Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


4 Comments

So glad I found the IP blacklist – where you add IP addresses of trolls

I’ve had a lot of trolling, abusive comments and issues from abusive people, on this blog over the time I have been blogging here.

I’ve had paedophiles, sociopaths, narcissists – all troll my blog.

I’ve had abusive people I’ve banned on social media – troll and abuse me here on this blog.

And I’ve dealt with them all, mostly by completely ignoring them.

Now, I have found the place where you can add IP addresses of trolls – so they are blocked. I wish I had found this earlier, but better late than never.

This is the latest one blocked – some troll in Bucharest – venting and trolling for fun. Such narcissistic and sociopathic behaviour. Her ‘screen’ name is Kati Lomer (doubt that is her real name). Her IP address: 213.177.4.234. I also have her email address, used to comment on this site.  Continue reading


I love that I can ignore BS comments, here on WordPress :)

WordPress, have a great function, where you can select which comments are approved.

And thank God, because there are some shitty human beings in this world, who feel so entitled to say some very nasty, irrational, invalidating, victim shaming, abuser protecting/enabling….. BS.

And of course, the downright sociopathic trolls, who don’t like seeing the truth revealed and need to vomit their darkness……. from the safety of their keyboard.

And I can ignore them all on here! Yay!

Thank you WordPress! 🙂

I love the security/safety features of this blog.

🙂

 

 


1 Comment

Calling someone a ‘troll’, is worse than homophobia, racism and sociopath behaviours?

I know when church people’s mindsets are messed up and when their priorities are screwed.

I site/page I used to follow, made a comment that calling someone a troll, is somehow worse than someone hating on the LGBTIQ community.

It’s really sad when you can spew hatred (in a passive aggressively nice way), but you are not allowed to call the abusive person a name like ‘troll’. Because heavens forbid, we would call an abusive person a name.

‘That’s’ of course is the issue, not the hatred being spewed about e.g. a transgender person. Bizarre.

I no longer follow that page. They can protect abusive people if they like. They can tolerate ‘nicely worded hatred’ if they like. I don’t have to be a part of that.

And if someone is clearly a troll, I will call them that.

If someone is narcissistic, I will call them that.

If someone is an asshole, I will call them that.

I don’t coddle abusive people.

And I don’t tolerate those who say I should.


6 Comments

Developing healthy boundaries, is not about hating people, being mean, or wanting to hurt people back ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

 

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Developing, implementing and maintaining healthy boundaries, is not easy. It feels weird, especially when you are someone who has always had soft boundaries.

I talk a lot about emotional boundaries, because I know they are vital in not being harmed anymore. They also help people control their emotional reactions and responses. I’ve had to learn boundaries and not get upset and react immediately at someone being hurtful, or toxic. I’ve spent a lot of energy learning self control, and I am consistently better at this.

Toxic/unhealthy people, will demand your boundaries are harmful. Of course they will, they don’t want you to implement something that stops them trampling over you emotionally. It will bug the shit out of toxic people, that they are no longer able to upset you, or they can’t do and say what they want. And in their entitled selfish minds, they should be allowed to do anything – and have no-one tell them differently. And they will see it as an attack to their ego if you show them this is not being tolerated. ‘How dare you stop me upsetting/harming you’. It’s always ‘all about toxic people’s needs’, in their selfish minds. When you look at the behaviour – it is like a toddler acting up and having a tantrum. That emotional development level stuck as a young child, as many narcissistic people are.

It will also create anger in people who have beliefs and issues they don’t want to confront about self. Cognitive dissonance is a real issue with toxic people. Today, I wrote a poster about ‘hurting other people being a choice’, and how ‘many people who have been abused, don’t abuse others’. That led to a very mixed reaction and about 8 people being banned from my page – for making excuses for being abusive to others. Bear in mind my page is for abuse survivors – not abusers. So, three of the banned people then stalked me by email. All that did, was prove I made the right choice to ban them. I’ve been told in counselling, when these people email me to tell me they are not happy with my boundaries, they are stalking. I ignore such emails now.

I don’t tolerate people making excuses for abusing people, and that is a boundary crossed that I don’t tolerate on my page. I make that very clear and I even warn people, not to make excuses. Yet, some still did… Continue reading


9 Comments

Passive aggressive behaviour…. is best ignored ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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Passive aggressive behaviour, is narcissistic behaviour. It is a cowardly attempt to criticise someone, yet make it not look like it comes from a mean hearted person.

It’s the kind of covert bullying type behaviour, many will not realise is toxic.

But, when you consider why someone would not choose to comment in a positive manner, and only choose to comment to criticise, it is easy to see the heart of the issue. They can make the effort to criticise, but can’t make the effort to write something positive…

Passive aggressive people, also sometimes like to start off with a ‘positive’ and then add a “but…. ” and then the real reason they are commenting comes out.

“Behind the smile, a hidden knife!”

― Ancient Chinese saying describing

passive-aggressive behavior

When you have intuition, it is easy to work unhealthy toxic people out. They want to feel better, by bringing other people down. And sometimes in a cowardly, covert manner. They want to make it look like they are ‘nice’, but really underneath it, is a unhappy, narcissistic need, to hurt someone else. And these people can even delude themselves they are being nice, and offering ‘advice’, but that’s a lie they tell themselves. People can rationalise their unhealthy behaviours easily. I see it all the time. Continue reading


1 Comment

I am really glad I can control which comments are shown on this blog.

I write my blog and share it with others, so others feel validated and understood.

My blog is NOT a place for dismissing my journey, invalidating my emotions and thoughts, victim shaming, victim blaming,  or a place for people to troll and vent their own issues.

I don’t go to other blogs and do this, because I am a decent person, with boundaries and an understanding of what is appropriate and what is not.

If I don’t like what I see written, I will ignore it and if I feel necessary, I will write my own thoughts about the issue.

Any invalidating, unhealthy, unnecessary, nasty, trolling comments, will not be authorised.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario


2 Comments

Following a Christian Counsellor’s advice about trolls ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

Social media can be great and used in really helpful, positive ways.

It can also be used for the opposite and certain platforms, are like dirty cesspools, for the trolls, sociopaths etc….. to hang out and vomit their darkness.

Facebook and YouTube, seem to be the worst, for trolls and shitty people. Ones who are provoking, and intentionally harming others.

An amazing and insightful Christian ~ Shannon Thomas, of Southlake Christian Counselling, who herself has dealt with trolls. She just blocks them and has this to say to myself and another amazing advocate – about the trolls…

You are two precious souls.

It just shows that the work is effective.

I do identify as an empath as the intuition goes

but it doesn’t hurt my feelings.

Trolls can kiss it for all I care”

I clearly need to not only have resilience, but also attitude, where I do not care in the slightest, as to their BS and blocking them. Continue reading


1 Comment

Enabling & making excuses…. is not love or compassion ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

People confuse their unhealthy enabling or making excuses for toxic people….. with love, or compassion.

It isn’t love, or compassion, to enable. Or to make excuses.

I see people online trolling, who like to suggest enabling, is okay. Often they are doing this, to provoke a reaction. Which is trolling in itself.

Like with any type of abusive person, they need to know their behaviour is not okay, people can be angry and annoyed, and they should face consequences.

If people are going to act like nasty bullies, then they should face being treated as that, and face the consequences.

These are choices, they make. They choose the behaviour, then they choose the consequences.

Enabling them, is not helping them. In fact, this cripples them and stops them facing any need to change and make healthier choices. Continue reading


3 Comments

I have an obsessed troll…. having an epic tantrum ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

I have recently been wrongly accused of stealing someone’s images. Note, these are two images, one with stats that are not his/her stats, they are research stats, and one poster of a famous persons quote on a plain background.

Firstly, she/he outright accused me of stealing, even though there is no proof. Irrational behaviour right there.

I have had pages use my posters – ones with my own words, where my page name has been removed, and I did not accuse them outright of stealing.  I simply asked them to use the original. When a page refused, only then did I report them. At that point I did not look for any more images. I simply blocked the page concerned.

But, this highly irrational person, went straight on the attack. ‘Narcissistic injury’ springs to mind.

And she/he has conducted a smear campaign about these posters being ‘stolen’ – which were not even her/his original work.

What is far more concerning…… is this person then spent many hours, trolling through my entire blog history – over 3000 posts, and all my Facebook pictures (100o’s) and all my Twitter pictures (100’s).

That is some dedication to obsessional behaviour and hatred.

Yet, there is no self awareness, or self insight.

And clearly she/he has no genuine intent to help people…. because if he/she did…… they would see all the quality work and help I offer to others, and they would encourage that. Not try to destroy that.

This person clearly has deeply rooted psychological issues and clearly resents all I am doing and achieving.

Narcissistic people, do become obsessed with their targets and clearly I happen to be their target, at the moment.

I hope at some point, this person realises, how deeply irrational and twisted, their behaviour is. Continue reading