I often write posts on my Facebook Lilly Hope Lucario account and they are a significant part of my healing. So, I thought I would post them here, to maintain a record of them and share them further with others. Continue reading
I often write posts on my Facebook Lilly Hope Lucario account and they are a significant part of my healing. So, I thought I would post them here, to maintain a record of them and share them further with others. Continue reading →
Only those who have the capacity to really listen and hear…. gain wisdom.
This is why the human ego is a pesky critter. It gets in the way of growth, maturity and wisdom.
The human ego is a like a road block. Any many people stop growing emotionally in the childhood and teenage years. They don’t progress along the emotional development, maturity path.
Wisdom is only gained, through Continue reading →
When you are on the path of growth, wisdom/truth seeking and that inner journey, requiring courage…… it is inevitable that you will outgrow those who choose not to be on this path.
It is okay to know this is occurring, and see how little you have in common with people you were closer to, in the past.
Due to the changes in ourselves, when we are on this path of growth, the ones we are outgrowing, will often not be encouraging. They can feel resentful and not appreciate your different opinions, and different way of thinking.
But, we cannot let their insecurities and lack of willingness to grow, stunt our own growth journey. We cannot remain how they want us to remain, just to appease their needs. If they choose to remain where they are at and resent those who choose to grow, then that is their choice. And we do not need to feel guilty, or that it is wrong, about moving on.
I was discussing this the other day, with someone who’s relationship with another friend, had become unhealthy, due to the growing differences. There were passive aggressive issues occurring due to resentment from the friend, which is often how immature people deal with their resentment. The situation was not going to be resolved, so my friend decided there was a need to end the friendship. And sometimes, that is the choice we need to make. We do not need to feel obliged to remain in unhealthy relationships/friendships. And we do not need to walk on eggshells, to appease a fragile ego. Not when their choices, are unhealthy for our own life and journey. Continue reading →
Following my last blog post, I received great responses, including from mental health professionals. That post being about my capacity to no longer take other people’s issues, personally.
Mark is a mental health professional, who often shares my work
and responded positively.
I’ve worked really hard on this particular issue. Having being blamed and scapegoated in truly profoundly damaging ways, I used to always assume any issue, was my fault, and I let people walk all over me as result.
Now, I don’t. I recognise other people’s issues, are theirs. And I now have the capacity to not absorb, or internalise other people’s issues.
This shows great healing, growth and maturity, in this one area alone.
Sadly, the blog post was wrongly interpreted by one person, as being about detachment from society and people. And therefore deemed to be unrealistic. This issue itself, is not about me – the negativity and invalidation projected – is about that person and their incapacity to achieve what I now am able to. Continue reading →
I’d rather be gardening.
I am not someone who believes ‘everything happens for a reason’. I don’t believe abuse happens for any good reason, than to harm someone. I don’t justify, rationalise harmful situations and people. I don’t apply those distorted thinking beliefs.
But, I do believe when situations arise, it can be an opportunity to reflect and consider what growth has occurred and what may still need working on. This requires self insight and self honesty.
Two recent situations, regarding starting to attend a new church and dealing with a disordered/toxic person, have given me opportunities, to reflect on how I have dealt with these situations.
This was discussed in counselling today. And confirmed my growth in how I deal with emotional issues, unhealthy people, building new friendships/relationships, discernment, self control, staying away from people who create chaos, healthier boundaries etc…. are all considerably strengthened.
Plus, I have a calmness, and a level of resilience, combined with the capacity to not take on board, or allow other people’s issues, to affect me.
It is as though I am proceeding through situations in a way that allows me to view it unemotionally, but with discernment and a sense of calmness, I have never known.
It feels safe, to build friendships slowly and carefully. And I have no desire to Continue reading →
Great advice. I have learned – it is pointless trying to explain your thoughts, to anyone who is committed to not listening. Some people don’t want to learn and grow. Some people don’t want to challenge themselves, or their thoughts. Some people don’t want to hear a different view. Some people chose not to have a path of self insight/self honesty. For a variety of reasons.
So, leave them to it. Their life is their responsibility only. Have needed Continue reading →
Maturity, takes a path of self insight, personal growth and requires a real capacity for honesty. We cannot grow, or mature, until we are totally honest with ourselves.
I am blessed with a counsellor, who has stated my capacity for self honesty, is rare and a breath of fresh air. It made me realise, why I am different to many. Because self honesty and self insight, are not common.
It is simply my life and all I have experienced, the honesty I needed to survive all I have, that has created the person I am.
I spent a long time, searching for people who would fill the void where a loving, safe family, should have been. I don’t anymore. I realised no-one else can or should, fill that void. Continue reading →
People with self insight and a capacity for deeper thinking, are not common. So when I have conversations with someone who does have these, it is a blessing and very refreshing.
I have realised that some people who have been through childhood trauma and have hyper vigilance, but not narcissism, can sometimes become those insightful, deeper thinking, discerning people who choose to reflect, learn and grow.
Had coffee and a chat with a lovely friend today, who has been through childhood trauma and has a narcissistic mother, and it is always interesting talking with her. She is very much on the journey of self insight, growth and greater discernment. And it is refreshing, to talk with someone on this journey.
It is interesting how much we have in common, and how we have similar views about social media, society’s shallow belief about external success, how we pick up on people’s patterns, and don’t wish to be involved or enable poor behaviours in others, or Continue reading →