Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


Black & White Views About Abuse Don’t Help Anyone ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

purple-005

I see these distorted views all over social media, perpetuated by survivors of abuse and mental health professionals.

When I see this, I know I am dealing with….. a non insightful person, someone not willing to deal with honesty, or someone with an unhealthy personal agenda.  Continue reading


Why Being Authentic Really Matters ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

I have the skill of working people out – as to them being authentic, or fake, and whether they are manipulative and exploitative. All due to a lifetime of ‘wolves in sheep’s clothing’. A lifetime of surviving and dealing with toxic people. It has created a skillset beyond the norm, which I required from a young age, to survive.

Red flags occur all the time in my life. My personal life, and on social media. I will come to know someone is not authentic (including on social media) and this has been proven correct and accurate, so many times. I will detect a fake, quicker than most people. Even quicker than many who know about toxic people.

One of things I truly hate in humanity – is the ease of which so many people will manipulate others, through lies and deceit, and exploit people in the process.

I see this within the pseudoscience world…. so many con artists peddling lies, to exploit people for money. And exploiting people’s insecurities and worries about health and the health of their children.

authentic 2

So many people out there, are exploiting people with alternative health, that has zero evidence of efficacy and dangerous stupidity is being encouraged. Anti-vaxxers are huge perpetrators of spreading lies. They work on promoting fear and a belief in conspiracy, that is now leading to formerly eradicated diseases coming back and the death of children as a result. There is no evidence that vaccinations are dangerous, or cause autism or any other issues. But, there are many people promoting this conspiracy theories about Big Pharma and they are delusional.

And anti-vaxxers are just one area of dangerous and delusional thinking, that is negatively impacting society. Another example is pyramid/MLM schemes that promote lies and deceit. One company I became aware of who engage in this is DoTERRA Essential Oils, who have been slammed by the FDA for insinuating oils can cure cancer, Ebola and autism. And they have a deceitful marketing scam in place, which is complete lies – that their oils are ‘therapeutic grade’. There is no such thing. The only ‘essential’ part of essential oils, is believing their lies. That is essential to them successfully conning you. When I found out this company are based completely on lies and exploitation, I realised just how deep the levels of con artistry exist within the pseudoscience world.

This from Dr George Simon – is insight into the minds of pseudoscience promoters….. who do not want to submit to the greater knowledge, research and understanding of scientists and experts in the field….

“To have character integrity you have to not only be genuine but also principled. Moreover, to be properly principled you have to both respect and be willing to subordinate yourself to some “higher power” or authority. Ultimately, the mark of the disturbed character is their deficient or absent recognition of and submission to a higher power.

The manipulative personality is a particular breed of character. Most folks manipulate to some degree. But some folks “con” as a lifestyle. Such disturbed characters get the things they want from people through deception and trickery. They are who they are, which I suppose makes them “authentic” in one regard. But they’re not who they appear to be when they present themselves to you. So that makes them inherently dishonest – proverbial wolves in sheep’s clothing.”

~ Dr George Simon – Expert In Toxic People & Author of In Sheep’s Clothing. 

Source: https://www.drgeorgesimon.com/manipulative-characters-lack-authenticity/

You only have to look at the obvious BS being promoted by people like David Avacodo Wolfe – who is indeed a #WolfeInSheepsClothing. He peddles absolute BS and so many fall for it. It is a dire state that society is in, when he has over a million followers on Facebook alone, and so many choose to agree with his beliefs – such as ‘gravity is a toxin’, ‘chocolate is an octave of the sun’ and ‘the earth is flat’. I find it absolutely bizarre that people swallow that BS. But, I also suspect Wolfe knows he is peddling BS, and he is actually laughing at how much BS people will swallow. I think he really knows what he is doing, and a master con artist. Either that, or one of the most delusional people on the planet. And he is getting very rich – despite claiming that Big Pharma are only in it for the money. Does Wolfe supply his supplements and ‘natural’ products etc for free……….no of course he doesn’t.

And some people truly buy into the belief that believing lies and BS, makes you ‘open minded’. It helps them rationalise their irrational thinking. Their capacity for insight and critical thinking, does not exist.

Some people will claim all of this is harmless. But, it isn’t. The bigger picture is it’s dangerous and affects the health of people, and worse – is harming children.

It also encourages delusional thinking – because any thinking that is based upon lies, with no evidence to prove it’s efficacy – is delusional. Continue reading


3 Comments

Why Black & White Thinking Is Harmful & Needs To Be Ignored ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

black-and-white-thinking

 

I really am so over seeing how other people think we ‘must’ always be…

 

Examples…

~ Like we ‘must’ always be ‘so strong’ all the time. Other people’s idea of strong, is not always what is necessary in each individual situation. And if we don’t meet their expectations, that does not make us weaker.

~ Like we ‘must’ always speak up and expose abusers etc. That is not always safe or the right thing to do, as it could worsen our situation. In fact, speaking up can cause more harm, and must be approached carefully and with caution.

~ Like we ‘must’ always be strong warrior survivors…. when that simply shames people who are struggling – and there is NO shame in struggling. And if some people need to wear that identity of being a warrior, that is fine, but they don’t get to shame others in the process.

~ Like we ‘must’ always go no contact with toxic people…. which is not always the right choice in every situation. Boundaries are necessary, but no contact is not always appropriate.

~ Like we ‘must’ forgive otherwise we will not heal, which is untrue and can cause a lot of damage in the healing journey. Premature forgiveness, is harmful. And you can heal without forgiving heinous intentional abuse.

Please do not listen to other people’s demands of these ‘absolutes’, when their journey and their reality – is not yours. And nor should it be.

Black and white thinking – which is what this issue is – is poor cognitive processing and cognitively distorted thinking. And a lack of empathy. Which needs to be ignored.

We each have our own journey, our own needs and they will often be different to others.

There is no ‘perfect’ or ‘one’ way to survive trauma and deal with the consequences of it.

And please don’t allow anyone to shame you into believing you are weak, or in some way inferior, as a result of your different needs.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

All blogs written by Lilly Hope Lucario and subject to © Copyright Protected.

All rights reserved.

No part of any entry/blog, may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, screenshots, copying & pasting, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods.

This includes adaptations in all forms of media.

 

 

 


1 Comment

People who rationalise abuse, as a gift…

I see people have all sorts of attitudes about abuse and often they are seeking to make the abuse somehow a ‘gift’.

Abuse is never a gift. Abuse is wrong, undeserved, and never excusable and should not be rationalised.

To suggest it is a gift – is to congratulate the abuser.

It is to suggest the victim, needed the abuse.

blank quote-001

It suggests the survivor had to be abused to ‘learn lessons’.

It really irritates me, when I see therapists, telling people that abuse was a gift. Rationalising it with BS like ‘your abusive mother showed you who not to be’.

Absolute rubbish and very unhealthy thinking.

Rationalising abuse is very distorted thinking and any therapists suggesting this is how abuse survivors should think, should not be therapists. Continue reading


Praise God – for more real Christians, writing about child abuse, victim blaming/shaming & shame shifting.

I am always so relieved and thankful when I see Christians, writing the truth…. about the continual victim blaming, victim shaming and shame shifting, that goes on in way too many churches.

Praise God, for the truth coming into the light!

I could have written this part myself. Exactly the same understanding, I have.

“The adult claims the child wanted it—or the child deserved it—or the child masterminded it—or the child needed it—or the child was sinful. Abusers constantly are trying to shift blame for abuse onto the victims they abused.

And society in general is more than willing to give abusers the benefit of the doubt. After all, we live in patriarchal times and men are the most common abusers. So we justify the abuse, or we excuse it, or we come up with reasons for why it was not the abuser’s fault, or we decide it was a mutual decision.

Then we repeat these stories and justifications and excuses and rationales over and over again, until even a self-contradictory biblical narrative is interpreted by churches and Christians in favor of the abuser for centuries.”

The Lot of the Abused: How We Shift the Blame Onto Victims

 

 

 


The ‘all or nothing’ thinking, about mental illness & crime.

It interests me, how so many people go to the continuum extremes, when emotive issues are being considered.

I see this more and more. Especially due to social media.

An example…..  a mother kills her child.

One end of the continuum – the mother is evil and deserves the death penalty.

The other end  – the mother must have mental illness issues and is not responsible for her actions.

Firstly, without knowing all the facts,  neither of these assumptions should be made. But, they are.

Secondly, the issue of mental illness, is not about whether there is mental illness, it’s what type of mental illness. Psychosis, ‘may’ be a reason.. Schizophrenia, may be a reason. Being a psychopath, may be a reason. The latter, meaning there is full and conscious responsibility for murder.

Most people don’t know, that some experts believe 1 in 25 people, are full blown psychopaths. Of those, a percentage will be sadistic, criminal psychopaths, who are capable and responsible for murder.

I increasingly sit in the middle of this continuum of thinking. I don’t jump to assumptions, based on the little facts, put out there by the media.

But, many will assume. Many feel entitled to assumptions. Many lack the insight to realise, their assumptions, are not wise.

So, in the case of the woman who killed her toddler child (and confessed to killing the child after lying to the police about the child being kidnapped)…… I will not assume she does or does not have mental illness issues, that made her unable to be responsible for her actions. I will not assume, she did or did not plan the death of her child. I will not assume anything.

Because, I do not know enough.

I will not pretend to be ‘so compassionate’ as to assume e.g. psychosis. That’s not compassion, that’s wanting to make a terrible situation, feel less terrible.

I will not pretend to be someone who can assume she is an evil psychopath. That’s not healthy and is a complete lack of compassion.

I’ll sit in the middle, where it is far more wise and discerning. Where assumptions are not made. Where excuses are not made. Where rationalising, is not used.

I will let the police and those dealing with her mental health issues, decide.

And pray that if she is a psychopath/personality disorder type, that she does not dupe and manipulate the psychiatrists. As can easily happen. And has happened. Many times.

And I pray if she has been experiencing psychosis, she receives the understanding, empathy and support, she needs. Continue reading