Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

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People seem so shocked when paedophiles/child sex offenders – seem so ‘normal’ & ‘nice’. I’m not.

Ben McCormack and news of his child sex offender crimes, are all over the internet. And how these crimes have been going on for at least 2 years.

What strikes me as so dangerous – is how many people are shocked, because he seems so ‘normal’ and so ‘nice’ – to so many people. People are reporting how shocked they are that this man is not the image he projected.


I’m aware that because I grew in a home that encouraged and orchestrated child sexual abuse, I know these people exist. And I know how manipulative and skilled they are – at hiding who they really are. They do often appear very normal. And very nice. But, they are not normal. Or nice. They are like sociopaths – who know what they are doing is wrong, and they plan their abuse and do it over long periods of time. And they have no remorse, no empathy, no conscience.

Apparently this heinous human being is now in hospital after being exposed for who he really is. Tough. He wasn’t thinking about the harm his planned and intentional abuse crimes were having on the victims.

Often these predators can feign remorse when caught out. But, believe me – this is simply an act because they have been caught. They fake remorse, fake being ‘cured’ to get lenient jail time. They will even act like the victim, if needed. And so many people fall for it. Including mental health professionals and those involved in the prison/legal system. I’m sure many paedophiles who repeat offended after jail time…….. lied and said they would never do it again. But, they do.

I’m glad this vile person has been caught and exposed. I have no sympathy for people who intentionally cause harm – especially when the harm is children and even more so – when it is child sexual abuse. Continue reading


Ben McCormack – Arrested For Child Pornography Crimes, And No-one Cares About The Children Being Abused

Ben McCormack – a reporter on A Current Affair – here in Australia, has been charged with child pornography crimes, including distributing child pornography and conversations involving child sexual abuse.

See this link for details http://www.msn.com/en-au/news/australia/a-current-affair-reporter-ben-mccormack-charged-with-sending-child-pornography-material/ar-BBzsUvV?li=AAgfYrC&ocid=U206DHP

Social media is rife with this news. People are talking about what scumbag he is. People are laughing at the hypocrisy of him being someone who chases people down the road about lesser crimes reported by A Current Affair (ACA). People are scorning the ACA program, and the main host of the program. People are suggesting maybe people should wait and hear the facts before commenting. Some are even suggesting maybe he was accessing child pornography for a case he is working on for ACA. And meanwhile, the reports being made, are making it very clear that these charges are not in any way linked to ACA or Channel 9, who broadcast the show.

And amongst the hundreds of comments I have scrolled through via the social media reporting, something struck me as really wrong. And a true representation of where society is, in relation to caring about children….

Not one single comment mentioned any concern for the children being sexually abused in this case.

Not one.

No-one cares about the children involved in this child pornography case. No-one bothers to sit and think ‘oh my God, those poor children’. That was my first thought.

It’s always ‘all about the adults’. It’s always ‘all about’ the paedophile/child sex offender, and not the children they harm. Plenty of people will comment about their opinions on child sex offenders. Some people even go as far as to say that child pornography is better than actually physically sexually abusing a child. Some people will defend the offender. Yet, few ever stop and think about the children. Continue reading


Stop ‘Normalising’ Paedophilia – It Makes You As Sick & Heinous As They Are ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

If I read one more article written by so called mental health professionals calling paedophilia a ‘sexual orientation – no different to being gay’…….. I think I will scream.

The LGBTIQ community should be very pissed off at having their sexual orientation compared to child sex offenders and paedophiles vile ‘needs’.

There is a HUGE difference.

The LGBTIQ community are participating in consensual sex between grown ADULTS.

Paedophiles and child sex offenders – are abusing CHILDREN and BABIES. Which is sick and heinous. And not at all normal, in any way.

And it is NOT consensual, or remotely okay.


Paedophilia is evil.

It is evil at work.

It is evil in action.

Stop ‘normalising’ evil.

It makes you as

heinous as they are.

And I don’t care who disagrees with me.

Normalising sick and heinous behaviours – is also sick and heinous.

And I will call anyone out on this,……….because it is never okay to normalise abuse and sick heinous thoughts, needs or behaviours – that cause the victims so much harm.

Calling paedophilia a sexual orientation is deplorable.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

Continue reading


Narcissists, Sociopaths, Psychopaths, Paedophiles & Abusers, Are NOT Welcome Here

Does this look like a blog, where toxic and abusive people are welcome?

I’ve been abused by all of these types of people.

Horrendously abused to the point where if it weren’t for my children, I would end my life.

I don’t want to live anymore.

Suicide is the first thing I think of when I wake up. I think about it throughout the day. I think about it at night.

All these abusive types are not welcome. Or people who make excuses for them.

They have nothing to say I am remotely interested in hearing. I’ve been hearing their evil BS all my life.

They can take their lying, manipulative, evil, abusive, toxic, baiting, trolling shit somewhere else and FUCK OFF my blog.



No ‘mother’, ever wants her child to be sexually abused

I just read a horrific story, of a woman who pimped out her mentally disabled daughters to be sexually abused, for money to buy drugs and feed her drug habit.

I don’t care what the reason, any mother who allows her children to be sexually abused, is sick and a monster. And they deserve to be locked up and never let out.

There are woman, who choose to want their children sexually abused, for no other reason, than they want them abused. I know this, because I am one of them.

I think if my mother had a drug habit, I could understand a little more. Although this is still never an excuse.

But, when there is no known reason, other than a choice and desire to want and know their daughter is being abused …..in this most abhorrent way  ….. it hurts. Really hurts.

These women who allow their children to be sexually abused…….. are child sex offenders themselves.

They are as guilty, as the men who are allowed to sexually abuse the child.

I know this is a part of my trauma history, I will never recover from.

I don’t even talk about how this makes me feel in counselling. Because I know I am expected to have some level of compassion for my mother. I’m expected to rationalise why she did it. Pretend she was possibly abused herself. Find some reason why she did it, to make me feel better. And then make my counsellor feel better.

There are no reasons, that make me feel better.

There are no excuses.

And I’m not going to make them up, just to appease others, who wish to make excuses Continue reading


An example of severe spiritual abuse – to a child rape survivor.

This is the type of toxic beliefs, church people can have.

This is evil, at work.

God does NOT want children to be abused and raped. He does NOT want survivors to be thankful for it. That would make God an evil, child sex offender.

If that is what any church person believes God is……. then they are actually worshipping Satan. And Satan can disguise himself as Jesus. For those who are inclined towards evil…. Satan can get his hooks in. But, the responsibility for allowing evil to lead them, is still with the person….because we all have free will.

It is my belief, many churches, are in fact not led by Jesus, at all. But, by the opposite.

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The Catholic Church Secret Archive Of Paedophile Crime.


This paragraph says it all about the highly inappropriate, and highly ineffective manner in which child sexual abuse – by paedophile priests, is dealt with. It shows how their in-house handling and in-house ‘counselling’, is pathetic.

Discussing responses to complaints about Ridsdale, the bishop describes the paedophile as “an extraordinarily talented fellow” and “an excellent pastor”. Bishop Mulkearns argues he was not responsible for Ridsdale going on to abuse more children because he had referred Ridsdale to a counsellor who then authorised him to return to duties.

This isn’t confined to the Catholic Church., either. It occurs across all denominations, as the Royal Commission, has exposed. Continue reading


21 days in prison, for paedophilia & beastiality.

The judicial system, is disgusting. It is outrageous that this paedophile and the paedophile mother, both only received 21 days in prison.

It disgusts me that this is the society I live in, where children are harmed in the worst ways possible, by their own sick, vile parents…. and that is the consequences. 21 days in prison. That is not going to do anything to stop this woman’s sick needs and behaviour, or the other paedophile. It’s a slap on the wrist and back out, to harm more children. How is this going to protect society and out most vulnerable citizens, from being harmed in this most heinous way? It isn’t.

Fucking disgusting.

My husband is a police officer, and as a result I not only know the vile heinous pain and suffering these ‘people’ cause………. but also how many of them are around. And it is far more than is realised.

It also hit me like a brick…. that this woman is termed a paedophile, for allowing her child to be sexually abused by someone else. Plus other paedophile offences. So, technically my mother is a paedophile, because she knew I was being abused by a paedophile and sent me round to him. Frequently. And was angry when I told her what was happening to myself and my sister. I’d kind of got my head around her being a female child sex offender, but paedophile, feels even worse. No doubt this is what my step father was as well. Continue reading

Pell and the minimizing wording used.

People minimize all the time. This is something I see everywhere. It’s how many people who lack courage – choose to view their own harmful behaviours.

But, it occurs all the more, with abusers. Particularly child sex abusers, child rapists, paedophiles and personality disordered people such as psychopaths, sociopaths, narcissists.

“He should have been shaking with grief on behalf of the children destroyed by the powerful men of his church.

Instead Pell called nests of paedophiles a ‘disastrous coincidence’ and described child rape as ‘misbehaving’. It’s just not good enough.”


This level of minimizing and invalidation, removing personal responsibility, lack of empathy, lack of remorse, lack of guilt/shame, no conscience…… are all the types of pathological behaviours of toxic and dangerous people. And paedophiles in particular are very skilled at this.

I get really angry at minimizing. And I’ve noticed just how common this is with church people. They are often very skilled at minimizing.

Child rape is not ‘misbehaving’.

Paedophile rings are not

‘a disastrous coincidence’.

There is absolutely no empathy, no compassion, or concern shown for all the children and their families, affected in such horrific ways by this man and his group of paedophile friends/colleagues.

This cool, detached way he has shown, is typical of that psychopathic capacity to detach from any emotions. And I absolutely believe Pell to be a psychopath, who is allegedly also a paedophile. Continue reading