Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


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I’m Glad To Have Finally Decided To Create An Ebook – I Can Promote Via All My Platforms ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

I have deliberated over how to publish my book and I’ve settled on an PDF ebook, I can promote via all my social media, this Blog and my Website.

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I considered doing it via Amazon, and I see the advantages of it being promoted on a big audience, but I also see the drawbacks other authors have encountered, of dealing with reviews, dealing with trolls leaving bad reviews, when they haven’t even read the book.

I haven’t got time to deal with that crap. I don’t have the time or the motivation, to deal with negative stuff. And I don’t need my book to become a ‘best seller’ – I just want it to reach the people who need it. I just want to know it made a difference for people. And I could always re-publish it again in the future.

My Website has a lot of traffic and I could pay to have the SEO etc increased.

This Blog – has a of traffic.

And that is all enough for me. I know the book will reach those who need it.

SOOOOO glad I have finally made this decision. Continue reading


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No You’re Not An Empath, INFJ or HSP. You’re A Narcissist

I will be writing a blog in this soon, because this is something I see occurring all too often. Narcissists are delusional about themselves, and will do anything to justify their ‘oversensitivity’ – which is in fact narcissistic sensitivity. Not empathic sensitivity.

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Is There Hope For Some Narcissistic People To Change? ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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I have blogged before, about my husband being highly narcissistic, and his family being narcissistic and dysfunctional. And that has been validated within counselling, where both myself and my husband have talked separately with my counsellor.

My husband, has been making continual effort to be a normal person, over the last few months. Our home has become far less unhealthy, as result. We are not arguing. He is not denying any of the narcissistic behaviours he has abused me with.

Today, he went to see his parents, who are visiting and staying in a local hotel. This was to explain to them the issues they have caused, with their selfish and narcissistic behaviours. And, my husband said they took it well. They even heard their ‘golden boy’ is not in fact that at all. My husband admitted to them he is a liar, hid many things from me, is manipulative and has contributed towards the breakdown I had 5 years ago. They ‘owned’ their behaviours and understood that they only see things from the place of their own needs and don’t think about the needs and feelings of others. And how I have been an amazing daughter-in-law, and they should remember that.

Now, if you had asked me 6 months ago, if I thought this would ever happen, I would have said no way!

I think I am in a bit of shock, as to how this has gone down.

After all, the consensus is, that narcissistic people don’t change. And I’m sure many don’t.

But, I do see a glimmer of hope. I’m not being foolish and assuming 100% this is all completely genuine. After all, my husband is a pathological liar. But, I know when people are not genuine and I will know when I see his parents tomorrow, just how genuine this all is. They won’t be able to fool me. Continue reading


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You Know You Are Healing From Complex Trauma – When You Don’t Internalise Toxic People’s Darkness ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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This toxic person – decided trolling a woman who has suffered so greatly, and then is grieving the death of her abusive mother – was the person to troll, abuse and harass. Which is a pretty disgusting thing for someone to do. But, that’s sadly how vile some people choose to be.

I always reflect on these situations – as to how I dealt with it and I am pleased with myself. I did not get remotely upset. I did not feel hurt or angry.

I just stepped back, looked at the actions of this toxic person, and placed the appropriate boundaries. I did not respond to her many emails. I did not react back. I’ve learned that toxic people don’t respond well to being told their actions are abusive.

And this is indeed – healing.

I no longer internalise toxic people’s darkness. That’s their shit to deal with. Continue reading


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“We Don’t Like To Get Involved In Other People’s Business” – AKA – We Are Selfish To The Core & Don’t Want To Help Others

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My in-laws are visiting at the moment. My husbands whole family are narcissistic, dysfunctional and selfish to the core.

I’ve heard the in-laws make this statement many times “We don’t like to get involved in other people’s business”. But, actually what this really is – is they are utterly selfish, care only about helping themselves, have no compassion and no empathy for others.

Along with all their other delusional beliefs, they actually choose to believe they are ‘good people’ by ‘keeping out of other people’s business’.

Which is complete BS.

I see more and more how selfish people are, and the BS they tell themselves to justify it.

My in-laws refuse to ever look after their grandchildren, refuse to help their adult children in any way, and yet think they are ‘amazing grandparents’. They are not, at all. And there is no evidence to show they are good grandparents, at all. They are completely able to help out in ways many grandparents choose to. But, they refuse to. They have never been good parents or grandparents.

It is amazing just how bizarrely deluded some people are.

Personally, I find selfish people draining and horrible to be around.

They are a waste of space on this earth.

The good people on this earth – care about others and know that…

 Compassion is a verb

– it means you make an effort to help others. And you don’t have to ‘get into people’s business to help them. It’s not an ‘all or nothing’ situation. Continue reading


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My Narcissistic & Dysfunctional In-laws Are Finally Going To Hear The Truth ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

My husband comes from a very narcissistic and dysfunctional family. None of them have any insight into that, and they truly believe they are normal and do no wrong. That is far from the truth.

My husband is highly narcissistic, his sister is a drug addict, his parents are selfish to the core and none of them have any conscience, remorse or shame about anything they do to harm others.

This has all been confirmed in counselling.

Fortunately for me and my children, all of my husbands family live the other side of the world. So we only see them when they come for a holiday.

My in-laws are here now, for a 3 week holiday. Today, is the first day we see them.

Due to counselling and confirming my husbands issues, and the way I have been treated by him and his parents, I am no longer tolerating their dysfunction, or narcissism.

Now, I am confronting it. His parents will be told their son is personality disordered, his personality did not form in a healthy way in his childhood and teenage years. They will be told their son is selfish, a pathological liar, an adulterer, emotionally abusive and never learned to own his wrong behaviours and never learned to have remorse or a conscience. And that this has all been confirmed in counselling. And depending on the way the conversations goes, I will also tell them their daughter is a drug addict.

They won’t like this, but that is their issue to deal with.  I am no longer placating toxic people and no longer enabling them. Continue reading