Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

I am exactly where I need to be.

I often look at my situation in a negative way, put shame and failure onto myself…all the usual complex trauma reactions.

But, maybe I am exactly where God wants me to be.

I have learned, I don’t ‘need’ people in my life – I’ve had to.

I have learned I can do what I want for others, help others suffering, while suffering myself.

I have learned throughout my life, the need to rely on no-one but myself, trust no-one but Jesus.

I have learned to give, with no expectation or need for anything in return. I don’t do what I do for money, status, luxuries etc.

I have learned I can only help support those who are ready, willing and need that and those that don’t, or need something different, that’s okay.

I have learned, I can rely on my own wisdom and listen to the wisdom of Jesus prompting me.

I have learned, to cut out so much bullshit society perpetuates. To see and question so much. To think deeply and reflect deeply, on everything everyone says and does.

I don’t want to be around people, face to face, and maybe that is absolutely okay.

So, instead of thinking negatively – because of the opinions and views of others, maybe I will just be content and aware, I am where I need to be.

It may change, if it does…it does.


My political views are simple, and would be very unpopular, for many.

My political views on tax etc, are very simple and would be very unpopular, with many.

Including many middle class people and some people I know.

I believe we are blessed, to bless others.

Therefore, if you have been blessed with the capacity to earn lots of money, you should be very thankful, and have empathy to see others haven’t.

I believe in taxing the rich more than they are, because they ‘do not need’ above a certain level of income.

And I do agree with work for the dole, for those not working, who don’t have a child to care for, who are meant to be seeking employment.

I do not agree with making lower income, sick, elderly people pay to go to see the doctor.

And I believe education, should be free to all. Including Uni.

What you do not need, you should be willing to share.

‘That’ is what would make this world, a far better place.

Never going to happen, but that is what is needed.

I have learned, to be content with the lower income, we have. I am content with the lack of luxuries the society I live in demands. Even wise people I know – I believe do not share enough.

I don’t need expensive holidays, jewellery, material possessions, expensive clothes, a fancy house, in fancy ‘address’, or an expensive car etc.

I am truly content, with what God has provided for us. And I have known for some time now, that I could not be a ‘rich’ Christian – because there is no such thing.

Needing, more than we need, and not sharing the excess we do not need – is selfishness.

And not of Jesus.


Resisting the urge, to point out the obvious :)

During my last session with my doctor, she stated an activity that she had done over the weekend with her family, which was lovely and I am really happy for her and told her I though this was lovely 🙂

This activity requires money. It’s expensive. My doctor is middle class.

She talked about this activity being so good for discipline for children etc and as she talked, it was as if she was suggesting to me, that it would be great for my family…..which I’m sure it would…

Except, we are working class, on one low income, with no money for any extras, no money for luxuries of the society in which we reside, no money for expensive….anything’s.

I know she meant no harm, at all. But, I had to resist the urge to point out the obvious, that we are lower income working class, and she is wealthy middle class and I’m sure that activity would be fab for everyone, but we are not all able to access, most of what then middle classes can.
Continue reading