Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


Convicted sex offender/paedophile legally allowed to keep surrogate baby.



Well, actually it is believable and a true indication of our sick and unhealthy society – that allows our most vulnerable citizens – children – to be so unsafe.

This is paedophile/sex offender rights – being more important the safety, wellbeing and rights of children.

This is perpetrator protecting/enabling – clearly on display.

This is neglect, abuse and shows how fucked up our society, legal systems are.

This ‘man’ and his wife, abandoned the twin due to downs syndrome. But, at least she is safer.

Paedophiles and repeat sex offenders cannot be rehabilitated – there is more evidence of that now, than any that says they can.

This little girl – legally allowed to remain in the care of a known, convicted sex offender/paedophile – who committed a ‘string of sexual offences (they are just the ones he was caught for) – will be unsafe every day of her life now, until she leaves home.

I hate this fucked up society in which I have to reside.

I have already blogged about this – the legal system benefits the accused, not the victims.

“The legal system is designed to protect men from the superior power of the state but not to protect women or children from the superior power of men.

It therefore provides strong guarantees for the rights of the accused but essentially no guarantees for the rights of the victim.

If one set out by design to devise a system for provoking intrusive post-traumatic symptoms, one could not do better than a court of law.”

Judith Lewis Herman, Trauma and Recovery 

I have also blogged about how I am so sick of hearing about the ‘rights and needs’ of the abusers.

And not having rights and needs, as a victim of their abuse.

I wrote this in a previous blog…


“It’s always about the abusers. Their rights. Their legal rights. Their human rights. Their mental health. Their issues. Their problems. Their past. How they must be forgiven. How they must receive compassion. How they couldn’t help it. How they didn’t understand what they were doing. How they are hurting inside. How society unfairly judges them. How we must not label them. How we must pray for them. How we must forgive them. The list is endless.

And ‘I’ am the bad person, if I don’t.

More shame, more guilt, more emotional (and spiritual) abuse.

Only from those who I need to help me.

Again.” Continue reading


Oscar Pistorius gets not guilty for murder….another psychopath who ‘got away with it’?

Neighbour heard ‘blood curdling screams’ before the shots were fired.

Text messages showed the victim was scared of him and how he ‘snaps’ at her.

Evidence of his controlling behaviour over the now deceased.

Already committed other offences with a gun.

All hallmarks of a psychopath.

No, I wasn’t at the trial.

But, I do know how it takes very little to persuade a not guilty verdict, and expensive lawyers – often psychopaths themselves – achieve not guilty verdicts for other psychopaths all the time.

Lawyer – being the 2nd of the list of top careers psychopaths are drawn to. Judges are often psychopaths too, for this very same reason. And they can be paid off. I’m not suggesting the presiding judge in this case was. But, I’m not saying it isn’t a possibility in any case, especially the high profile, rich people, cases. Continue reading

Been researching slander, and that sure is what has happened to me, by N. P. Baptist Church

slan·der [slan-der]
defamation; calumny: rumors full of slander.
a malicious, false, and defamatory statement or report: a slander against his good name.
Law. defamation by oral utterance rather than by writing, pictures, etc.
verb (used with object)
to utter slander against; defame.
verb (used without object)
to utter or circulate slander.

I have been lied about, by a pastor – A. Allinson and his wife at this church. The pastor being the one who abused me.

I have proof of this, in writing. It was admitted in front of other witnesses, by his wife, that this pastor lies. The excuse made that ‘everyone lies’.

These people have lied; by omission, by telling half truths, and by allowing others to think the wrong thing about me – which is all forms of lying.

This is emotional abuse and it is slander. Continue reading

Yes, we are free to choose, we have free will, but….

Everyone talks about how they have a ‘right’, or they are entitled to their ‘opinion’….but how often do people own the full responsibilities of their actions?

I am about to have further legal advice, from a quality law firm, about the actions/abuse of an abusive pastor, and dealing with legal consequences to his actions, that are available. And I have support, in this.

People make mistakes, people mess up, but ‘how’ you deal with it, is important, not just for yourself, but to those harmed and to all those who are around you, especially if in a position of influence.

Lying, is abuse. It is emotional abuse. Continue reading


Man assaults paedophile who abused his 5 yr old, paedo gets legal aid, man loses home.


I hate society, I really do. I do not belong here. I do not see it through rose coloured glasses like many. The more I see and know and learn, the more I just can’t deal with all the evil I see.

In what decent healthy society, does this occur – a father – who assaults a paedophile – who has been sexually abusing his 5 yr old daughter, paedophile gets legal aid, and father of abused daughter loses his home to pay the paedophiles legal costs.

Un -fucking-believable.

How the hell is that justice? How the hell is that fair? How the hell is that allowed?

The father acted the way any normal father would.

I hate the legal systems which is so clearly set up to protect criminals more than victims of crime.

I hate that sex offenders, paedophiles, rapists etc, get more help and compassion, than their victims. Continue reading


The legal system, that enables paedophiles to re-offend.

I wrote a blog about feeling very guilty for not reporting the paedophile that abused me and my sister, to the police, once I was an adult.

A few people stated, even if I had, he probably would have done a very minimal sentence and then been let out and would continue re-offending, as 99% of them do.

And they are right.

So, really if I had reported him, it would not have helped much, in stopping other children getting hurt. Which would be my motivation, to stop other children getting hurt.

How deeply, morally wrong is it, that we have a legal system, that creates this.

Paedophiles, repeat sex offenders, repeat rapists, repeat child abusers – whatever the hell is the PC word to call them (who cares what’s PC), know they can keep on doing it, and receive very little consequences, so have no real incentive to stop.

These people are right, it would have had little effect. He has already abused two children, and I doubt very much we were the first victims.

It’s not exactly a system that encourages victims to come forward. Not unless they can afford good barristers, which of course, is only for the rich people.

Your average person, like I was, would go through all the stress of a police investigation and for what? He probably would of got a suspended sentence, or a minimal jail term, halved for ‘good behaviour’. Maybe a few months, tops.
Continue reading

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The highly unwise ‘do-gooders’ = contributing & enabling increasing child sexual abuse/violence.

I am a Christian. I do not believe in repaying evil with evil.

I do believe in wisdom and protecting the vulnerable, innocent and society. Jesus wants us to protect and look after the vulnerable and needy – which children are.

It is widely known in the psychology world, that paedophiles and sociopathic sex offenders, cannot be rehabilitated and cannot be stopped from abusing and cannot be trusted and will very likely re-offend.

In fact they have the highest rates of re-offending. Plus they increase the demand for child porn. Which is abuse. Child porn is ALWAYS abuse.

The do-gooders in this world, are nowhere to be seen when these people commit crimes, and re-offend. But when it comes to jail sentencing or parole etc, or how long they should be in prison – oh they are quick to speak up then and defend them.

This is not wisdom.

This is increasing the abuse in society.

This is enabling and encouraging them to believe their crimes/abuse is not a big deal.

It is a big deal. They ruin lives. Millions commit suicide due to being abused as children. Millions have poor quality lives because of the long term, massively impacting consequences.

There are NO studies to show any decent rate of success for rehabilitating sociopaths/paedophiles/repeat sex offenders. Continue reading


Laws, judiciary system – all set up to favour the abusers, not the victims.


We have a legal system, not a justice system.

Because innocent until proven guilty. Which is good.

Absolute proof is required. Which is often not possible.

Many lawyers want to win cases, not see justice prevail.

Lawyers often lack empathy, remorse, conscience and will do what it takes, to win.

One of top 10 careers for psychopaths – is lawyers- No 2. Scary.


Judges are all too often corrupt and increasingly are being found to be themselves, abusers. (think psychopath).

Politics become involved and money becomes a factor, and it’s too expensive to keep criminals in prison.

Continue reading