Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


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Turning hypervigilance into discernment, is healing ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

Hypervigilance, is fear based. It is based upon the fear that people are not what they seem, and will hurt you, or be harmful in some way. The traumatised brain goes into panic when it senses someone may pose a threat to our wellbeing.

Hypervigilance, is very understandable, when someone has experienced ongoing abuse, where they believed their life or safety to be at imminent risk. It is a skill that was required to stay safe.

Part of healing complex trauma, is to turn the hypervigilance of the fear of people and the need to work them out for any sign of potential harm….. into careful and steady discernment. Discernment is healthy and a deeper skill than many people do not normally have.

Discernment allows us to calmly work out people’s motivations and behaviours…. without the fear of hypervigilance, that makes us shut down, withdraw or isolate.

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Discernment allows us to accurately read people and then in a calm manner – decide on the actions we may need to take, and the boundaries we may need as a result.

I am adding to this blog, following a question about how we actually develop discernment. This was my response….

Discernment starts by having self control and impulse control. When we sense something is potentially wrong, we have to stop, sit back, not act and think about it. It requires not having fear based processing/reactions. We also learn to consider people’s words, actions, patterns. If words and actions conflict. Watch how people treat others. Do they treat others well? Also understanding selfish and unselfish behaviours. The motivation behind people’s behaviours. It is a skill set that takes the capacity to really understand human behaviour.

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Feeling safe, is one of the greatest needs, of complex trauma survivors ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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Safety – one of the greatest needs of a complex trauma survivor.

Through my healing journey I have addressed this, by developing an awareness of people’s behaviour and working out what are normal issues people have (no person is perfect – including me), and what are red flags of toxic behaviour – I need to avoid.

I am very aware of my capacity and intuition for detecting toxic behaviours.

In my healing, I have turned my hypervigilance about people, into discernment.

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I wish I didn’t have discernment and vigilance, to see so much dishonesty.

Due to due my life, my mind is continually in a switched on state of vigilance and coupled with discernment, means I take everything in and work people out.

It makes my life hard. I see issues in people and where they have little self insight and are deluded.

I see when people are saying one thing….but actually doing another.

I see when people are deluding themselves into doing something for others…but really it is for themselves.

I see when people are justifying things to themselves, excusing their behaviour, have ego driven needs and many other issues.

I see so much dishonesty, whether intentional or non intentional, and it always makes me feel deeply uncomfortable.

And not because I think that makes

everyone bad, I don’t at all,

but because if they are lying

to themselves,

then they are lying to me.

And I can’t cope with that. I’ve had so many people hurt me due to lies. It scares me. It frightens me. It makes me even more vigilant around that person, and everything they say is analysed and considered. Continue reading


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The ‘I think I’m paranoid’ – was hypervigilance after all…

I always knew I saw and thought a lot more than most around me. I’ve been told numerous times in my life I was paranoid. So, I stopped talking about what I saw.

Now I know, I did indeed see a lot more about people’s behaviour than anyone around me. I already knew how to work out people.

It’s now deep discernment and those that don’t have that capacity won’t ‘get it’ and label it paranoia…rejecting what they don’t know.