writing the truth…. about the continual victim blaming, victim shaming and shame shifting, that goes on in way too many churches.

Praise God, for the truth coming into the light!

I could have written this part myself. Exactly the same understanding, I have.

“The adult claims the child wanted it—or the child deserved it—or the child masterminded it—or the child needed it—or the child was sinful. Abusers constantly are trying to shift blame for abuse onto the victims they abused.

And society in general is more than willing to give abusers the benefit of the doubt. After all, we live in patriarchal times and men are the most common abusers. So we justify the abuse, or we excuse it, or we come up with reasons for why it was not the abuser’s fault, or we decide it was a mutual decision.

Then we repeat these stories and justifications and excuses and rationales over and over again, until even a self-contradictory biblical narrative is interpreted by churches and Christians in favor of the abuser for centuries.”

The Lot of the Abused: How We Shift the Blame Onto Victims

 

 

 


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Stephen Fry reveals who he truly is. Abusive hypocrite

I am beyond annoyed at this abusive, bullying, narcissistic BS that has come out of Stephen Fry’s mouth. What a hypocrite. I am also not surprised.

His attitude, is the ultimate in ‘shame-shifting’. His thoughts are that of a highly disordered, abusive, toxic man.

http://www.news.com.au/entertainment/celebrity-life/celebrities-gone-bad/stephen-fry-says-child-sex-abuse-survivors-should-grow-up/news-story/95375f1ae56eb3e8dc6cbebbbde7152e

I knew prior to this interview, he is an unhealthy man, who minimizes child sexual abuse and I have wondered why. If he chooses to minimize child sexual abuse and trivialise it, that is bad enough. Now, I wonder why else he has such disgusting opinions?

I hope MIND do the right thing and get rid of him – because he should absolutely not be an advocate for mental health or abuse survivors.

I wonder what he would have thought about someone telling him to ‘grow up’, ‘self pity is disgusting’ and stop being ‘infantile’ – when he was actively trying to end his life? Or when he was being bullied for being gay?

Such a lack of empathy.

Continue reading


The Catholic Church Secret Archive Of Paedophile Crime.

http://www.brisbanetimes.com.au/national/secret-archive-of-paedophile-crime-kept-by-catholic-churchs-insurers-20160317-gnlc6k.html

This paragraph says it all about the highly inappropriate, and highly ineffective manner in which child sexual abuse – by paedophile priests, is dealt with. It shows how their in-house handling and in-house ‘counselling’, is pathetic.

Discussing responses to complaints about Ridsdale, the bishop describes the paedophile as “an extraordinarily talented fellow” and “an excellent pastor”. Bishop Mulkearns argues he was not responsible for Ridsdale going on to abuse more children because he had referred Ridsdale to a counsellor who then authorised him to return to duties.

This isn’t confined to the Catholic Church., either. It occurs across all denominations, as the Royal Commission, has exposed. Continue reading


Tears for the Morcombe family.

http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-03-11/brett-peter-cowan-high-court-dismisses-application-for-appeal/7239344

Daniel’s killer has been refused the application to appeal against his murder conviction. This piece of scum has no remorse, no conscience, no guilt, no shame. That’s how he still trying to get out of prison. He really believes he has the right to freedom. The right to do as he wants and no doubt harm more children, kill more children.

I am so glad they have dismissed his application to appeal.

I only wish they had kept him in prison, prior to him killing  Daniel. They knew he was not rehabilitated and could not be. Despite all the sex offender rehab’s he went through. His own psychiatrist knew he would harm another child. But, they let him out anyway and Daniel and his family were forever devastated by this decision.

I saw Denise on the news, and I could see and feel the pain in her eyes, her voice, her face. She talked about the relief she had now, but I could still feel the pain she was in. I cried. No mother or family, should ever have to endure any of this. No child should ever have to endure what Daniel endured.

The legal system is pathetic with regard to sex offenders, paedophiles and the like. They have more rights than victims and far too much leniency shown them. Continue reading


Pell and the minimizing wording used.

People minimize all the time. This is something I see everywhere. It’s how many people who lack courage – choose to view their own harmful behaviours.

But, it occurs all the more, with abusers. Particularly child sex abusers, child rapists, paedophiles and personality disordered people such as psychopaths, sociopaths, narcissists.

“He should have been shaking with grief on behalf of the children destroyed by the powerful men of his church.

Instead Pell called nests of paedophiles a ‘disastrous coincidence’ and described child rape as ‘misbehaving’. It’s just not good enough.”

http://www.kidspot.com.au/parenting/real-life/in-the-news/pell-wraps-up-testimony-without-ever-showing-he-cares?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=post&utm_campaign=editorial

This level of minimizing and invalidation, removing personal responsibility, lack of empathy, lack of remorse, lack of guilt/shame, no conscience…… are all the types of pathological behaviours of toxic and dangerous people. And paedophiles in particular are very skilled at this.

I get really angry at minimizing. And I’ve noticed just how common this is with church people. They are often very skilled at minimizing.

Child rape is not ‘misbehaving’.

Paedophile rings are not

‘a disastrous coincidence’.

There is absolutely no empathy, no compassion, or concern shown for all the children and their families, affected in such horrific ways by this man and his group of paedophile friends/colleagues.

This cool, detached way he has shown, is typical of that psychopathic capacity to detach from any emotions. And I absolutely believe Pell to be a psychopath, who is allegedly also a paedophile. Continue reading


So glad to see Pell & the Catholic Church being slammed.

I am so glad to see society react to the disgusting attitude shown at the Royal Commission by paedophile enabler/protector – Cardinal Pell.

http://www.msn.com/en-au/news/australia/%e2%80%98they-are-all-to-blame%e2%80%99-karl-stefanovic-slams-catholic-church%e2%80%99s-handling-of-child-sex-abuse-as-%e2%80%98pathetic%e2%80%99/ar-BBqdN9l?li=AAgfYrC&ocid=U206DHP

It is bizarre to me that anyone would consider these vile men, as Christians.

This is true psychopath behaviour and thinking…… no empathy, no remorse, no conscience, no guilt, no shame, no regard for human suffering. Allowing innocent people to be hurt, doing nothing to stop it, in fact encouraging it and protecting the paedophiles. And instructing lawyers to treat the victims really badly, as Pell had to admit, the last time he appeared at the Royal Commission.

The victims and their families, need and deserve public outrage. Continue reading


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Don’t insult my intelligence, about abusers.

I was at my ladies group this week and a local coffee place. At the next table to us, were a group of special needs adults and some carers. It was lovely seeing them and how they were being treated just like anyone else, and enjoying their drinks and food.

Some of the special needs adults, had behaviours that would not be considered normal. One kept making loud noises, one kept hugging the person he was next to, and some of the others were having non ordinary behaviours.

As I was watching them, I thought some of them are possibly intellectually impaired and just did not understand their behaviour were socially unacceptable and not ‘normal’. I realised these adults, could be capable of other behaviours they would not necessarily understand were wrong and possibly not understand the consequences of their behaviours.

Which also made me think about abusive people who do intentionally harm others, and they know exactly what they are doing. Like narcissists,      sociopaths,  psychopaths,  paedophiles,  sex offenders,  rapists etc.  Their ‘mental health/illness’ does NOT render them incapable of understanding whether their actions are wrong/harmful. They do know, they just don’t care. It’s why they are manipulative, sly, do things behind closed doors. It’s why they lie and deny. It’s absolutely intentional.

There is a big difference between someone who is genuinely incapable of knowing whether their actions are wrong, and someone who does know.

Someone who is intellectually impaired, and has development issues in many areas…. is very different to a manipulative, lying, devious, narcissist. Very different to a paedophile, or sex offender. Very different to a sociopath or psychopath.

And all of these highly abusive types of people are absolutely consciously choosing to hurt people, lie to people. They are not insane. They are 100% responsible and accountable for their intentional and deliberate actions that harm others.

Which is why it really pisses me off, when people say ‘oh they can’t help being a narcissist, or paedophile (etc) – it’s their mental illness’. Total bullshit.

And it pisses me off and insults my intelligence, to suggest they cannot help it.

It pisses me off when their abusive actions, are minimized and the victims invalidated as a result.

It pisses me off when people then demand victims see it  as ‘mental illness they cannot help’.

It is a huge insult to the victims of these highly abusive people.

It is huge insult to the victims, to deny these abusive people knew they were doing wrong. Continue reading