A post to my page. I have endured this my entire life.
Toxic people like to re-direct the focus – away from their chosen decisions to abuse – to the reaction of the victim.
It’s a form of manipulation, that enables the toxic abuser – to avoid focussing on their actions, to avoid taking accountability or responsibility for their chosen abusive behaviours.
When they re-direct focus to e.g. the victims anger – they can claim the victim is the one in the wrong. The victim is the one with the issues. The victim is the problem.
See how they shift the focus and shame – from themselves – to the victim? It happens a lot. It is very common with toxic people.
They can say things like ‘why are you so angry’ – ‘no one can talk to you when you get like this’, ‘look at you – you’re crazy’.
The focus is shifted – and the focus becomes about the anger/resentment/emotional distress – the victim is feeling.
The anger/ emotions/ distress etc the victim has ‘every right’ to feel…….. because being angry/ emotional/ distressed- at being abused – is a NORMAL and rational response to being treated badly and to being abused.