Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


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Don’t be a hypocrite, when it comes to child abuse…

It is highly hypocritical – to be someone who claims to be concerned about child abuse – if you smack/spank your own children, which is deliberately inflicting pain on a child, that does ‘not’ need inflicting.

Children can be raised to be well behaved, respectful, secure and happy, without physical punishment (abuse). Mine are.

It is proven by experts in child development, psychology and neuroscience, that spanking/smacking, negatively affects a child’s growing brain and lead to greater risk of mental health issues like depression and anxiety and physical health issues, like heart attacks and strokes, later in life.

But, abusive minds, are always hypocrites.

And justify their own needs to inflict pain on someone vulnerable.

Don’t be that.


I love keeping up with neuroscience. Empathy is uncommon, but needed.

http://www.forbes.com/sites/ashoka/2013/05/08/the-neuroscience-at-the-heart-of-learning-and-leading/

“The inescapable conclusion: it pays to care, widely and deeply.”

In short, when we work with human nature, and we take care of basic emotional needs, people perform better. Thus it’s a “no brainer” that we learn more about the brain and how to use this cutting edge science to inform the way we lead and live.

The article is worth reading.


Are many right wing, conservative Christians, just lacking IQ/EQ, or have Dark Triad Traits? Yes.

Makes perfect sense to me.

Of course they will all deny it.

I’ve seen it in action. The church I used to attend at North Pine Baptist Church, fit this perfectly.

Some being the lower IQ.

Some being the Dark Triad traits.

Neuroscience – is science and proving a lot now.

No empathy, no remorse, able to abuse and not care. Keeping the ‘flock’ at stage 3, like sheep. Using the Bible to control and manipulate people. The capacity to hurt others, and have no conscience about it.

Christians are no different to non Christians when it comes to these traits, or lower IQ/EQ – they just use God and Bible to justify it.

http://www.academia.edu/1610757/A_Lot_More_Bad_News_for_Conservatives_and_a_Little_Bit_of_Bad_News_for_Liberals_Moral_Judgments_and_the_Dark_Triad_Personality_Traits_A_Follow-up_Study

http://www.livescience.com/18132-intelligence-social-conservatism-racism.html Continue reading


Science proves psychopaths cannot be ‘cured’.

I have endured severe prolonged abuse in captivity from a psychopath and I know from experience and now from neuroscience – they are highly dangerous and cannot be cured.

So why the hell are they wasting so much money on trying to rehabilitate them? Like Daniel Morcombe’s killer – who was a paedophile psychopath. Four ‘sex offender rehabilitation programs at a massive cost – all a complete waste of money, time and effort and a child died.

Violent psychopaths – need locking up – for the rest of their natural lives – to protect society and children. They destroy lives and they should not be given further chances to harm.

http://www.biosciencetechnology.com/articles/2013/08/new-findings-spur-debate-are-some-psychopaths-curable#.UzAEUo8VsZN.twitter

A new study finds psychopaths do not lack empathy. They just possess the ability to turn it on and off—perhaps making some curable.

Critics say psychopaths only lack a certain form of empathy. Their ability to understand it is part of what makes them so dangerous.

“The findings are fascinating,” says Martha Stout, author of The Sociopath Next Door. The UK and Germany apparently agree, recently making a book by the new study’s author a Der Spiegel bestseller.

Psychopaths can be alternately charming and brutal. There is something real in both their “faces.”

For the new Brain study, psychopathic criminals, lying in MRI’s, watched videos of a person being hurt by someone else. Only when asked to imagine the receiver’s pain did appropriate areas in psychopaths’ brains—involving pain response—ignite in a way mirroring controls’. Continue reading


Proof that children can thrive & learn respect & healthy behaviour WITHOUT physical discipline.

spanking-is-never-ok

As a women who was abused by her parents and family – I am very aware of the affect that parenting can have on a child.

Having PTSD, means parenting is harder, as children’s noise and busyness and constant attention needs, are huge stressors to the PTSD mind.

I worry a lot about this. I get really upset sometimes worrying that I am not a good enough mother.

I do NOT agree with physical discipline to children and I believe it to be CHILD ABUSE, including spanking and neuroscience is now showing that spanking affects a child’s growing brain development.

I definitely believe that hitting a child/teenager with a belt, paddle, slipper etc is CHILD ABUSE and this has been confirmed by a highly regarded Christian doctor/counsellor.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-me-in-we/201202/how-spanking-harms-the-brain

My 2 boys have both had their school reports within the last few weeks and they are really good – with the behaviour and effort part and comments about them, being really good.

I don’t focus on just the achievement, because whilst that is relatively important, it is the effort and behaviour that is about their heart and soul. I would rather see a C for achievement and an A or B for effort – which means they have tried hard. Than see a C for achievement and a C for effort. Which means they could have tried harder and got a B or A for achievement.

Both my boys got nearly all B’s and a few A’s for effort and behaviour and mostly C’s and B’s for achievement, with a few A’s. So they are obviously functioning and thriving in school. Continue reading


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Severe trauma, on a brain neuroscience proves, is growing until 20’s.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2011/09/110922134617.htm

I had abuse, prolonged continual severe abuse – mental, psychological, emotional, physical, sexual, neglect, from birth, all the way through until I was 20.

Neuroscience, is proving the human brain continues developing, until well into our 20’s.

So, the abuse I had as a child, from birth from my sociopathic mother and step father, the prolonged abuse I had from the paedophile, and the prolonged abuse I had in captivity from the psychopath, all affected my growing brain and the way I deal with my emotions, pain, suffering and now caused the severe complex PTSD.

When I consider this, it would not be normal, if I didn’t have severe issues with trust, abandonment fear, fear of getting hurt, maladaptive coping methods, anxiety, depression, and a general fear and distrust of human beings.

My poor brain and my body, heart and soul, has endured so much trauma.


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Feeling emotions deeply & empathy = greater brain development.

brain

People who don’t feel emotions deeply and don’t have empathy and don’t have self insight, will often say that those who do – are weak, lack strength and are stupid.

This is because, those who don’t have these, can’t understand them and their ego will assume it means the other empathic, emotional, insightful person, is wrong, weaker.

I read that people with empathy, who feel emotions deeply have that area of the brain more developed and this is being proven with neuroscience. There is also more blood flow and brain activity in that area, so this means more development is occurring too.

Whereas, those who lack empathy, don’t feel emotions deeply, don’t have compassion for others, actually have less brain development and less blood flow and less activity, and that area of the brain, continues to die and shrink.

If not exercised, the brain dies quicker. Continue reading


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So neuroscience is proving that sex addiction, is an excuse after all.

Neuroscience fascinates me and there is a lot of work going on to explore the brain and why we behave the way we do.

I personally believe ‘sexual addiction’ is actually more about being a personality disorder, or other disorder. And that view is backed by many experts in the field of mental health.

There can be many reasons for this. I was sexually abused as a child, over-sexualized young by that, watching porn at 10 within this abuse, and sexualised by my sociopath step father, who had a circle of sex offender, sociopath/psychopath, paedophile friends, all enabled by my mother.

During my 20’s, I sought sex with many men, as a learned behaviour, a coping method, a search for validation, self harm.

I know the reasons, the psychology of why, I know it is child sex abuse related. I know it is a common reality, after ongoing child sexual abuse.

But, I was not ‘addicted’. I controlled myself and yes, I made the choices. I am not going to justify and excuse, or minimize my capacity to control what I did, despite the reasons. I own my behaviours, which takes courage and inner security and self insight and honesty.

And you know what they say – you can’t heal, what you don’t acknowledge.

Many expert psychologists, and neuroscientists are now saying ‘sex addiction’ – is an excuse. Continue reading