Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


People whinging and whining here….try taking a look at what goes around the world.

A common whinge and whine with women, who are overweight and unfit, is ‘how hard it is to go to the gym and how people don’t understand that’.

I was severely abused for the first 20 years of my life and through my 30’s. I’ve had every form of abuse done to me, over prolonged periods of time. No love, no support. I’ve had PTSD all my life. Depression all my life. Anxiety all my life.

During my 20’s and 30’s – I got my butt in the gym and was healthy. I didn’t sit around complaining how hard it was, I just did it. Continue reading

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Type of humour – relates to personality/character type.

In psychology terms, a persons type of sense of humour, correlates with their personality traits;

E.g. If a person finds slapstic (think Funnist Home Videos) and sarcastic humour – very funny, this is a actually a narcissistic trait.

(I’m not saying full blown NPD, but a trait)


Because it is finding other people in pain, or uncomfortable, or something not nice happening to them – amusing.

Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, since its aim is to belittle or hurt someone, and to laugh at their expense; we associate the word “cutting” with it. On the other hand, true wit associates with the word “levity”, and boosts everyone’s spirits, being aimed at an action, a happening or an attitude..

Some say sarcasm requires intelligence, however, what they fail to realise is that it doesn’t demonstrate Emotional Intelligence. And IQ is not what makes a person a nice person. EQ, is.

Ridiculing people, is enjoying watching someone feel humiliated. Even in a humorous way. Think Big Bang Theory – constant ridiculing each other and sarcasm, and a lot of reality TV requires unhealthy traits to, to make it popular TV.

Unhealthy people like to see people get hurt, like to put others down, humiliate people.

Plus there is a level of being able to laugh at someone and get away with it. Entitlement.

There is an element of lack of empathy and the ability to feel superior over someone.

I find some parts of Funniest Home Videos okay, but I do not find the ones where someone gets hurt, or an animal gets hurt, or a baby falls off something and gets hurt etc, funny at all. Continue reading

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Appointment with my doctor went well.

Had my appt I was dreading with my doctor. My anxiety was pretty ‘up there’.

But, it went really well and we talked for two hours about some of what has been swimming around in my head and why I have been suicidal within the last 2 months.

I thanked her for emailing me while she was away, when I know she didn’t need to and she said it was because ‘you matter.’ Hearing those words, were huge, after a lifetime of not mattering to so many people and not mattering even to my friends and people around me and being ignored while feeling that low. They are powerful words ‘you matter’ and words I say to people on my community page.

She knows I am struggling and now losing my counsellor is bad timing and she said she can see me more while we get through this difficult time. So that was a huge relief.

We talked about apathy and empathy and she agreed with my observations about this and I said I am struggling to cope with all I am processing and she can help me with that.

One thing she said which I didn’t expect – was that my capacity & discernment to spot and detect narc/sociopath/psychopath/apath/egocentric behaviours/traits in people is greater than hers.

Despite having some differences of opinions about things (which is okay), she is a highly experienced, highly trained, very wise, Christian doctor/counsellor, so for her to say that, was firstly a surprise and secondly, made me realise just how deep this discernment of mine is and thirdly that I do assume things about people as a protection method. Continue reading

Rape Culture, Sexual Violence, Victim Blaming increasing why? Narcissism & Sociopaths increasing.

There are always psychological reasons for certain behaviours increasing within society.

Sexual violence, rape culture and victim blaming – are all increasing because narcissism & sociopaths are increasing.

‘Generation Me’ believes;

Anyone can do what they want

Regardless of it being right or wrong

Regardless of it hurting others

And they feel completely ‘entitled’ to do what they choose

And have no accountability for their actions.

No remorse

No empathy for their victims.

Outward blaming onto the victim e.g. she was dressed like a slut, so she was ‘asking for it’.

I have heard Christians ‘blaming’ victims, because of the way they dress and stating that a wife should not deny her husband sex.

All VERY wrong.



Society and their ‘entitlement’ to completely uneducated opinions…and resort to name calling…


It’s interesting just how many people have completed uneducated, uninformed & immature opinions on social behaviours (particularly their own) and no understanding of social sciences, personality traits, human ego, psychology, cognitive distortions, emotional intelligence etc….but feel so ‘entitled’ to have opinions anyway, and so little self insight.

It’s scary, actually. No wonder society, is so unhealthy.

You can usually spot these people, they react badly to what they don’t want to hear and reduce to name calling – which is a cognitive distortion of it’s own – labelling.

My awareness of this in society, plus my knowledge of social sciences, psychology, cognitive distortions, human ego, and having had a life where I have been studying this in depth, and now have increasing knowledge of psychology ad social sciences, mean I see all the human issues, so blatantly now.

Yes, I have strong opinions, but they are educated, researched, informed, insightful opinions. I don’t have strong opinions about things I don’t know about. But humanity and social behaviours, I do know a fair amount about.

Got called a ‘muppet’ today, by some poor guy that didn’t like my opinion of Tony Abbott having an inflated ego, and my empathy for the families of the missing plane – and how they should not release info about possible info about the planes whereabouts, because it must be terrible for the families concerned – which is my empathy for them. Continue reading

Gratitude, not entitlement, is what this society needs


Lately, I have been increasingly aware of the need for gratitude, and not entitlement, greed and complaining, about things that we are blessed with.

Like the public health system, welfare system, public education system, public/social housing etc.

Some thing I find very sad in society, which I saw a lot of in the UK, whilst working on social housing, is the amount of young women, who get pregnant and then live on benefits, and are still not thankful for what they have.

Now, I am not saying they are bad people at all, but this is very indicative of the state of our highly entitled, lack of owning responsibilities society we are becoming. Parents don’t teach their children, what they need to do in life, to look after themselves and provide for themselves. Parents all too often are teaching their children, entitlement.

A woman, who gets pregnant, at 18, never worked, not in a committed relationship, then demands public housing, welfare and complains they don’t have enough to live on. Continue reading