Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


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Thankful to be able to understand spiritual abuse & help other survivors ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

I am not thankful for all the abuse I have endured in my life….. I don’t thank abusers for the harm they inflict. I don’t do all that shallow rationalising that I somehow ‘needed’ to be abused, to help others.

But, I am glad I am someone able to use all the trauma I have endured, to help others – through an understanding of lived experience.

Spiritual abuse is something I have endured. Grooming from a pastor, narcissistic abuse from him, his wife, the senior pastor and most of the flock, who sided with the abusers, as often happens.

Toxic churches handle abuse really badly. They re-traumatise the victims over and over. Too many toxic churches and toxic church people victim blame, victim shame, and protect the abusers. It goes on a lot in the more conservative, fundamentalist churches.

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I know the pain and suffering this causes.

I have such compassion for people who have endured spiritual abuse, which is also emotional and psychological abuse.

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Spiritual abuse is severe abuse and greatly impacts people’s lives. Continue reading

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Book Recommendation – Healing From Hidden Abuse ~ Shannon Thomas

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A book I highly recommend, due to the amazing author – Shannon Thomas – LCSW.

Shannon has considerable insight into psychological abuse, from a professional and survivor point of view.

And it is always the survivors – who in my opinion – have the most insight into abuse and abusers.

This book also expresses the abuse found with churches and church people – something I am very aware of having endured.

Shannon is a Christian, as am I, so there is that added layer of spiritual abuse and religious abuse, I know is needed to be discussed far more.

I am really looking forward to reading it and giving a review.

This book is available for pre-order now and to buy late August on

Amazon @ https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Hidden-Abuse-Recovery-Psychological/dp/0997829087/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1470438802&sr=1-2

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Wow, it’s amazing how God uses my blog…

It amazes me, how this always happens. Just when I start doubting what I am doing, and whether to continue…….. something happens, to show me just how much God wants me to continue.

I don’t intend saying much, as what has been shared with me, is confidential. But, what I will say, is I am so thankful my blog, what I have endured, my courage to write my abusive experiences out…. as this has helped someone being spiritually abused, by the same people as I have been abused by.

To know God was also helping someone – to guide church people away from a cult-like church, and to then guide this person to my blog, to help clarify this persons experience… is truly amazing.

I have always said, it is not about numbers. It about quality. helping people in a truly meaningful way… matters.

God will always use what was meant for evil, for good, if we are willing.

I don’t deserve to have been abused, spiritually…. and I am not thankful it happened.  Because that would be thanking evil.

I don’t rationalise abuse. I don’t put some positive spin on it. No-one ever deserves to be abused. God does not ever want anyone abused.

But, God will use this to help others. Continue reading


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I need to work on my ‘approach’ with people…

I’m what some would say ‘a straight talker’. Verbally, I say things quite bluntly – how they are.

People often don’t respond to ‘blunt’. They need a softly softly approach. And that’s the verbal communication style, I need to learn.

I emailed my counsellor today, to let her know I realise the following phrase, whilst true, about church people’s lack of keeping children safe , enabling predators, and absolute lack of wisdom…. is not gonna get church people to listen…

“You think you are full of grace, mercy and compassion…… but really you are just full of shit”.

I did have a giggle to myself. Because I can see how many church people would react to that!

When I know I need to work on something….. I do.

But, after a really shit weekend, it was good to have a giggle.

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Thank you God, for Christians who ‘get it’ & ‘get’ me.

Shannon Thomas, a very insightful Christian counsellor, is one of few Christians I have connected with – who ‘gets it’, when it comes to church people and abuse. And how badly church people manage dangerous people.

Shannon sent this reply, which I am SO deeply grateful for.

Praise God, for her heart and soul. I feel less like I am alone in this spiritual battle, when I connect with Christian souls like Shannon.

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Shannon also re-tweeted my post (see below) about how vile it is, that child sex offenders, are welcomed into churches. Continue reading


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I must remember churches are full of wolves in sheeps clothing & stage 3 immaturity.

My levels of frustration about church people, is due to my understanding that many of them, are not in fact Christians, and many are very immature in the faith journey. And knowing the harm they cause, as a result.

And whilst I have awareness of where they are at…….. I am also aware, they choose not to see anything further, than stage 3 thinking and beliefs.

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I’ve been identified, by my first Christian counsellor, as being at stage 5. Those at stage 3, will believe people such as myself, as being ‘backsliders’. Because they refuse to see anything more than what they want to believe.

This spiritual maturity, runs parallel to emotional growth and maturity. I see this with most people, who resent, resist and repel, anything and anyone, they do not personally understand.

And interestingly, many ministers and church leaders, keep the ‘flock’ at stage 3…. because it’s easier to control. They don’t encourage questioning….. they just want mindless sheep.

My frustration, is not so much that they are immature, but for the harm they cause to many, as a result. Which is not okay. People will immaturely state I am judgmental. Which I fully expect, from unwise, emotionally and spiritually immature people.

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Plus the very obvious issue – of ‘wolves in sheeps clothing’ and the ‘dogs’ that are attracted to churches, because church people so often fail to deal with such people in an inappropriate manner.

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But, I will not keep quiet, to placate people, who as a result of their choices, harm others.

That would be placating evil. I don’t do that.

http://www.psychologycharts.com/james-fowler-stages-of-faith.html Continue reading