Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


Book Recommendation – Healing From Hidden Abuse ~ Shannon Thomas

shannon thomas book

A book I highly recommend, due to the amazing author – Shannon Thomas – LCSW.

Shannon has considerable insight into psychological abuse, from a professional and survivor point of view.

And it is always the survivors – who in my opinion – have the most insight into abuse and abusers.

This book also expresses the abuse found with churches and church people – something I am very aware of having endured.

Shannon is a Christian, as am I, so there is that added layer of spiritual abuse and religious abuse, I know is needed to be discussed far more.

I am really looking forward to reading it and giving a review.

This book is available for pre-order now and to buy late August on

Amazon @ https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Hidden-Abuse-Recovery-Psychological/dp/0997829087/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1470438802&sr=1-2

Continue reading


Tears for all those abused by ‘conversion therapy’.

crying2

Just when I think it can’t get any worse about spiritual/religious abuse….. I hear about conversion therapy. And cults, who use rape and torture, to ‘convert’ people.

This is evil at work. Sick, heinous, vile people, using God as their excuse for abusing people, in such sick, perverted ways.

As a brave courageous survivor, let me know what he endured, I cried. The level of suffering is beyond imaginable. I sobbed.

I have to write my second book. I have to get the first one finished and published, so I can write the second one.

I will include a section on cults and churches that really are cults.

And I will include a section on conversion therapy, as well as the abuse the LGBTIQ community endure from religious people.

I wish I could do more. I know I can’t. I know it’s not my responsibility to. But, Continue reading


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When the first interaction from a religious person…. is about forgiveness. *sigh.

Religious people, can be very tunnel visioned, very black and white and very lacking in empathy, or understanding about trauma. They also often feel very compelled and entitled, to shame you, for not being a ‘good enough Christian’…. by shaming you about forgiveness, grace etc.

I have come to realise, if the first interaction on social media with a religious person, is about forgiveness, I know I am dealing with someone unhealthy.

So, I utilise the block facility on Twitter. I don’t entertain unhealthy, dysfunctional religious people anymore.

You cannot reason, with people who choose not to have rational, empathic or reasonable thinking.

If shaming people about forgiveness, is your thing….. you are not welcome in my life, in any way. You are not going to make my followers feel shamed, by toxic religious and spiritual abuse. Continue reading


Praise God – for more real Christians, writing about child abuse, victim blaming/shaming & shame shifting.

I am always so relieved and thankful when I see Christians, writing the truth…. about the continual victim blaming, victim shaming and shame shifting, that goes on in way too many churches.

Praise God, for the truth coming into the light!

I could have written this part myself. Exactly the same understanding, I have.

“The adult claims the child wanted it—or the child deserved it—or the child masterminded it—or the child needed it—or the child was sinful. Abusers constantly are trying to shift blame for abuse onto the victims they abused.

And society in general is more than willing to give abusers the benefit of the doubt. After all, we live in patriarchal times and men are the most common abusers. So we justify the abuse, or we excuse it, or we come up with reasons for why it was not the abuser’s fault, or we decide it was a mutual decision.

Then we repeat these stories and justifications and excuses and rationales over and over again, until even a self-contradictory biblical narrative is interpreted by churches and Christians in favor of the abuser for centuries.”

The Lot of the Abused: How We Shift the Blame Onto Victims

 

 

 


Sad how church people, cannot ‘hear’ another viewpoint.

I was following a very popular Anglican Church FB page.

The subject of gay marriage, the upcoming plebiscite (costing half a billion dollars), how the LGBTIQ community, are being harmed, was raised.

I posted my views, and of course, got jumped on and shot down. Immediately.

Church people, really can be the most disordered, black and white, harmful people of all.

I give up.

Churches, are for sheep, who follow Continue reading


So glad to see parents, who really love their children

I’m a Christian. One who also believes being gay, is not sin. So, I don’t fit in with most church people. But, I am totally okay with my Biblical understanding, empathy and awareness of how much shame, abuse and damage church people continually feel entitled to inflict.

gay parents

And for those who claim being gay in a sin……. ‘what if you are wrong?’.

What if your Biblical interpretation, and lack of knowing context, means you are wrong?

Then try to have some empathy, about how the LGBTIQ community feel, being told Continue reading


Cognitive Dissonance, I realise this is a huge society & Christianity issue.

Perfect example = spanking.

Masses of evidence to prove this is abuse, damaging to a child physically, mentally, emotionally, proof in psychology, in neuroscience and no evidence to support it as an appropriate discipline method.

Yet, many will say ‘well it was done to me and I’m okay’.

And Christians will cling to a few Bible verses, misinterpreted, or literally interpreted – when they weren’t meant to be, and keep on abusing their children. Selective Bible verse abuse of sociopathic/narcissistic church attenders.

Following a conversation with a Christian mental health professional, who agreed that 90% of people – Christians included, need therapy, I would also say 90% of people have cognitive distortions, like cognitive dissonance.

Although for many who are such big fans of spanking and taking belts to children/teenagers, there will also be other mental health factors, like sociopath traits, narcissism etc. They ‘like’ using harsh physical discipline and have no empathy. And they will all keep fooling themselves and enable each other and sucking others into the evil of child abuse.


Yes, we are free to choose, we have free will, but….

Everyone talks about how they have a ‘right’, or they are entitled to their ‘opinion’….but how often do people own the full responsibilities of their actions?

I am about to have further legal advice, from a quality law firm, about the actions/abuse of an abusive pastor, and dealing with legal consequences to his actions, that are available. And I have support, in this.

People make mistakes, people mess up, but ‘how’ you deal with it, is important, not just for yourself, but to those harmed and to all those who are around you, especially if in a position of influence.

Lying, is abuse. It is emotional abuse. Continue reading


Having support, still feels weird. Good, but weird.

So good to have support from my doctor and others, about my intentions to do more about the abusive, narc pastor and her understand my reasons, which are very genuine and appropriate reasons.

And I will do whatever I can legally, which I am finding out more about and I will pursue whatever is legally open to me. I know my heart reasons and I know my faith reasons for this. Wolves in sheep’s clothing should not be pastors. And I don’t want more people hurt by this lying, narcissistic, self serving, wolf. And, I do not care in the slightest what anyone at the church he pastors at thinks about this. I am aware they will wrongly assume all sort of crap. They can go ahead.

My spiritual understanding, my understanding of God, my understanding of Jesus and who He is and my spiritual integrity, is greater than all of them combined. If they choose apathy, If they choose cheap grace, if they choose their needs to remain in their inner circles, if they choose to worship their church and leaders instead of God, if they choose being a narcissist’s apaths – that is their issues. And the shame and all their sin, is theirs too.

Apathy, will never be something I condone.

Using God/Jesus to hurt others, rightly offends my soul greatly.

Support is always needed though and I have this from several people.

Thank you God. I wouldn’t be who I am, without You.


3 Comments

Nothing offends me more, than vulnerable people targeted for abuse, in the name of God.

I will never be apathetic about this.

Never.

I don’t care what people think of me, about this either.

Jesus was not apathetic about abuse, or God being used as the excuse, and He got angry.

He is my role model, no-one else.

I am a Christian, wanting to be more like Jesus, not trying to be more like ‘Christians’ – who are mostly just church people.

APATHY IS EVIL.

I know that, but sadly most church people don’t.

If church people want to be apathetic, well that’s their sin and shame to deal with, not mine.

And they can harp about grace, their cheap grace all they like, cheap grace is sin too. Cheap grace is for non Christians. For people who have no spiritual integrity.