Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


No You’re Not An Empath, INFJ or HSP. You’re A Narcissist

I will be writing a blog in this soon, because this is something I see occurring all too often. Narcissists are delusional about themselves, and will do anything to justify their ‘oversensitivity’ – which is in fact narcissistic sensitivity. Not empathic sensitivity.

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People’s true motivations & integrity, matter the most to me ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

Being someone who has seen the real motivations, behind so many fake facades, and seen true evil in action…….. motivations matters to me.

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Every heinous person, who has abused me, had a fake façade they hid behind. Most heinous people, don’t show everyone the dark person they truly are. They hide that behind a very manipulative image, of someone who is far better than they really are.

Many people get duped by this façade. Many heinous people are experts at manipulation, and they fool many. Including mental health professionals – who you would think, would know how to spot manipulators.

When thinking about this, I remind myself, that even one of the world’s leading experts in psychopaths, admits he was fooled and manipulated by them. So, any mental health professional, who believes they would not be duped, are delusional.

Every single person I have known, who has been a toxic, character disordered person, has pretended to be better than they really are. They even delude themselves, they are a better person, that they truly are.

It is true that some heinous people actually do admit what they are. But, most don’t.

Their level of integrity – to show who they truly are, and be up front and honest – is zero.

And integrity and the honesty that requires…. matters to me.

Having been abused by psychopaths, sociopaths, narcissists, sex offenders, child abusers, paedophiles…….. I have considerable experience, in seeing their fake images, at work. Continue reading


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Life keeps on proving, why most people cannot be trusted ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

Recent events, both online and offline, have made me wonder why I bother trying to trust people. Most people in this world, are untrustworthy. And life keeps on proving that to me.

There is a lot I could write, but I won’t. And actually I can’t be bothered. I’ve written it all before. Many times. Toxic people, selfish people, manipulative people…. are everywhere.

I am, however, at that point where I am beginning to not even care. I am not shocked by bad human behaviour. I am not shocked by selfishness. I am not shocked by dishonesty.

I find it vile, but I am not shocked.

I’ve been pretty upset about a situation today – that doesn’t even involve me, but does involve people who all claim to be something they really are not. Their capacity to delude themselves, is really strong.

You would think that those educated and knowledgeable about psychology, narcissism, human behaviours…….. would have a better standard for their own behaviour, than they have displayed. And I discerned these people as fake and dodgy, before they even had the opportunity to be toxic to me.

All this proves, is I need to build up relationships very slowly, very carefully and over a very long period of time, before any trust can be considered. This today, has been a needed reminder of that.

And keep in mind, my first counsellor said to me “no-one can ever be trusted 100%”. And I know many of the reasons why.

Dishonesty is at the root of them all.

People being dishonest with themselves, and/or with others.

And the human capacity to rationalise, justify and minimize – any of their own bad behaviours. Continue reading


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It takes far more courage, to not ‘do’ cheap grace ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

I realise the reason most people like ‘cheap grace’, is because they themselves, don’t need to be honest, don’t need to repent, don’t need to do anything.

Christians who just demand cheap grace, are weak and self serving. Yet they will delude themselves, cheap grace, is about compassion, about mercy, about love.

I cannot lie and delude myself in this way.

But, I also don’t want…… retribution, payback, ‘karma’, retaliation, anyone to burn in hell., be abused in prison, the death penalty…. or whatever else people like to imagine will happen to abusers.  My conscience and sense of right and wrong, is too developed. I don’t have the mentality of anyone who thinks abuse is ever okay.

So, I just leave them to God. He can deal with them. It’s not my job.

I’m controversial, because I don’t buy into most people’s beliefs.

I walk a path, that requires insight, honesty, integrity and not swallowing self serving lies.

It’s a lonely path. I’m not ‘popular’ as a result. My integrity to honesty, doesn’t lower, to be more popular.

And who’s my greatest role model and doing what’s right, regardless of what anyone is doing, being pretty unpopular as a result and being rejected for speaking truth and not being a people pleaser…….

Jesus.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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All blogs written by Lilly Hope Lucario and subject to © Copyright Protected.

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No part of any entry/blog, may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, screenshots, copying & pasting, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods.

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Quotes, that show a lack of self insight & self honesty

I see so many unwise, dishonest quotes travelling social media. They truly are bizarre to me. All they show is a lack of self honesty and a lack of self insight.

This quote is one of them…

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For any person to believe their heart is pure, is basically saying they are perfect. No-one is perfect. No-one is without thoughts that are not perfectly good. Everyone has thoughts, that are imperfect and no-one is ‘never’ selfish at some point.

It takes courage to admit this.

I absolutely agree, there is a continuum people are on, and too many people are too far up the selfish, self serving continuum………. and some are far less selfish, and far less self serving.

But, no-one is pure. No-one is perfect.

It is an unhealthy ego, that believes their heart is pure and not capable of improvement.

All this quote shows to me, is this black and white thinking issue, many people have. Where they believe in something absolutely and have little self insight, or self honesty.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

All blogs written by Lilly Hope Lucario and subject to © Copyright Protected.

All rights reserved. No part of any entry/blog, may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the name of the author – Lilly Hope Lucario and a clear link back to this blog –  https://healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.wordpress.com/

This includes adaptations in all forms of media.


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Discerning the controlling, self serving, dishonest people.

I’ve been running a ladies group for the last few months. It’s going really well and I’m getting to know the ladies. There is a healthy mix of introverted and extroverted people. Some are more vocal than others, and some are quite opinionated. Some are chatty, some are more reserved. And that’s all good.

I’m pretty skilled at working people out, and vigilant, especially when someone is starting to show red flags, of unhealthy traits.

One woman, is very opinionated. Likes to tell everyone what they should and should not be thinking/doing. And if challenged, even in a fun, jokey way, she does not like this.

I am what some people would call opinionated. I have strong opinions about serious matters. But, when it comes to other people’s lives, their relationships, their dating lives etc …. I do not want, or feel it is my place to ‘tell’ them what to do. I may not want what they are doing for my own life, but I don’t voice this, or try to tell them what they are doing is wrong.

But, this woman does. And she is already unappreciative of me giving a different viewpoint about a particular matter. She does not take it well, if her opinion is not immediately agreed with. She also likes to dominate conversations, and be the centre of attention – with opinions. She wants people to agree with her. Only. I certainly see she is someone who wants to be the circus ringmaster. I don’t intend being one of her clowns/monkeys.

She also gave advice today, about lying to someone, when there was no need to lie. This was a red flag. If she gives advice to people to lie, then she is someone who lies. And believes this is okay. And has no conscience about deceiving people, in the process. When I suggested an alternative that did not require lying, she was not happy. ‘Her’ advice, in her mind, is the ‘only’ advice.

“If someone gives advice to others,

that includes lying to people,

you can assume they probably lie to you too”

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

Continue reading


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People who tell half the story, to cover their arse.

I’ve seen this so many times. People who are selective about which parts of a situation they own up to. People who deliberately avoid speaking about their actions that really caused harm.

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Telling half a story and avoiding the parts that show you are in the wrong and hurt someone badly, is lying.

It’s dishonesty.

It’s a lack of courage.

It’s a lack of integrity.

It’s manipulating the truth, to cover your arse.

It’s manipulating the truth, to avoid responsibility and accountability.

It’s pathetic.

I don’t trust such people and people who engage in this behaviour, often show their true colours when pushed. Continue reading


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Duplicitous behaviours/words

Discussed this in counselling this week. I will often pick up on people who are engaging in duplicitous speech/actions and I will sense the motivation for it.

I choose to consider why this is occurring, how it affects me, the extent of any issues being caused by it, and what I need to do as a result.

I have standards people need to meet to be a part of my life, and ongoing dishonesty, is not something I choose to condone, ignore, accept or tolerate.

There are many ways to be dishonest and this is just one of many. And I can discern these behaviours, in a Continue reading