Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Perfect, Or Honest?



People’s true motivations & integrity, matter the most to me ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

Being someone who has seen the real motivations, behind so many fake facades, and seen true evil in action…….. motivations matters to me.


Every heinous person, who has abused me, had a fake façade they hid behind. Most heinous people, don’t show everyone the dark person they truly are. They hide that behind a very manipulative image, of someone who is far better than they really are.

Many people get duped by this façade. Many heinous people are experts at manipulation, and they fool many. Including mental health professionals – who you would think, would know how to spot manipulators.

When thinking about this, I remind myself, that even one of the world’s leading experts in psychopaths, admits he was fooled and manipulated by them. So, any mental health professional, who believes they would not be duped, are delusional.

Every single person I have known, who has been a toxic, character disordered person, has pretended to be better than they really are. They even delude themselves, they are a better person, that they truly are.

It is true that some heinous people actually do admit what they are. But, most don’t.

Their level of integrity – to show who they truly are, and be up front and honest – is zero.

And integrity and the honesty that requires…. matters to me.

Having been abused by psychopaths, sociopaths, narcissists, sex offenders, child abusers, paedophiles…….. I have considerable experience, in seeing their fake images, at work. Continue reading

I don’t exploit people, for my own needs ~ Lilly Hope Lucario


Exploiting people for own gain, is something that I see clearly occurs, in many different ways.

People with little conscience and little integrity, exploit others. They will turn a blind eye to people’s harmful issues/messages and continue to stay connected, for their own needs.

I am not an exploitative person.

I don’t turn a blind eye to issues that I know will hurt and impact others.

I have a conscience, and empathy.

And I am completely secure in my understanding of this. Continue reading

Honesty & Transparency – Vital To Complex Trauma Survivors

Being as open as I am about my journey, is something I know is needed for complex trauma survivors. We need honesty. We need transparency. We need integrity.

I recently shared this blog post, in which I wrote about being wrong, apologising and learning from my behaviours. Something many people seem to find very difficult.


It is interesting the responses I receive from these types of posts. I am always glad people can see the honesty and how that helps people to understand themselves more, why we have fears and how they affect us. And that it’s okay for people to say they do this too. It makes them feel safe to express their own issues.

This was a comment I received on Facebook, about the blog.


Continue reading


I don’t know if it is a gift or a curse, to have discernment. And a conscience.

I learned discernment young. I needed to – to survive so much ongoing daily abuse, from highly abusive people, who were all around me.

Hypervigilance, can be very accurate discernment.

It’s interesting how many people failed to work out a sociopath, who has now been proven to have been faking PTSD, terminal cancer, eating disorders, being in combat, being in the SAS…. and who is a highly abusive man.

I worked him out fast. Yet 1000’s of people didn’t. Even his own admins, after I told them, didn’t see it, until he started abusing them. They ignored my warning and joined in with his cyber abuse. His own NFP PTSD org workers, didn’t see it. His own partners didn’t see it, until the relationship ended.

Yet, I picked up on it very quickly. Within weeks of seeing his PTSD Facebook page, I knew he was a fraud.

It’s this way with other people too. I detect narcissists, sociopaths etc, quickly. Because I grew up with them. I know their traits and how to be vigilant about the red flags.

I also hate seeing people conned and lied to by them. My conscience does not let me just ignore the abuse others are and will be enduring. I am aware people ignored the abuse I have endured, and failed to help me. I have always vowed never to be like them. But, instead be a person of compassion, have empathy for current and future victims. Speak up with courage and help people. Not ignore them. Like I was ignored by all the people who failed me.

So, I speak up. As I have done for over 2 years with he PTSD/cancer etc fraud.

As I did with the narcissist pastor and wife.

I feel guilty if I don’t warn people. I worry about the lies and fraud they are being subjected to. It plays on my mind.

Recently, coming to detect 2 narcissists, I have not spoken up to all those being affected. Because I know it will be ignored. I don’t know the people well enough to speak up. But, I still worry in the back on mind, about the lies people are swallowing. How they are being used for the narcissists own needs.

But, I do realise not every situation where a narcissist, is manipulating people and lying to them, is my responsibility to deal with. Some people have to figure it out by themselves. Sadly. Continue reading


When people use narcissists, for their own self serving needs.

I’ve seen this occur recently and it is something that I cannot do. I have more integrity and conscience, than to use someone’s narcissism, to my advantage.

It has been an interesting time, sitting back and watching how people behave. Having come to know someone is clearly a narcissist, I’ve watched some of the people around her, and their own self serving behaviours.

This particular narcissist, wants to be in full control of a group of people, and it really is a circus type situation, with the narc as the ring master and the monkeys all around.

Some said monkeys are happy to allow the narc to be in control, because it suits them to not have to organise things in the group. So despite knowing the narc is a liar and deeply selfish and harmful, they are allowing her  control issues to continue in her ringmaster role…. for as long as it suits them. They don’t like her and simply tolerate her, for their own needs. Which is also narcissism. Of course, they justify and rationalise it, but I see straight through that.

It’s like narcissistic people, using other narcissistic people. And none have any integrity to what is right, what is healthy. They are just all self serving and doing what’s best for themselves.

I have far too much integrity to participate in this. I won’t use a narc for my own advantage – even though I easily could if I wanted.

It is isn’t in the narcs best interests, to use them…. and in the process enable them and condone their behaviour. So, the reality is, I actually have more compassion for the narc in not using them for my own needs, than those who are. Continue reading