I know my trauma history is not the worst, but it is pretty bad. Many abusers. From Birth. Every kind of abuse. Severe abuse. Over prolonged periods of time. All the important people in my life.
The reality of this, sometimes hits me full force.
Like just now. While talking to a mental health professional who provides counselling on a ranch for victims of abuse. I explained I have had all the top 3 causes of PTSD; prolonged child abuse, domestic violence, rape, so I empathise with many survivors.
And stating those three types of abuse, in no way explains the severity, or how horrendous it is to endure it repeatedly over long periods of time.
It’s too much.
And the words of another incredibly brave survivor ‘It is a lifelong sentence, it never leaves you’. And he has a mother and family members, who love him and care about him.
It hits me like a huge wave of fear, pain, grief and it makes it hard to breathe. Continue reading