Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


Narcissists, Sociopaths & Psychopaths And Infidelity ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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Of all the many kinds of abuse that narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths (I will refer to them as toxic people) choose to inflict on their victims – infidelity is one.

My toxic ex (we are separated) cheated throughout his first marriage and I’ve just been told – cheated throughout ours.

Someone has let me know my ex cheated back before we moved to Australia. I’m not at all surprised. Anyone who can sexually abuse a survivor of severe sexual abuse – is capable of anything.

Infidelity is just one of the many things toxic people do – with no remorse, no conscience, no guilt, no shame, no empathy. And of course – if you confront them – they will act outraged that you would suggest such a thing about them.

My ex has no understanding of love, honesty, decency, care, integrity or anything that is found in decent human beings.

Here are some links:

https://www.psychopathfree.com/articles/why-do-narcissists-and-sociopaths-cheat.374/

https://www.health.com/mind-body/sociopath-traits

https://www.bustle.com/p/13-common-mind-games-sociopaths-play-in-everyday-life-to-watch-out-for-2975623

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/manipulative-lies-sociopath-personality-rebecca-monet

It’s interesting to recently hear friend’s opinions of my toxic ex. How difficult them found him. How he’s ignorant and shallow. Very boring and weird. And he’ll never change. He will wallow in his darkness and feeling like a victim all his life. 

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I am moving forward with my life. I’m raising my boys to be the opposite of their father. Continue reading


Not Surprised A Member Of The Narcissist Ministers’s Baptist Church – Has Reached Out To Me For Help

Recently a church member – where the abusive narcissist minister resides – reached out to me – as their church is now “fractured”.

Sadly, it doesn’t surprise me in the slightest. A fractured church is exactly what a narcissist minister will have. There will never be peace, or anything healthy – when a narcissist is in charge.

The person who reached out wanted to know what I endured and how those affected can heal.

I wrote back, explaining narcissism, how it’s not treatable, they do not change, it’s all about his ego, he doesn’t know God, his ego and character disturbed issues are his god. I also explained he would need to be ousted – for that church to heal.

In the past – I prayed for discerning people at that church – to work him out. It seems my prayers were answered. I will continue to pray for their wisdom and discernment on how to proceed. It’s not my responsibility any more. I did all I could to stop people getting hurt.

The Baptists church failed to deal with it appropriately and they have now allowed more people to get hurt. That’s on them, and the narcissist minister.

Continue reading


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Narcissists, Psychopaths etc – Love To Shit All Over Anything Good For Their Victims

I had something really exciting happen today. A photographer I love has given me the opportunity to watch her work and process sales, all through all her Christmas sessions. The amount I will learn from this is considerable. It is such an amazing opportunity for me, and one good thing happening in my life right now.

When I told my husband, his immediate reaction and look on his face was absolutely resentment. Then he made it ‘all about him’ and negative, by nastily saying, that ‘he’ might not be able to get all ‘his’ shifts sorted around ‘all these dates’. Like I was doing something wrong to ‘him’. Because in his putrid mind – it’s always ‘all about him’. And it’s complete BS, because these dates are enough in advance of the shifts being worked out. He has stated many times his shifts can be worked around any dates that family members need for work or other appointments Plus, he has stacks of annual leave he has to take.

He wanted to make this an immediate negative and make me feel badly about wanting to do this. He wanted me to feel badly about something good for me.

Interestingly, when I told him I don’t care what he needs to do – I’m doing the photography thing and he better get it sorted so he can take care of our young son, he got the time off agreed immediately, with no issues to him at all.

It  was such a clear example of what his heart and soul are truly all about. You scratch the surface and there is nothing but blackness.

He abused me for 17 years – emotionally, psychologically and sexually (all confirmed in counselling as such) – which absolutely led to my breakdown 5 years ago and now my deteriorating physical health, and yet he still resents anything good for me. And clearly has zero remorse or shame for what he has done.

Just an ongoing need to make my life worse. As he has done for 17 years.

And just to kick me more – when he’s already kicked me down – he chose to make a joke this afternoon about all the abuse he’s subjected to. He thinks abuse is funny. He wanted me to know that he thinks all the abuse he subjected me too – is funny to him.

He totally shat all over my only light in this shit life, home and environment I am forced to have to live in, because I am too ill to leave.

I’m going into hospital on Thursday – due to serious life threatening health issues – he is largely the cause of………. and he can’t be happy or even okay – for the one good thing happening in my life right now. Continue reading


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So Thankful For My Son’s Teacher Telling Me About Her Ex Being A Narcissist

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I had to talk to my youngest son’s teacher this morning, about my son leaving school early today, for an appointment with a child psychologist. I decided to explain why and that his father is narcissistic. I didn’t know how that would be received, but I needed his teacher to understand how my son is being affected.

I am SO glad I did, because she totally understood and explained her ex – the father of her daughter – is also a narcissist and she has been through hell due to him over the last 6 years. She even had to have 6 months off work, due to him making her so ill emotionally, mentally and physically. She totally understood why I am currently physically unwell and the emotional and psychological toll and impact on all the family.

She said yesterday – Fathers Day – was awful for her and her daughter was upset and it was not a good time. I explained yesterday was not good for us either.

She totally understood everything I have been going through and the effect on my children. She said she has noticed my son zoning out a bit and she also said that he is such an intelligent boy, that he would no doubt be a straight A grade student, if it weren’t for these issues at home. And I appreciated her honesty and being so understanding of how his father is affecting him. Continue reading


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Talking About The Heinous Abuse Caused By People With Personality Disorders – Is Not Increasing Mental Illness Stigma ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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Talking about the abuse, suffering and harm caused by people with personality disorders – is NOT increasing ‘mental illness stigma’.

Do not dare to try to silence abuse survivors as this is more abuse.

Personality disorders are not an excuse to abuse people.

I do not promote hate, revenge or retaliation – but I do promote the truth about how heinous their abuse is to endure.

Many victims kill themselves due to their heinous abuse. And some victims are killed by these personality disordered people.

The abuse must be discussed.

And info about these people so victims won’t be targeted again. Continue reading