Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


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Book Recommendation – Healing From Hidden Abuse ~ Shannon Thomas

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A book I highly recommend, due to the amazing author – Shannon Thomas – LCSW.

Shannon has considerable insight into psychological abuse, from a professional and survivor point of view.

And it is always the survivors – who in my opinion – have the most insight into abuse and abusers.

This book also expresses the abuse found with churches and church people – something I am very aware of having endured.

Shannon is a Christian, as am I, so there is that added layer of spiritual abuse and religious abuse, I know is needed to be discussed far more.

I am really looking forward to reading it and giving a review.

This book is available for pre-order now and to buy late August on

Amazon @ https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Hidden-Abuse-Recovery-Psychological/dp/0997829087/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1470438802&sr=1-2

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I need to work on my ‘approach’ with people…

I’m what some would say ‘a straight talker’. Verbally, I say things quite bluntly – how they are.

People often don’t respond to ‘blunt’. They need a softly softly approach. And that’s the verbal communication style, I need to learn.

I emailed my counsellor today, to let her know I realise the following phrase, whilst true, about church people’s lack of keeping children safe , enabling predators, and absolute lack of wisdom…. is not gonna get church people to listen…

“You think you are full of grace, mercy and compassion…… but really you are just full of shit”.

I did have a giggle to myself. Because I can see how many church people would react to that!

When I know I need to work on something….. I do.

But, after a really shit weekend, it was good to have a giggle.

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When not ‘fitting in’, is a really wise place to be.

The church as a whole, has a long history of acting abusively, inappropriately, lying, being devious, dealing with issues in house and failing to protect children. I’m not ignoring this, like so many choose.

I’ve come to realise today…….. I cannot and should not, put my trust in an institution with this background, knowing these issues continue on and so many church people make excuses and justify, rationalize and basically are very unsafe and dangerous people to be around.

So, I’m not even going to try. I’m not going to even entertain the possibility of trusting any of them.

The church I go to, has the children’s ministry – where I can see them at all times. The toilets are single toilets, so no predators can be hanging out in the toilets.

So as long as we are in these areas, where I can monitor and see my children at all times, ‘I’ know they are safe.

I don’t have to talk to any of them. I don’t have to socialise with them. Just turn up at the time the service starts, leave when the service ends. And that’s it.

I don’t trust the minister will be truthful, so why even bother asking her anything.

I don’t trust my church going counsellor is truthful with me about these issues, so why bother even trying. The church she goes to doesn’t even allow female elders. That’s how disordered and right wing they are. There’s red flags, right there.

Trust is a huge issue to me. And why would I bother assuming I can trust people, who have a deep history of such unwise, opinions & actions, dishonesty, dealing with things in-house and in secret……and abuse so many people – children, LGBTIQ, women?

I don’t have to trust any of them. I just have to trust me. And trust my capacity to keep my children safe. And I will keep them safe. Because, I am a real mother, who cares more about protecting my children, than being a mindless sheep, in a church going along with the hierarchy, just to fit in. Continue reading

Church people take note…

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I am considering sending this to every church in the area where I live.

Of course, most will ignore it.

But, at least I would have tried.

I’m aware many church people will say ‘but they’ve paid their duty (prison) and they’ve been forgiven by God’ etc…

But, the fact is, most paedophiles and child sex offenders CANNOT be ‘cured’. They do not respond to rehabilitation programs.

So knowing this – it is disgusting, to allow these predators into churches – knowingly putting children at risk.

Most parents would never knowingly take their children to any other place where paedophiles and child offenders are attending. So why is a church any different?

Church is not meant to be an unsafe place, where children are at greater risk of being sexually abused.

All offenders, should be offered pastoral advice, care etc, away from normal church services. Not allowed into the general services. For all the church people, who immaturely believe I am being ‘judgmental’ and not showing enough ‘grace, mercy etc’…. you are wrong. I am not condemning child sex offenders, I don’t want them to burn in hell, I’m not suggesting they should not receive spiritual guidance and be supported in their journey.

I am simply saying, they should not be around children. That is empathy for children – who are vulnerable and don’t have a voice. And children who are let down by church people, who all too often encourage child abuse and fail to protect them. You only have to see the Royal Commission into child sexual abuse – to see how much abuse goes on. And still goes on.

I’m adding to this – I am so thankful this poster was so well received, on Twitter, including by mental health professionals. Thank God there are discerning people out there, who understand how wrong it is, to welcome known predators, to be vulnerable children.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

All blogs written by Lilly Hope Lucario and subject to © Copyright Protected.

All rights reserved. No part of any entry/blog, may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the name of the author – Lilly Hope Lucario and a clear link back to this blog –  https://healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.wordpress.com/

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Tears for all those abused by ‘conversion therapy’.

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Just when I think it can’t get any worse about spiritual/religious abuse….. I hear about conversion therapy. And cults, who use rape and torture, to ‘convert’ people.

This is evil at work. Sick, heinous, vile people, using God as their excuse for abusing people, in such sick, perverted ways.

As a brave courageous survivor, let me know what he endured, I cried. The level of suffering is beyond imaginable. I sobbed.

I have to write my second book. I have to get the first one finished and published, so I can write the second one.

I will include a section on cults and churches that really are cults.

And I will include a section on conversion therapy, as well as the abuse the LGBTIQ community endure from religious people.

I wish I could do more. I know I can’t. I know it’s not my responsibility to. But, Continue reading


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When the first interaction from a religious person…. is about forgiveness. *sigh.

Religious people, can be very tunnel visioned, very black and white and very lacking in empathy, or understanding about trauma. They also often feel very compelled and entitled, to shame you, for not being a ‘good enough Christian’…. by shaming you about forgiveness, grace etc.

I have come to realise, if the first interaction on social media with a religious person, is about forgiveness, I know I am dealing with someone unhealthy.

So, I utilise the block facility on Twitter. I don’t entertain unhealthy, dysfunctional religious people anymore.

You cannot reason, with people who choose not to have rational, empathic or reasonable thinking.

If shaming people about forgiveness, is your thing….. you are not welcome in my life, in any way. You are not going to make my followers feel shamed, by toxic religious and spiritual abuse. Continue reading