Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


I always know which of my posters…won’t be popular. But I don’t write to be popular.


This poster won’t be popular.

Often I have noticed the posters people write that appeal to the ego, the inner child ego state we all have – are the popular ones.

Posters about the reality….we *all* have good, bad and ugly within us – which means we are not ‘amazing’ etc….don’t go down well.

If I wrote to be popular, to have people like me…..that would be narcissism. I accept I will have people not like me because of some of what I write. That’s okay.

I write what I believe to be the truth  because it is what I have faced within myself and I know I need to do this. I am still delving into the depths of my soul. So I share what I am doing myself, because I believe it is needed for others too.

People can choose to ignore it, think it’s crap…that’s okay. I know many will.

If it makes even one person think a little….I’ve done my job. There are people willing to face the immaturity within society and it is those people – these posters are aimed at.


It is not wisdom to tell people to be proud of who they are and not change.

It is really unwise advice to tell the whole of society to ‘be who they are’.

Most people have issues, and don’t grow or mature into all they can be.

Society is becoming increasingly immature, because society promotes ‘being proud of who you are’ – even if unhealthy, nasty, bitchy, bully, egocentric, egotistic, narcissistic, immature, greedy, selfish….

Abuse of every kind is increasing throughout society, mental health problems are increasing, crime is increasing etc…..

Is it wisdom to say to society….’be proud of who you are’ ?

Clearly not. Continue reading

People with inflated self esteem & grandiose delusions, really trigger me.

It is okay to acknowledge this.…as it affects my wellbeing.

One trigger I know I have, is people’s ‘delusions of grandeur’, or ‘inflated sense of self esteem’, or inflated sense of self importance’ which can be found within several diagnoses of Narcissistic PD, Bipolar and others.



Both of these diagnoses are very, very different, but both of these links above show how the person will have a self inflated sense of self esteem/delusions of grandeur….and I will be able to easily spot this, as I am very discerning. This has happened again in the last few weeks.

And I am honest in saying I find this very triggering, having been raised by narcs/sociopaths and abused by too many, who all had inflated self esteem and were very abusive and caused me great harm.

Once that ego stuff becomes obvious to me, it triggers issues that immediately put me on alert and I will back away from that person and want to run far from them, as a form of self protection. Especially as I then watch that person continually considering and promoting self and own agenda and I start to feel used, which is also a trigger for me.
Continue reading

It is a sad reflection of the world we live in when…

It is sad reflection of the world we live in…

Where you need to spend more time explaining

why you are empathic and compassionate and

receive more negativity and rejection about

having these virtues…..

Than you ever do, if you choose to be

selfish, egocentric and self serving.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario


Forgiveness for abusers is one thing, empathy for future victims, is about action.

We live in a society that believes many things that are often all for self. Egocentric.

Many people believe the end of the line in dealing with abuse, is about personal healing and for some, forgiveness.

This is all about self needs.

But, what about future victims? Many don’t often care about that. I do. I care a lot.

Even my faith, the religious side of Christianity, many church people believe forgiveness, is the ‘be all and end all’. It’s not for me. I care about what will happen to others, because I have empathy and I am not ‘all about me’.

I don’t believe for one second that God requires His people to just forgive and move on. Did Jesus model that? Did he just stand there, watch abuse occur, do nothing and just forgive them and move on?

Of course he didn’t. He acted. Not in a way to repay evil with evil, but to stand up to evil and expose the abuse, lies and those being deceived. Continue reading

Everywhere I look, there are entitled, selfish people. But, I am the freak/weird.

My husband wanted to take a trip to a shopping centre near an airport where we live. *sigh. Shopping centres, hold no interest for me anymore. In fact, I do not like being surrounded by all the materialistic stuff, I do not wish to ‘buy into’ anymore. I see clearly how materialism and consumerism are not healthy and not needed and not good for society.

Sure, I go when we ‘need’ stuff. But that is all.

But, my husband wanted to go, and our son needed a new pair of soccer boots, so, off we went. As usual hives occurring.

On the way, on the highway, there were several trucks and cars, all tail-gating other drivers. And I mean, so close it was ridiculous. A huge truck, was so close to this little red car, that is was highly dangerous.

And this Aussie way many have of tail-gating (it is way worse here than in other countries) is down right dangerous.

These drivers feel ‘entitled’ to drive too close, knowing it is wrong and knowing it is dangerous. They do not care about the danger this poses for others. They ‘want’ to tail-gate and so they will.

Such poor mental health to do this. It isn’t just being an asshole – because within every asshole, there is poor mental health occurring.
Continue reading


The lack of empathy in people, just never ceases to bother me.


Empathy is rare, I know that. Most people only have sympathy, but think that is empathy.

I can tell who has empathy and who doesn’t and why.

Saw a post about mothers on Christmas Island trying to end their lives, to give their children a better chance at life.

Now regardless of the politics, this made me want to cry. Just thinking about how these mothers are feeling, to be considering suicide to help their children, makes me very emotional.

And yet so many do not have empathy and I have just forced myself to get off a page where this is all being debated and the lack of empathy astounds me. The selfishness, the ‘making up’ facts to better their argument, then ignoring the real facts I provided. Continue reading


No expectations. No disappointments.

I my life experiences, I have learned, that expectation of people, leads to getting hurt.

Humans, are deeply sinful. Often lacking in integrity. Often very selfish. Often dishonest.

I have tried many times, to trust people, to expect good, and mostly been very disappointed, very hurt too often, abused too much. Yes, I probably expect too much from people…like honesty. Like…wisdom. Like…unselfishness. These seem beyond the capacity of many.

I feel very disconnected from society, from people. Always have done. I’ve always seen all these issues people have and tolerated them, assumed it was me that had the problem. Now, I know it isn’t me.

It’s hard being someone with life wisdom, a deeper understanding of people’s issues than they have of themselves, with growing psychology understanding.

I am a Christian, I am meant to tolerate people, and I always have. I still do. But, in no way, is my increasing awareness of humanity, giving me more capacity to trust in people, in fact it is exactly the opposite. And Jesus knew not to trust people, He knew all the disciples would fail Him. And they did, when the shit hit the fan. A perfect Biblical illustration of human weakness. Yes, He still loved them, but He knew not to trust them.

If you never trust, you never expect, you don’t end up disappointed, don’t get hurt. After my life, it is the way I know I need to be.

I don’t think people who lack courage, who lack honesty, who lack integrity, who lack compassion, who can’t be trusted – are bad. They are who they are. But, I know all too well the hurt and harm this can cause and does cause.

I’ve always said, to trust anyone, to expect good to happen, to expect anything good from people – has always been my greatest form of self harm – and it was. Continue reading

Narcisissm & bullying epidemic, increasingly abusive & unhealthy society.

We are living in a narcissism epidemic where;

Apathy thrives

Abuse increases

Abusers are enabled

Wisdom decreases

Bullying is rife

Victim blaming increases

Fewer people care

And more and more enjoy it.

So wrong!

I refuse to join in with this sickness. I see it so clearly and I see how unhealthy society is.


When to tackle bullies, narcissists and sociopaths etc. ???

Had an evening of cyber bullying/stalking from sociopathic bullies, other people were harassed, bullied, threatened, called bad mothers, liars, so it was interesting to see, this was certainly not about anything I had done at all.

Yes, I could have ignored it all and avoided it – but I was already involved in it and knew other people were being harmed, and if I had ignored it – all of this would not been exposed and the bullies/sociopaths concerned, wouldn’t have come to light, but now more people know who these people ‘really’ are.

The truth should always be spoken.

I believe in NOT avoiding abuse and abusers and letting them continue. That is apathy, selfishness.

Society is as unhealthy as it is, because of too much apathy and selfishness.

I believe in courage, integrity, not wanting others hurt by people with bad intentions. Compassion, love etc – are NEVER about condoning, ignoring, avoiding abuse. That is all from a selfish heart.

Many people have been great, so supportive, non apathetic too and also wished to know the truth.

A few decided their ‘own’ needs were more important and were critical of my actions. That’s life. Some people are selfish, apathetic and don’t care about abuse and harm to others, but care if it happens to ‘them’, only. They are ‘all about me’.

My husband (cop) was livid when he found out and saw all the comments, bullying, the ‘tag teaming’ on Twitter to bully me, threats etc, from that PTSD, who claim to care about PTSD. They don’t, they have proven that by their actions – attacking people who have PTSD. No professional PTSD organisation attacks, threatens and bullies people, lies and stalks those, with PTSD. Continue reading