Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

I don’t understand people neeeding justice, to heal.

I’ve heard many victims of abuse saying they need justice to be brought against their abuser(s), to have healing.

I don’t understand this.

For me, the only reason why I believe abusers need to be dealt with appropriately, is to expose them, so those who need to know, know what they have done, and also to try to reduce the possibility of the abuser, abusing again.

I don’t need ‘justice’ to heal. Because to be quite frank, nothing that happens to them, takes away what they did to me, or takes away the deep core wounds, or my memories.

My motivation for bringing an abuser to justice, isn’t about me.

And I’m unsure as to whether this is the right way to think about this.

Or whether I just don’t care about myself enough, to believe justice needs to be brought about, for my needs, to know they had their consequences to what they did to me, because what they did to me, does need punishing.

There are some who will say the former and some the latter.

I just don’t feel the need for punishment for some kind of retribution. This is probably why I also don’t agree with vigilante groups, or¬†offenders being targeted in prisons etc. Continue reading


Teaching my sons empathy & compassion and how bullying is never okay.


As I am so acutely aware of the emotional neglect many parents unknowingly cause, by not teaching their children empathy and compassion, I talk with my children and model this for them.

I also model how to not put up with abuse and have resilience – because I did not learn these at all. I only (thankfully) learned how to care, protect, have empathy, love as a child, because I was the caretaker for my sisters and my mother.

My son has shown some true empathy and compassion for school friends and he has done this again recently. I nearly cried when he told me this today.

The school he goes to have a lot of bullies, that have all come from the junior school he went to previously, where he was bullied. We had the change to a different junior school when he was 8, which made a huge positive difference to him. So this school that has a lot of bullying, now have all fed through to the high school.

One boy, my son told me, gets bullied every day. This boy has anger issues, and has no friends and is a bit ‘weird’, my son told me a few weeks back. I talked with him about how some kids do have anger issues and there may be reasons for that. We also talked about how this does not give anyone the right to bully and tease him. My son said he felt sorry for this boy.

Today, this boy was being bullied by a heap of these bullies and a teacher intervened and comforted this boy and sorted it out.

Later on in the day, my son went up to this boy and said to him that all those kids were just bullies and mean and that if he was ever having problems, to come and find him (my son) and he would help him. The boy was so happy.

I was so proud of my son for again showing such empathy and compassion, which is hard at 11yrs old. And for recognising how all these bullies, are doing the wrong thing and to not ever get involved in what they are doing.
We talked more about how just because someone is different – doesn’t ever mean bullying them is okay.

My son is also aware that being a ‘cool’ kids, is not a necessity and that being a cool kid, is usually involving bullying and being mean. He sees this clearly in these kids from the school that he was bullied at.

We also talk about how Jesus never bullied anyone and doesn’t want bullying and that He is a our greatest role model and my son knows this too.

My son is not perfect by any means, he is driving me nuts at the moment with his ‘back-chatting’ and the attitude he can sometimes have, which I am aware is his age development and the pre-teenager stuff with hormones starting to kick in.

But, my son is a good kid with a good heart and he has empathy and compassion and a willingness to do things to help others, without being asked.

Children need to be taught many things, and empathy, compassion, resilience, tolerance, what is appropriate and what isn’t, how any bullying is never okay, how being ‘cool’ isn’t the be-all-and-end-all – are all things I am aware of they need to be taught, that I see parents often fail to teach.

I am proud of my children.

I believe in WISDOM, when it comes to protecting our children. Not cheap grace.

I am a Christian, this does not mean I support ‘cheap grace’ as many Christians do.

I believe in wisdom.

And our children’s protection, being paramount.

Please support Bravehearts, if you are Australian. Their work, is much needed.

bravehearts logo

Amazing organisation, committed and tirelessly working, to make Australia a safer place for our children.

Please consider donating to them, if you are able.

Our laws, legislation, legal system and system for dealing with paedophiles, sex offenders, child rapists etc, are shockingly poor.

It is organisations like Bravehearts, that are making a difference, in putting pressure on this system being improved, for the rights of children, to live in safety and reduce the amount of child abuse.

Let’s not be apathetic about child abuse – LETS MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

A lot of more dramatic opinions about psychopath predator paedophile child killer, than mine.

Due to all the media about Brett Peter Cowan, a lot of people – quite rightly – have a lot to say – the internet and social media are full of it.

I pray Daniel Morcombe’s death will lead to stronger child protection laws, I really do.

Hetty Johnston – Bravehearts – stated he should never have been allowed out of prison after the other violent attacks on children, Daniel died because the system failed and Cowan should rot in prison for the rest of his natural life. I agree.

Other views, range from apathetic – don’t care – the worst views.

Others are death penalty, cut his penis off with a rusty knife, deliberately let him get raped and killed by other prison inmates, kill him – why should we pay for him to be in prison, slow horrible torturous death, let dogs rip him apart the way he left Daniel to be ripped apart…..and so many more.

I don’t actually agree with any of these. Even at my most emotional – I don’t think these thoughts. I’ve never thought these things about any of my abusers.

I’m not saying people are bad to think these thoughts. Child rape, violence on children and child murder and people like Cowan are highly emotional subjects.

But, people think I am angry, I am unreasonable, I am irrational, I am clouded by my pst experiences of psychopaths and paedophiles.

I believe he should have not been let out of prison after the first violent attacks, I don’t believe sex offender programs work, I believe he needs to be in prison, ding some hard labour. But still have access to food, water, a bed.

I have and continue to display, greater rational thought, than many other people. I do not have nice thoughts about these people, I do not feel sorry for them. They made choices to do what they did and their acts were evil and their lack of empathy, lack of humanity, is evil.

But, I believe in grace – appropriate grace, not cheap grace – let him off with no consequences, when he has no remorse. I believe in appropriate consequences, for actions. He deserves prison for life, and did prior to Daniel’s murder.

This is all God requires form me – in relations to appropriate grace, mercy and compassion.

I don’t believe he should be killed. He needs the opportunity to seek Jesus, and I won’t deny him that – but that can and should be done from within prison.

I don’t believe he should be tortured and raped and murdered – I don’t believe in an ‘eye for an eye’. I don’t believe in repaying evil for evil. Continue reading

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The Bible speaks of apathy – as I knew it would. Because apathy is the glove into which evil slips it’s hand.


(KJV) Revelation 3:16 – So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth.

There are many others and I see so very clearly how apathy – particularly spiritual apathy, apathy to help others, is so wrong and those that know this is wrong, must be careful, to remember this.

Apathy is exactly what Satan wants. To not care about sin – there is no better result for Satan.

I dislike apathy and feel very strongly about this – for a reason. I know this comes from God, to motivate me, to do what is needed.

Sin, bothers me. My own sin bothers me. It makes me uneasy, it unsettles my soul – and that is actually good. Continue reading

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When will society realise – paedophiles CANNOT be rehabilitated.


The violent history of Brett Peter Cowan, has now been released, after his guilty verdict for killing Daniel Morcombe.

Cowan, had a violent long term history, that started before he was an adult.

He put one child, in intensive care due to his violent attack.

When he ‘manipulated’ the legal system, by saying/lying that he knew he had a problem and would seek help – he got a lighter sentence for his last violent attack on a child.

And our wonderful legal system, bought this manipulation and let him out of jail – to do it again. As they do, over and over.

Was Cowan rehabilitated by the rehabilitation program – NO HE WAS NOT!

And every time, they hurt another child, society has let that child down, because it could have been prevented.

Justice will not be served…..


This is the problem with apathy, and narcissism, it enables injustice and suffering to continue.

And apathy and narcissism, are increasing and will continue to.

Which means, there will be less and less justice, and increased harm and suffering in this world.

Which makes me very sad and I grieve this understanding.