Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


Exposing an abuser and taking legal action….is actually in the abusers best interests.

I know abuse is increasing. I’ve done my research. I know a lot about why. I know a lot about abusive types of people.

Abuse, is evil. I don’t tolerate abuse. I don’t condone abuse. I don’t enable abuse. This is more evil.

This does *not* mean I do not have compassion for the reasons abusers, abuse.

I have blogged about my compassion for abusers, their mental health issues, and how I wish I could change them, heal them,  for ‘their’ sakes, as well as their victims.

But, that isn’t reality, and I know the reality, that abusers – abuse and abuse is increasing and this is not okay.

I believe in exposing abusers. Not for revenge. Not for retribution. But to help stop abuse from continuing, because for those with those certain personality disorders/traits and disorders like paedophilia, they will continue abusing. And only a fool, trusts them to stop.

I believe in going to the police and legal action being taken. Because, it is necessary to try to stop abusers, make them face their actions, to inform those, who need to know – especially the police, to have the information necessary to deal with it legally and as appropriately, as possible.

This is not about lack of forgiveness. Some will try to say it is.

Forgiveness – is never meant to be about ignoring abuse,

and avoiding dealing with it appropriately.

And forgiveness is not about blindly trusting them to stop.

Or accepting, what you know is a false apology.

Forgiveness, is not about cheap grace.   

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Invalidation, burns at the core.

I’ve lived with deep invalidation of all I have endured, all my life.

My own mother started this. Allowing me to be abused, abusing me herself, and not caring, denying, not allowing me to complain. Allowing others to believe I was a drama queen. Never allowed my emotions. Never allowed to say this pain, all this abuse was not okay, never allowed to say I didn’t deserve it.

Heard many times, this was all my own fault. I deserved it. I didn’t deserve any better.

At 20, there was a court case and after all I had been through, at the hands of what the police described as a sadistic psychopath and such severe abuse of every type for a period of years, his jail time was pathetic and a huge invalidation of all I had endured.

All this invalidation continued all my life from my family.

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Been researching slander, and that sure is what has happened to me, by N. P. Baptist Church

slan·der [slan-der]
defamation; calumny: rumors full of slander.
a malicious, false, and defamatory statement or report: a slander against his good name.
Law. defamation by oral utterance rather than by writing, pictures, etc.
verb (used with object)
to utter slander against; defame.
verb (used without object)
to utter or circulate slander.

I have been lied about, by a pastor – A. Allinson and his wife at this church. The pastor being the one who abused me.

I have proof of this, in writing. It was admitted in front of other witnesses, by his wife, that this pastor lies. The excuse made that ‘everyone lies’.

These people have lied; by omission, by telling half truths, and by allowing others to think the wrong thing about me – which is all forms of lying.

This is emotional abuse and it is slander. Continue reading