Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


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I’m Glad To Have Finally Decided To Create An Ebook – I Can Promote Via All My Platforms ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

I have deliberated over how to publish my book and I’ve settled on an PDF ebook, I can promote via all my social media, this Blog and my Website.

ebook

I considered doing it via Amazon, and I see the advantages of it being promoted on a big audience, but I also see the drawbacks other authors have encountered, of dealing with reviews, dealing with trolls leaving bad reviews, when they haven’t even read the book.

I haven’t got time to deal with that crap. I don’t have the time or the motivation, to deal with negative stuff. And I don’t need my book to become a ‘best seller’ – I just want it to reach the people who need it. I just want to know it made a difference for people. And I could always re-publish it again in the future.

My Website has a lot of traffic and I could pay to have the SEO etc increased.

This Blog – has a of traffic.

And that is all enough for me. I know the book will reach those who need it.

SOOOOO glad I have finally made this decision. Continue reading


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Dealing with my complex trauma issues & seeing progress ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

I wrote this post on my Lilly Hope Lucario page, following issues arising on Twitter again recently.

There are predatory people out there, preying on vulnerable people – looking to cash in.
Mental health is an industry, and while there are many amazing and genuine people helping others in a professional manner…
There are also non genuine, untrained, predatory people looking to take advantage of people’s weakenesses.
You see this happening with people with cancer – they get some charlatan – claiming they can be cured of cancer with some herbs and essential oils… and it is incorrect and dangerous advice.
The same happens in the trauma, PTSD and Complex PTSD field…. where there are untrained people claiming to be able to treat PTSD with ‘their own technique’, or claiming to be ‘life coaches’, and they are not adequately trained at all, to treat mental health issues.
In my time on social media, I have seen many sociopathic predators, trying to cash in on trauma survivors.
People claiming to have PTSD – who don’t.
People claiming to be able to cure PTSD – when they cannot.
My advice, is do not be fooled by these charlatans/ con artists.
I wouldn’t seek cancer treatment from someone other than an oncologist.
And I won’t seek treatment for PTSD from someone not trained extensively in mental health.

I realise I cannot save people from being conned. I can only offer my advice and it is up to people to choose what they do.

Because of my platforms for trauma survivors, I have been targeted many times by people who are con artists. I see it happening and it causes me stress and anxiety to know other people may be conned. I’m aware it triggers emotions from the past, where I was made to feel responsible for my siblings as a child and told I was responsible for my sibling being abused by a paedophile. (When in fact it was entirely my mother and step father’s responsible for us all being sexually abused).

One of my issues due to my horrendous childhood – is feeling overly responsible for helping people and saving them from being hurt. And I have to have continual self talk, that this is not my responsibility. Adults are responsible for themselves.

So, whilst it is my heart for people not to get conned, I cannot take on this as a personal responsibility. I can only write posts like these, and hope people take note.

It is one area of many in my journey, where I have to change my belief systems. I am not responsible for other vulnerable trauma survivors, and I cannot feel like I am failing people or I’m not stopping them getting hurt.

I can envision my therapist reminding me – I am not responsible for my siblings being abused, I should never have been made to feel responsible for their parenting. And I am not responsible now for other trauma survivor’s wellbeing. Continue reading


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Having my insight compared to Alice Miller, is a huge compliment ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

I received feedback, that my insight aligns with Alice Miller. Alice Miller is a psychologist (doctorate), who is famous for her work on child abuse and the fuller consequences of being raised by toxic parents.

To have my insight, compared to hers, is well…. wow!

I have one of her books – The Drama Of The Gifted Child – on my book recommendation list.

Alice Miller does have profound insight into psychological and emotional abuse caused by toxic parents who have disturbed characters.

This is especially relevant to me, my childhood and the consequences of it…

Alice Miller writes…………..

  • There was a mother who at the core was emotionally insecure, and who depended for her narcissistic equilibrium on the child behaving, or acting, in a particular way. This mother was able to hide her insecurity from the child and from everyone else behind a hard, authoritarian and even totalitarian facade.

  • This child had an amazing ability to perceive and respond intuitively, that is, unconsciously, to this need of the mother or of both parents, for him to take on the role that had unconsciously been assigned to him.

  • This role secured “love” for the child—that is, his parents’ exploitation. He could sense that he was needed, and this need, guaranteed him a measure of existential security.

This ability is then extended and perfected. Later, these children not only become mothers of their own mothers, but also take over the responsibility for their siblings and eventually develop a special sensitivity to unconscious signals manifesting the needs of others.

I realise this parentification abuse and my toxic childhood, is how I formed my empathic capacity. My intuition. My depth of thinking capacity. My capacity to see past the masks people wear – to the real issues, motivations and needs beyond the mask. And my deep fear driven need, to work people out. Because I learned this young, to survive.

Alice Miller, was herself a child abuse survivor. It is always those who have survived lived experience of horror and heinous abuse by their own parents – that understand it to a greater depth.

Alice Miller also wrote….

“I betrayed that little girl. Only in recent years, with the help of therapy, which enabled me to lift the veil on this repression bit by bit, could I allow myself to experience the pain and desperation, the powerlessness and justified fury of that abused child. Only then did the dimensions of this crime against the child I once was, become clear to me.”

Continue reading