It bothers me greatly, how too many churches and church people, are deluded to believe hurting children and ‘breaking their spirit’ – is love, or needed, or healthy, or Jesus like.
I’ve seen a toxic, unhealthy, spiritually abusive church in action. I was abused there, and know I am not alone in this.
The ‘in-house’ parenting courses, run by elders and authorised by the abusive ministers, encourage parents to hit their children, from being babies onwards….. increasing in harshness and pain level – to belting older children and teenagers.
Sadly, this is all too common in right wing, conservative type churches.
I discussed this at length today in counselling, after hearing of more abusive practises, that sadly don’t surprise me, but disgust me.
These toxic people, choose to starve their children for more than 24 hours, to ‘break their spirit’. It was confirmed in counselling, this is 100% child abuse. As is the belting and hitting children.
These abusive practises, also combine with women being subservient to their husbands. I’ve heard these people state beliefs, like a woman should always offer herself every day, for sex. Or she is failing as a wife. Women are encouraged not to work and to do all their husbands demand. They are required to ask permission to spend money and many other subservient attitudes.
Interestingly, these people, used the toxic resources of the now disgraced Mark Driscoll, who resigned before he was sacked…. for abuse, plagiarism, trolling social media under a fake name and more. His attitudes are abusive…. so this church I once attended, loved these abusive resources, promoted by an abusive pastor.
They also believe all those not Baptised, not following these abusive beliefs, are going to be thrown by God into a big pit of fire, to burn for eternity. More Bible verses, they choose not to know the real interpretation and context of.
God is not the abusive, narcissistic psychopath – they portray him as. But, they choose to see God as that…….. so they can act like narcissistic psychopaths, themselves.
It paints a very dark, gruesome picture of abuse, on many levels.
And I have had all of this confirmed as abuse, by other wise Christian people
My heart breaks for all the children affected by these toxic, abusive people. To know they are continually in fear and being harmed and told this is ‘love’ is horrendous. To know Continue reading →
I am always so relieved and thankful when I see Christians, writing the truth…. about the continual victim blaming, victim shaming and shame shifting, that goes on in way too many churches.
Praise God, for the truth coming into the light!
I could have written this part myself. Exactly the same understanding, I have.
“The adult claims the child wanted it—or the child deserved it—or the child masterminded it—or the child needed it—or the child was sinful. Abusers constantly are trying to shift blame for abuse onto the victims they abused.
And society in general is more than willing to give abusers the benefit of the doubt. After all, we live in patriarchal times and men are the most common abusers. So we justify the abuse, or we excuse it, or we come up with reasons for why it was not the abuser’s fault, or we decide it was a mutual decision.
Then we repeat these stories and justifications and excuses and rationales over and over again, until even a self-contradictory biblical narrative is interpreted by churches and Christians in favor of the abuser for centuries.”
I’m a Christian. One who also believes being gay, is not sin. So, I don’t fit in with most church people. But, I am totally okay with my Biblical understanding, empathy and awareness of how much shame, abuse and damage church people continually feel entitled to inflict.
And for those who claim being gay in a sin……. ‘what if you are wrong?’.
What if your Biblical interpretation, and lack of knowing context, means you are wrong?
Then try to have some empathy, about how the LGBTIQ community feel, being told Continue reading →
Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD 
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