Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


So thankful people feel less alone, due to my work ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

Some feedback on my Facebook page today….

Your words are like a breath of fresh air, Lilly.

I no longer feel alone in my recovery, I have yearned all my life for someone/anyone to understand.

So, when I came across your fb page I finally realised

I’m not alone and others do understand.

THANK YOU.

I am glad to know my work helps others feel less alone. To feel understood and have someone explain and express the things complex trauma survivors feel, helps with the capacity to cope and to heal. Continue reading


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Awww, a congratulations poster :)

Awww, someone posted a congratulations poster to me, due to my success at becoming a published writer, having articles of mine, published in a best selling authors new book.

So very thoughtful to send me this ❤

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Tears, due to a dedication to me.

Shahida Arabi – an amazing best selling author, invited me to write articles for her new book about healing from narcissistic abuse. I felt shocked, honoured and blessed. Since I first connected with Shahida, we have become support and friends and we encourage each other, in this often challenging journey, of helping others.

Shahida, has kindly sent me the pre-release review copy of this book. I’ve only just started reading it, and have read her dedication to me.

I am feeling very emotional. I sometimes still think ‘is this really me’. My life feels surreal, often.

After decades of being abused, scorned, lied about, told I am worthless, not good enough for anything except being used and abused…… the last few years, have been surreal.

All the support from many mental health professionals, my own counsellor, many survivors of complex trauma and this belief and support in me, from Shahida, feels unreal sometimes.

But, it is real. This is the my life now. Gone are the days of being put down, being treated like a doormat, being used.

I still remember the Bible verse my first counsellor told me4 years ago….

“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.” Matthew 7:6

Now, I stay away from ‘dogs’ and I am continually seeking healthy, genuine, kind people.

I am still getting my head around it all.

But, I am SO deeply Continue reading


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‘A special thank you’ dedication…. tears.

Shahida Arabi, is wonderful, intelligent, genuine survivor, who I am blessed to have connected with. Her first book, was notably important and I appreciated it greatly. I knew it would help many and so I added it to my book recommendation list on my Website and via my social media. That was over a year ago.

Since then, Shahida and I have been in regular contact and she invited me to write some posts to add to her new book. I was shocked, and so thankful! I sent some posts and Shahida confirmed they would be included in her new book. I have advertised, recommended this book, as I know this will help many more people.

We have discussed many matters regarding being advocates for abuse survivors and the ups and down of this journey, in trying to help others in a meaningful way. We have supported each other about issues that arise, caused by other people, and we can write to each about this, knowing we both have similar thinking and empathy. And this support, has been wonderful to both offer and receive. Continue reading


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“Seriously! Where has this woman been all my life”

Had some meaningful & amazing feedback about my work and my thoughts.

“Seriously! Where has this woman been all my life

“Refreshing to see validity of your own theologies”

“Thank YOU.

You are like a freshly squeezed glass of lemonade

on a hot summer day.

Many of us feel lonely in our examinations”

Responses like this, make me tearful. I know how vital empathy is. I know how desperately many of need and search for the right words, the right understanding. The deeper understanding of the depths and levels of issues created by complex trauma.

To know I am that voice, that empathy, that understanding for others, who have suffered so greatly, is an amazing place to be.

It is a place I don’t take for granted. It is a place I am so thankful for. Continue reading


Thankful to help survivors, at their lowest.

I was sent this poster, by a complex trauma survivor. Which I was really thankful to receive. maya angelo

But, it was the comment that followed, that reminds me, just how important and meaningful my work is.

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Continue reading


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Reaching out for help, when needed.

I’m very open about my journey. Good, bad ,or ugly. When it’s going badly and I’m feeling very low, I am upfront about this. Being honest is important to me. And I know how much honesty and being authentic matters, to complex trauma survivors. It matters, a lot.

I was suicidal yesterday. I am not coping with feeling overwhelmed by my own journey, my husbands issues that continually affect me, and feeling like I am failing as a mother, all at the same time. It’s too much. Too painful. It overwhelmed me and I could no longer cope.

Going to the hospital the first time, a few years back, was not a positive experience. And there was no follow up at all, despite being told there would be.

So yesterday, when I knew I had to do something to keep myself safe, I wasn’t keen to go to the hospital. But I had no other option.

reaching out for help

 

Yesterday, however, it turned out to be a positive experience. I did have to wait several hours, which is normal in the public health system. I saw 4 different people. One was not great, but the other three, were lovely.

The three nice ones, were very encouraging of me going to the hospital and how that was the best thing to do. And the psychiatrist I saw, was lovely. Very encouraging, very kind and showed compassion and used the right choice of words – that I wish every mental health professional would know to use. And he is arranging further services I can access, plus continue seeing my counsellor. (They did phone later that evening, as follow up).

I decided to post on Twitter today, what happened yesterday and how I went to the hospital. I wanted other survivors to know, that was the best choice to make, when suicidal. I wanted others to see it was a positive experience. I want people to see I needed to do that and to reach out for help.

The amount of support, kindness, understanding and compassion I have received throughout today on Twitter, has been amazing. I did not at all expect the amount of support I have received. I am truly so thankful.

It has been a real blessing. Support at the hospital and support via social media.

It makes a difference, especially to those of us, who don’t have family, and don’t have friends we can talk to about this painful stuff. Continue reading


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~~~ Why I do this ~~~ By Lilly Hope Lucario ~~~

I write because I must, as a survivor who can use what was meant for evil, for good.

I write because it is part of my healing and to share my journey, helps others.

I write because I know suffering over prolonged periods of time, I know being suicidal, I know deep invalidation, I know deep aloneness, I know betrayal, I know deep prolonged fear, I know having no-one in your life who cares, I know having no-one in your life who understands you, I know having no-one in your life you can trust, or rely on. And my heart breaks for others who know this too.

As someone who has endured all forms of abuse, to a severe level, I write and blog to help as many survivors as I can.

I write about complex trauma, child abuse, child sexual abuse, adult sexual abuse, rape, emotional, psychological, mental, verbal, physical, spiritual abuse. I have suffered all these.

Abuse from narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths, paedophiles, in a non religious environment and within churches. I’ve endured them all.

I write about Complex PTSD, PTSD, depression and ‘abuse/trauma induced’ mental health, because I have these.

I have a massive amount of ‘experience’ as an abuse victim and survivor.

Four decades of abuse. 10+ abusers. Abuse from birth.

I am real, honest, raw, have considerable research knowledge and also have considerable insight into all of this, and this has been recognised and validated by mental health professionals and….

Notably, by Pete Walker – a man with great insight into complex trauma – see http://www.pete-walker.com/ . Pete has given me permission to use his work and commended me on my work. Continue reading


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Yes, I sure will ban your arse…

I take my role of admin of my community peer support page seriously. I spent a year, trying to reason with rude, unreasonable, narcissistic, angry, nasty people… Then I listened to advice that said ‘why are you even bothering?’.

And it’s true. It’s not my job or responsibility, to fix every unhealthy person. I’ve taken waaaaaaaay too much of that, in the past.

And I do know, I now only endure, what I allow.

So, yes, if you are rude, nasty, inappropriate, unhealthy, mean, narcissistic, passive aggressive etc – then I will ban your arse off my page. I wont be rude to you, or get angry with you. But, I will not tolerate you.

No arguing. No reasoning. I do not have to explain myself. I’m not anyone’s counsellor, or life coach or emotional punch bag.

I’m not here for every unhealthy person, to attack, vomit their shit & darkness onto. And I do admin my page, for the health and well-being of every person there, as I see fit. I understand some may not appreciate, or like that, or agree with my choices, and that is okay….they can take themselves somewhere else, or maybe set up their own page.

I am person, who deserves respect and to be treated with dignity. And I will insist on that.


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What you need to do, to cope & get through the day, I support ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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If you need to stay in bed today and rest.

If you need to listen to music a lot today.

If you need to watch movies today & snuggle on the sofa.

If you want to clean the house.

If you want to read.

If you need to get out and have some fresh air.

If you want to catch up with friends.

If you want to be alone.

If you need to cry.

If you need to smile, laugh.

Whatever you need to do today…..you do it, with no guilt.

No-one else knows what ‘you’ need.

I support your needs to do what you need to do to cope through each day.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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