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Shame shifting is abuse. There are no excuses for abuse and when a survivor is shamed by others for stating this – they are being abused again. Shame shifting goes on a lot. And I do not tolerate it. The only person who should feel shame is the abuser. – Lilly Hope Lucario 💜💜💜 . #complextrauma #ComplexPTSD #abuse #childabuse #trauma #PTSD #CPTSD #healing #lillyhopelucario #healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd. . See my bio for the link to my website and there is the link to my award winning blog.
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When someone lives in a delusional place of pretending they are a nice person – when really they are the opposite – everyone is their victim.
This includes their partners, children, family, friends, co-workers, therapist etc. Everyone.
Because every single person they are in any contact with is being lied to.
Every person does not know the real character.
Every person is being duped, conned, manipulated, lied to.
I’ve learned this well from the toxic people I have been groomed and manipulated by and seeing how they con and manipulate everyone else too.
And they truly believe they deserve no consequences and are completely okay with continuing on this manipulation. Which shows their lack of remorse, lack of conscience or desire to change.
Often people don’t know what to say to someone with Complex PTSD. As a result some say things that are harmful, invalidating and hurtful. Often unintentionally. Some avoid us, either because they don’t know what to say, or because they don’t want to deal with our pain. Some suggest we should be over this, or shame us for talking about past trauma. That increases the isolation and shame survivors often feel.
I could write an entire article on the things people have said to me, that were completely inappropriate and very hurtful. Being someone who suffers suicide ideation and suicidal thoughts, I am aware of the life threatening result of being victim shamed, invalidated and being further traumatised by other people.
So, this article is a list of things survivors of complex trauma, who have Complex PTSD, feel are helpful. It is my hope this leads to more productive and helpful interactions and support.
I asked my online Facebook community, and these were some of their responses.
Very interesting reading, and in my life experiences, these ‘subclinical psychopaths’ are far more common than is realised.
I believe many highly narcissistic people, also meet the criterion for psychopath/subclinical psychopath.
And I believe the insight of experts in the field, as opposed to your non expert general mental health professionals.