Black & White Views About Abuse Don’t Help Anyone ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

I see these distorted views all over social media, perpetuated by survivors of abuse and mental health professionals.

When I see this, I know I am dealing with….. a non insightful person, someone not willing to deal with honesty, or someone with an unhealthy personal agenda. 

Why People React Badly To My Empathy ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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#empathy #discernment #lillyhopelucario #healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd #complextrauma #ComplexPTSD #CPTSD #PTSD #abuse #childabuse #boundaries #healthypeople #selfcare #selfesteem . Empathy is not common, and it has been a part of my healing to work out & discern why people react badly to my empathy capacity. ~ Lilly Hope Lucario ❤️ . See my bio for the link to my website and there is the link to my award winning blog.

A post shared by Lilly Hope Lucario (@healingcomplextraumaptsd) on Jul 21, 2017 at 3:30am PDT

No You’re Not An Empath, INFJ or HSP. You’re A Narcissist

I will be writing a blog in this soon, because this is something I see occurring all too often. Narcissists are delusional about themselves, and will do anything to justify their ‘oversensitivity’ – which is in fact narcissistic sensitivity. Not empathic sensitivity.

There are countless blog posts, about me feeling like an alien on this planet

I absolutely feel like an alien on this planet and have written about this many times, on my blog.

I’m aware I think differently to many people. I understand human behaviour on a deeper level than many. Which is good and bad.

My teenage son “you are the most caring person, Mum”

I had a moment today, which almost reduced me to tears. We were sat eating dinner.

My teenage son (14), asked me how my day went. I explained I had a lovely time at my  ladies group. And how I am so happy to see some of the group members, have made friends with each other, and meet up outside of the group, along with their husbands. To which my son responded with “you are the most caring person, Mum”.

And he really meant it. He doesn’t say things like that unless he really means them. And he is pretty vocal about his views and opinions, because I allow him that safety of respectfully speaking his mind.

It meant a lot to me, that my sons see I am caring. Because modelling that to them, is important. I am aware my empathic and caring nature, has a great influence on them developing that in their personalities too.

When I set up my ladies group, I did it because there are lots of people who are lonely, for many different reasons. There are ladies who are new to the area/country, who are divorced and have lost their friends, who’s partners are not keen on socialising, who have been ill and lost friends in the process, who’s partners are deceased, who are taking care of relatives, escaping domestic violence. Many reasons.

To offer them a safe group, where they feel welcomed, where they can just chat over a coffee, matters. It matters to them. And I am so glad that I have been able to provide this. I’ve weeded out a few shitty people, which means the group is lovely. And going so well. And I enjoy their company too.

So, to see my teenage son, understand this is caring about people, matters. To know they see me, doing something that benefits others and not just myself, matters. Especially in this increasingly egocentric, selfish, narcissistic world we live in.

Articles about empaths, that are very accurate for me.

10 Things You Notice Near An Empath

~ Aime – The Burned Hand

10 Things You Notice Near an Empath

10 Things You Notice Near an Empath:

1. Please take what we say seriously.  If you ask us for advice, even if it sounds crazy, there is some truth in it.  We just know things and it bothers the heck out of us when you ask us for advice and don’t listen.  Sometimes things makes sense to us long before they make sense to you…and that includes “coincidences” that aren’t really a coincidence at all.
2. Lies have no place in any conversation with us ever.  The surest way to ruin a friendship with an empath is to continue lying to them.  It’s just sad really because there is no point and it has been really painful for me personally.  I have had to look into the eyes of a close friend and see the hesitation for a split second and I literally felt the lie as it slipped over my skin.  I can’t explain it and I don’t want to.  It is one of my most uncomfortable traits to not be able to turn off.
3. Any national tragedy is unbearable…no matter how far away.  I wrote a post after Sandy Hook Elementary School was in the news and to this day I can’t read about it.  Period.  I become the pain in a way I can’t explain to other people.  Plus, I was also a teacher.  I can’t “unfeel” so the less I know, the better.
4. They always look tired.  I love everyone, I do.  But stop asking me why I have dark circles under my eyes.  They have been there my whole life.  Many empaths get diagnosed with chronic fatigue because they don’t know how to shield themselves properly from energy vampires  This is a work in progress for many.
5. Healing often becomes their way of life.  My friend called me the bridge the other night.  I was like interesting.  I am the bridge.  I see what needs to be done and I just suggest it for others.  Whether it is tests, home remedies, alternative methods, exercise, nutrition, or holistic therapy suggestions, I just see it.  It is how I approached my own care and came up with my wellness program, and it is how I have helped hundreds of others.  It is my job to bridge the gap between modern medicine and what needs to be done in your body.
6. They might get distracted easily and daydream.  This is really true as I can feel some currents and go off on some other task.  This is one of the reasons I have to stay organized as best I can.
7. Living a lie would be damn near impossible.  If someone asks me to do something I don’t like…I find a way to procrastinate.  However, the procrastination might just be my intuition saying you really have to tell them no.  Likewise, when someone asks me to do anything at all like “covering up for them” or “lie for them” I have a hard time holding in my anger at this type of behavior.
8. No room for narcissism at all. I was asked to be in this group of people who were fawning all over someone.  I thought I was going to lose my shit on all of them because the guy shows how much money he has, what he drives, how many people “love” him, and it is the biggest act I have ever seen.  Things nobody has time for.  THAT.  My BS meter is way too high.
9. The love of animals is strong within us.  Most empaths love their animals as if they are furry children and would do anything for them.  Anything.  So just know that if you don’t like our animals…we know and you won’t last long around us.
10. Empaths need laughter daily.  We are connected to our bodies, sometimes.  Mostly, we are in our heads.  BUT you can help us by asking us to live in the moment with you.  To laugh.  To get out of the house if we are in hermit mood, because sometimes the world is too much for us to take.  We need to remember what it’s like to be connected.

Empaths. This describes me perfectly.

Being an empathic person, with vigilance and discernment skills, plus honesty and insight capacity, I realise… is not common.

But, this describes me perfectly.

I often know more about people, than they know about themselves.

I’ve been discerning people, their motivations, their red flags, their issues…….. since I can ever remember. And surviving my childhood, required deeper levels of these skills.

And have worked for me… to survive what was meant to destroy me.