Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


Poem – The Abuser’s Lies

Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

Truth
Your
Weakness
Shamefully
Denies
No courage
For honesty
Within
Your walls
Of lies

Scared
To reveal
Your real
Inner self
Scared
To show
Your lack
Of self
Worth

Keep twisting
Reality
To yourself
And all
But you and I
Know
What really
Occurred

You know
The damage
And pain
Your abuse
Incurred
The hurt
And betrayal
My soul
Is scarred

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Poem – I Don’t Need To Be Your Average

IMG_9946mod-L-001

Acceptance
Of reality
Differences
Of a life
Not common
In my society

Painful history
Unusual
Decades
Suffering
Severe pain
So many
Abusers
Evil

Cumulating
In differences
Strengths
Weaknesses
No-one relates
To me, and
I don’t relate
To average society
Or average Christianity

Counsellor’s belief
“You are a
Walking miracle”
Doctor’s belief
“Learning is deep
Precious
But healing
Not complete” Continue reading


3 Comments

Poem – Christianity & Child Abuse – What You Really Are

Christianity
You abuse children
Physical abuse
In the name of God
You say it’s God’s will
For me to belt you
You say it is God’s will
For me to whip you
You say it is God’s will
To take a paddle to you
What you are
Is child abusers

Christianity
You fail children
Child sexual abuse
From many adults
You ignore it
In the name of God
You condone it
In the name of God
You enable it
In the name of God
What you are
Is child abusers

Christianity
You fail children
You don’t protect them
You abuse them
Ignore them
Traumatise them
Hurt them
Make them suffer
Keep it a secret
In the name of God
What you are
Is child abusers

Christianity
You re-traumatise
These victims
With forced forgiveness
Forced compassion
For evil people
Who commit
Evil acts
That you condone
Make them question God
And often turn from God
What you are
Is abusers Continue reading


11 Comments

Poem – Real Daily Suffering of Forgotten People

A poem in response to some research on the desperate poverty and ill health, homelessness women and children, of Nepal and many other countries, living in such desperate circumstances.

I can only imagine the mental health and physical health issues, they will be dealing with daily.

BillyScanlan photography

Ragged abused street children
Poor abused women, ignored
By all the rich tourists
Spending their money
On their pleasures
Closing eyes, hearts
To deep pain in the faces
Of so many

Some good hearts
Volunteer, help
These desperate people

Devastating poverty
Homelessness
Hunger
Starving
Scavenging
Begging
Suffering etched
Into their beautiful faces

Not how
Any human, any child
Should live in 2014

Rich people worldwide
Ignoring this
Living in luxury
Complaining
Whinging
They need more
Entitlement rich
Empathy, compassion poor Continue reading


2 Comments

A Poem For Those Abused Within Christianity. ‘Dear Victims – My Heart Is For You’

This poem is in response to the Royal Commission and all the masses of abuse – which will only be a fraction of what has actually occurred throughout Christianity.

I am deeply upset and deeply grieve the lack of compassion and lack of speaking up by Christians, who are far more intent on reputation, monetary concerns and applying ‘cheap grace’, than protecting children and women.

Dear Victims – My Heart Is For You

Grieves my deeply sad heart
Many children and women
Not protected, or guarded
By those who should

Sex offenders rights
Society’s priority
Christianity worse
Cheap grace their excuse

I fear this world
Where sin and evil
Can sink within
Even many good people

Satan sure knows how
To manipulate many
His black evilness
Seducing so easily

I hate a world
Protecting those who harm
More than knowing the need
To protect the vulnerable

I hate evil
I hate sin
I hate abuse
I hate lack of wisdom

I move further from
Organised Christianity
I trust them not
And fear them greatly Continue reading


2013 – The Best of Times, The Worst Of Times

2013,
Began with sadness
Two beautiful souls
Their lives ending
Much grief
Felt by many

As past pain continues
Revealing of present betrayal
Then unfolds
People I love now
Their black hearts
God exposed

My heart, in more pain
Than my human capacity to cope
As weak, black hearts
Lied, denied
Protected their images
Deeply hurting
My already hurting, soul

Devastated to know
Seduction and grooming
I was the prey
Of narcissists
Again
My vulnerability
Used, abused
Again

But, evil did not win
God, His light prevailed
As He used
All the pain, lessons, hurt
Teaching me more
About human weakness
Sin, pride and Satan’s
Covert delights Continue reading


3 Comments

Poem – Society, I Will Not Wear A False Mask

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A life
Of pain
Suffering
Abuse
Betrayal
Secrets
Creates depth

Gifts
Of discipline
For honesty
For integrity
For courage
Grown deeply
Within her
To survive

Society
Scared
Of such honesty
Preferring
Not to know
Affects
Comfortable
Lives

Society
Not shocked
By lies and deceit
But shocked
By those
Honest
With courage
To be real Continue reading


3 Comments

Poem – Why God?

Why God?

Suffering
Trauma
Abuse
Agony
Slow death
Pain
Loss
Grief
Starving
Little children
Innocent
People

Ongoing
Occurring
Continually
All round
The world
Millions
And millions
Suffering
Horrendously

Why God?
Why create
What would be evil?
Why create
Free will?
When known
The suffering
The agony
The despair
It would cause Continue reading


6 Comments

Poem ‘She dances’ ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

Sad Ballet

Ballet, dancing – was my saving grace, while enduring child sexual abuse by an old man paedophile, for several years ending at approx age 12.

She Dances ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

Childhood
In her garden
Of evil

Of gods and monsters
Evil presides

No safety
No protection
No rescue

Scared
Frightened
Silenced

Deep pain
Seared into
Her fragile soul
Unable to cope
Verbally suppressed

She dances Continue reading


Poem, The Baptist Church

Baptist heresy, alive and kicking
In a Baptist cult, in your town
Learn doctrine, lies, church rules
Not theology, on that they frown

Continuing to preach heresy from their ‘stage’
UnBiblical views, they cannot prove
Don’t question them, or expose them
Or to another Church, you will need to move

‘Once saved, always saved’
‘You can continue to sin’, their key
The greatest lie they preach
Not based on any theology

‘You can do nothing to earn salvation’
‘You can do nothing either, to lose it’
This heresy always perpetuated
From false teacher stage, their pulpit Continue reading