Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


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I Sent A Text To My Counsellor, On Mother’s Day ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

Despite all the issues that have arisen in my counselling, and all the times when I felt hurt, my counsellor has been more of a mother to me, than my actual mother ever was. She has been so good to me, in so many ways.

I know I push the boundaries within my therapy relationship. I know I get confused as to what I am supposed to feel, think, do etc. I know I have transference issues, which I also know is normal for a child abuse survivor. And I know my feelings and emotions for her, are a one way street. But, I acknowledge that for me, those emotions and feelings are very real.

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I don’t expect her to respond, or text me back, at all. I think the mobile number she gave me, is her works mobile, which she may not even look at today. And that’s totally okay. And if she does see it, I know it is totally appropriate that she wait until my next counselling appointment, to comment about it.

I just needed to thank her, for being more of a mother to me, than my own mother. Because for me, she is a significant person in my life. A person who has shown me more compassion, than anyone else ever has. Continue reading


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I’m Going To Love & Honour My Inner Child, On Mother’s Day ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

Mother’s Day, is hard for childhood complex trauma survivors, who have suffered child abuse from the person who was meant to love, protect, cherish and nurture them the most. But, instead the ‘mother’ abused them, stealing the joy and innocence of their childhood.

This leads to a very hurt inner child. I did some inner child healing over the last few years. It was hugely beneficial to my healing process. Painful, hard, but needed.

I’m very emotional about Mother’s Day this year. I’m aware this is because I have processed the cold, hard, painful horrendous truth of the abuse from my mother, over the last year. And I am grieving and I will continue to, for however long that process is necessary. And I bear in mind, it took 18 years of my childhood of severe abuse and neglect, plus continued on into adulthood. So, the healing will take time too. You don’t get over decades of severe abuse, quickly.

I’ve read different articles on how to cope through Mother’s Day, when your mother was not the loving, cherishing person she should have been.

For me, at my point in my healing, I think I need to honour my inner child this Mother’s Day. As well as celebrate myself as a good mother, for my beautiful boys.

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I will literally talk to myself, to my inner child and remind her how beautiful she is, and how much she deserves love, protection and safety. I will tell her she is a good girl, who deserved everything good she did not have. And how she did not deserve a single second of the abuse she endured. Continue reading