Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


My folio and application were accepted for the photography course :D

I am SO happy to know my application was accepted!

I am so excited to start a new part of my life, and it be something so nice, lovely, healthy, fun, creative and a passion of mine.

This is all part of my journey and my healing. Finding an area of life – not about trauma, not about abuse, not about anything horrible.

I am so thankful to have been accepted, because I really did not believe my 15 photos needed in my folio, would be good enough.

But, they are good enough! Continue reading

Today, was a good day, considering how my days normally go…


Good days need to be acknowledged, appreciated, and they matter. They really matter.

I went out…..and any day where I get out of the house willingly, without too much anxiety and with a desire to do something good….is a pretty good day.

I bought myself a latte and a magazine and chilled in a fairly quiet coffee shop. Then bought some crafty stuff and inner child stuff. Anxiety wasn’t too bad in the shopping centre and my hives made no appearance, so that was nice.

Had fun with my son, making puppets, chatting and doing what he loves, while taking care of my inner child needs too.

And my mood has remained fairly level, not turning into a ‘high’, or descending into depression…

So, based upon how I feel most of the time……this is a really good day! Even my husband commented that I seemed in a better state of mind.

I haven’t felt emotional, or upset, or thought much about trauma stuff. My mother came into my head today a few times, and I just decided I was not giving that/her headspace today. I guess mindfulness capacity kicked in today, which is also very hard for me. But when I can do it, I do it. Continue reading


Bike ride, ocean, fun, silly selfies, coffee…..oh and yes, the damn hives…. :)

Today, I mustered up the energy to get out on my bike, so hubby and I went out, to a place where we could cycle easily, alongside the ocean.

It was a beautiful winter day, still warm, blue sky, ocean, fresh air…..lovely! 🙂

Of course, the hives were there, they are 95% of the time I go out of my house now, but the good part was, because I am not totally confident cycling yet, I didn’t want to let go of the handle bars, to scratch the damn things.

*Must remember to take anti-histamines before I go out again.

It was really lovely and I was really knackered! I am sooooo unfit.

We stopped for a rest….after about 20 minutes…..yes that is how unfit I am…..and decided to have a little narcissistic selfie (lol) moment and took some photos, including one of me being silly and ‘photo bombing’ a pic of my husband. It was silly, harmless fun and we enjoyed it! 😀

I unleashed my inner child and it felt good 🙂

Stopped later on…..after all 5km’s…….yes pathetic and that was all I managed……because I am soooo unfit……and had a coffee and some water.

This was our view 🙂

I cherish the good times, but don’t minimize the pain of the bad times.

When I feel really low, I don’t minimize that, but I do look at pictures of recent times, when I did feel real joy, happiness and fun, which is always when I am with my children. Their joy, is my joy. Their smiles, their laughter, their silliness, their gorgeousness – is my joy.

These are a few of the pics I look at, to remember that no matter how bad it gets, there is always good to come, and it is worth it.


My 5yr old, is so grounding….he reminds me of the beautiful, good, little, free things in life.



My 5 yr old, is a delightful little boy, very happy, kind, calm, cute, inquisitive, well behaved, chatty, very bright little boy.

He has a very cherub like face, with his chubby cheeks, and huge bright blue eyes, blonde hair and that sparkle in his eyes and his face lights up when he talks about things with passion, and excitement, as he often does.

He delights, in all the little things in life, truly enjoying them and being happy with them, not wanting more like we do as we get older. He’s grateful and joyous with what he has. What he has is enough. He’s always thanking God for everything too, which gets me right in my heart.

He’s always giving me things, like little weeds, leaves, rocks, stones, feathers and encourage this, and I always take delight in anything he gives me, and never tire of it, because I encourage my children’s sense of giving and a weed, or stone, is all little kids have to give and it is special to them. So, it’s special to me. Continue reading

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Fun & laughter at putt putt golf and a bruised butt!


It was my youngest son’s Birthday a few weeks back, and he wanted to go to putt putt golf as his main gift. He is sport and ball obsessed, bless him.

So, we went tonight to a really good one near the city, that we haven’t been to before. We got there about 6.30pm, because our sons wanted to go in the evening, because it’s floodlit, and because being kids, they think that is more special.

We had so much fun, my youngest had a ball (literally), lots of laughter and excitement, as 5yr olds do. he was so delighted.

Our other son, was very happy too, loved it and was delighted to get the only hole-in-one, which he of course had to tease his dad about, who is a golfer haha!

My highlight, was falling backwards, on a rock, in slow motion, with my arms flapping, my legs then in the air, and bruising my butt and hand. My medication I take, definitely affects several things, including my blood pressure and I normally have excellent balance, but not any more.

It looked a bit like this – only a woman – in a skirt!


But, it was really funny, and I can really laugh at myself, so I started laughing immediately, whilst clutching my poor butt, and trying to scramble back up and pull my skirt down. Everyone was laughing! Continue reading