I often look at my situation in a negative way, put shame and failure onto myself…all the usual complex trauma reactions.
But, maybe I am exactly where God wants me to be.
I have learned, I don’t ‘need’ people in my life – I’ve had to.
I have learned I can do what I want for others, help others suffering, while suffering myself.
I have learned throughout my life, the need to rely on no-one but myself, trust no-one but Jesus.
I have learned to give, with no expectation or need for anything in return. I don’t do what I do for money, status, luxuries etc.
I have learned I can only help support those who are ready, willing and need that and those that don’t, or need something different, that’s okay.
I have learned, I can rely on my own wisdom and listen to the wisdom of Jesus prompting me.
I have learned, to cut out so much bullshit society perpetuates. To see and question so much. To think deeply and reflect deeply, on everything everyone says and does.
I don’t want to be around people, face to face, and maybe that is absolutely okay.
So, instead of thinking negatively – because of the opinions and views of others, maybe I will just be content and aware, I am where I need to be.
It may change, if it does…it does.