Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Mindful, of not needing my existence, to be dependent on validation/acceptance of others.

We all need validation from those around us. It is a basic human need to feel loved, cherished, wanted and validated as to who we are as person.

For those of us, who have never found this, or had such huge trust issues that we cant’ accept this (it can be both), this can feel even more of a search and need.

I was chatting with an amazingly intelligent and gifted mental health survivor recently. He has severe mental health issues, but is also incredible intelligent and has had huge success with his first book. He is very honest that he needs this connection with others, to feel this validation, and to be a success. I know he had an abusive childhood, with severe abuse, including sexual abuse. Continue reading


“So you are back to where you were at the beginning of therapy” Yep – I’ve failed.

When I struggled to explain how bad things are for me at the moment, in counselling, this is what was said in response. It upset me as it was said, and has bothered me since.

I don’t really know what I am supposed to think about this, other than assume, it is a comment to show, how far I have fallen and I am failing in my healing, to be back to where I was.

Yep, I am a big fat failure.

I guess I had a time frame to heal, to show I am strong, and anything outside of that, is assumed to be I am choosing to not heal, ‘choosing’ to hold on to my trauma. The whole ‘curse, rehearse, nurse’.

I guess my continual nightmares are all deliberate and a choice too.

I’m just not good enough. Not strong enough. Not worthy of being considered as anything now other than a failure, to be pitied.

No-one wants to heal, more than I do, and I have NEVER played the victim, my husband knows that. He knew me for 12 years before my breakdown in 2012. He knows how strong I was, how I never talked about my past, how hard I worked, my attitude to life.

I am already struggling myself, to know how badly I have been doing this last few months and dealing with the shame of that and already feeling a failure.

I don’t really need anything being said that makes that worse.

It’s really hurtful and really invalidating.