Nuggets Of Healing Posts, In April 2019 ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

 

I often write posts on my Facebook Lilly Hope Lucario account and they are a significant part of my healing. So, I thought I would post them here, to maintain a record of them and share them further with others.

Healing Is About Transformation Of Self, Not Putting On A Persona Or Identity ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

Healing is about transformation of self.
That requires us to honesty look at ourselves, our thinking, our behaviours and see how trauma has affected us.
Healing is not about putting on some ‘strong warrior survivor’ identity or persona.
Healing is about getting really real with self, and what needs to change. And continually persisting in making the changes needed, to move towards a better life. With lots of self compassion and patience, along the way.

Having a sense of humour, is vital :)

I love humour and I have a sense of humour, which has no doubt has helped me along the way, to survive.

This made me laugh, because it is so true of what I no doubt look like when trying to kill or remove big spiders, that are common here in Australia. And I can laugh at myself.

They say people with emotional intelligence – have an appropriate sense of humour.

Not the malicious bitchy type of humour some delight in……….. but healthy humour.

 

My son received an Outstanding Student award today :)

My children are having a childhood very different to mine. They are loved, cherished, supported, encouraged, protected and I try really hard to make sure all their areas of development are focussed on- including their emotional needs and teaching them emotional intelligence.

Today, my 7 year old was awarded an Outstanding Student award! 😀

Which definitely shows you can parent and help a child grow and be a ‘respectful, caring, resilient, polite, enthusiastic child, who strives to always do his best and exemplifies school values’ – without the need to hit or hurt them. I don’t hit my children and I don’t use punishment based parenting. I respect my children.

You can help a child grow to their fullest potential through modelling empathy, honesty, love, respect and gentleness.

I am really proud of my son – for all the effort and amazing qualities he has.

My husband remarked – all the virtues he was awarded for – come from the parenting I give to my children, due to my empathy and understanding of what is needed – to raise a well balanced, well behaved, respectful child.

You cannot reason, with unreasonable people ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

 

Slowly progressing with my book.

I am currently writing the first chapters for my book, which will be followed by all the blog posts (already written) I want to include. Of which many need a little re-writing and tidying up. Then I will be adding chapters on seeking professional help, myths about healing that can cause harm. Plus a load of info that has helped me and many others in this healing journey.

The book will be a healing hopeful book and as such validation, information, deeper insight, addressing the many lessor known consequences of complex trauma and (Complex) PTSD, what triggers us and why, why we feel unsafe, how to manage symptoms etc.. All lead to a better quality of life being reached. Which is what I want for everyone.

I am a great believer in ‘you can only heal, what you fully acknowledge and choose to address’.

Pics from around the garden in the beautiful Winter sunshine :)

Gardening is part of my healing journey. It is a welcome distraction from the painful trauma processing. It is grounding and helps with mindfulness.

It brings me many moments of joy.

When you are surrounded by beauty, you always have some joy in your life.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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Do not use ‘mental health advocacy’ to shame and silence an abuse survivor ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

 

I’ve had this happen to me several times. I’ve had ‘mental health advocates’ try to shame me, for speaking up about the INTENTIONAL abuse caused by pathologically personality disordered abusers – such as narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths and paedophiles.

ANY attempt to silence an abuse survivor and stop them speaking up – is toxic and comes from a toxic mind, that clearly has NO empathy for abuse survivors.

I do not tolerate being shamed any longer, for speaking up.

I am an abuse survivor advocate and a mental health advocate. Speaking the TRUTH – is always needed. And I will continue to do so.

I refuse to be silenced. I will always speak up. I will always educate others. I will always validate the suffering caused by abuse and abusers.

Personality disorders DO NOT render a person incapable of making non abusive choices.

The reason they abuse, is because they are rewarded by their abuse. The reward is – they want to hurt others and they enjoy it. With no remorse, no conscience, no willingness to stop. But they are ‘unwilling’ not ‘unable’.