Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


My Inner Child Is Grieving – So I Bought Her This Cute Ballerina Unicorn ~ Lilly Hope Lucario



My inner child – is grieving.

My mother died and I recently realised I had to stop seeing my counsellor as a mother figure.

My mother dying has brought up a lot of horrible memories and emotions.

My inner child is having a very time over the stuff with my counsellor.

I feel like the 46 year old me – who is now grieving my entire life – is over everything and just wants to shut down and deal with everything alone.

And the inner child in me is desperately crying nooooooooooo….. don’t take away the only person who has acted in any way like a mother to me. I know my inner child wants to cling onto my counsellor with all her strength and might.

It’s all very confusing. And emotional. And painful.

It’s interesting – whenever I post about inner child healing, it always makes a powerful difference for others. Which is good. I know I risk ridicule and judgment when I post about having a terribly hurt inner child and buying soft toys etc. But, I share that very vulnerable part of me, because I know others feel the same pain and confusion I do. And when people see me doing my inner child stuff – it allows them to do the same with no fear of judgment from me.

I’ve only had my Instagram 2 months and I already have over 2000 followers, so I was unsure of the reaction I would receive about posting this pic of my unicorn. But, it received a really good reaction and in fact is the post with the most amount of comments.

It has a similar reaction on Twitter – with some people also feeling safe to post pics of their soft/plush toys that helps them.

I’m brave enough to post about my vulnerability, if it helps others.

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My Inner Child’s Favourite Mug :)

I bought this mug the other day, as a little giggle to myself.

I (and my inner child) love fairies, unicorns etc. And I’ve known far too many vile human beings.

So this mug, is very appropriate. Especially for my inner child.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario



Alternative health ‘practitioners’ need to be banned from treating children.


I am a child advocate. I advocate for the right and needs of children, to be treated appropriately and with respect.

This includes all their health needs.

Far too many of these alternative health people, who are not registered, are not doctors, are harming children.

Parents are often not discerning enough and need to realise, they are not front line health providers, even though many pretend to be.

I believe there needs to be a complete legal ban, on all alternative health providers, treating children.

Adults can do as they wish to themselves, but children need to be protected under law. Because all too often parents fail to provide appropriately. Continue reading

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Going to make a fairy garden :)

I have decided to make a fairy garden, to put on the little deck my husband has built, near our pool.

Going to make a decent sized one, in a purple tub I have. Have a little area with water in it, and a little bridge going over it. Some little plants and some fairies, butterflies, toadstools, frogs and a little house etc.

I feel delight in thinking of doing this, which I know is my inner child’s delight.

As a child, I really wanted fairies to be real….so I could have someone to talk to.

Well, now I am going to make a fairy garden, which will be the closest to real.

My sons will enjoy it too, even though my 12 year old will adamantly deny that of course and say he ‘only finds it cute’ for his 5 year old brother 🙂



Grieving the family I never had….and never will.


Unless you are someone who didn’t have any family that were ‘good enough’ as family members and were very abusive…..then you don’t know the pain of grieving the family you never had…and never will.

I have a huge gaping, hole in my soul,

where family were meant to be.

I know this will never be filled…..as I will never have this family (parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins etc) and I have accepted this very painful understanding.

I don’t feel grieving all the time, but when I do….it swells up as huge waves of dark painful grieving, washing over me with force, knocking me to my knees. Tears and crushing pain in my chest.


I wonder if I will ever not have these grieving waves.

I know the fear I feel as this occurs, is my inner child….and I try to soothe and comfort myself and her. But, I know her tears have to flow, as with my adult self.



My inner child area I keep all her things and my beloved rag dolls :)

My rag dolls Milly & Molly, who I adore, and cuddle when I am sad and feel scared, and go to bed with me, when needed.


My fairies and girly things I have bought, collected and made.


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Poem – My Hurt Little Me ~ by Lilly Hope Lucario


Poem – My Hurt Little Me

My hurt little me

Hiding deep within

Scared to come out

So scared of more harm


She has endured so much

My hurt little girl

Abandoned, unloved

Abused, never safe


Trusting no-one

Not even adult me

I scolded her often

Repeating the harm

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My inner child loves these two pages and their posters….they are so cute!



Some of their posters…


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Inner child’s faces :)

When I realise I am wrong about something!


When someone doesn’t like me and I don’t know why.


When someone is mean to me.


When I’m being stubborn..


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