Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


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Why We Need To Keep Talking About Physical Abuse ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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I have never been someone to do what’s trendy or popular. I do what I know is needed.

Most abuse conversations now, are about emotional abuse and psychological abuse.

People wrongly go as far as saying they are worse than physical abuse. Yet, physical abuse nearly always occurs with emotional/psychological abuse together. So the victim is enduring several forms of abuse at the same time.

I don’t minimize or invalidate physical abuse.

It is terribly dangerous. Continue reading


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12 Life Impacting Symptoms – Complex PTSD Survivors Can Endure ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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Complex trauma is still a relatively new field of psychology. Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, results from enduring complex trauma.

Complex trauma is ongoing or repeated interpersonal trauma, where the victim is traumatised in captivity, and where there is no perceived way to escape. Ongoing child abuse, is captivity abuse, because the child cannot escape. Domestic violence, is another example. Enforced prostitution/sex trafficking is another.

Complex PTSD is a proposed disorder, which is different to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  Many of the issues and symptoms endured by complex trauma survivors, are outside of the list of symptoms within the (Uncomplicated) PTSD diagnostic criterion. Complex PTSD does acknowledge and validate these added symptoms.

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The impact of complex trauma, is very different to a one time or short lived trauma. The effect of repeated/ongoing trauma – caused by people – changes the brain, and also changes the survivor at a core level.  It changes the way survivors view the world, other people and themselves, in profound ways.

The following are some of the symptoms and impact, most felt by complex trauma survivors.


1. Deep Fear Of Trust

People who endure ongoing abuse, particularly from significant people in their lives, develop an intense, and understandable fear of trusting people. If the abuse was parents, or caregivers, this intensifies. Ongoing trauma, wires the brain for fear and distrust. It becomes the way the brain copes with any further potential abuse. Complex trauma survivors often find trusting people very difficult, and it takes little for any trust built, to be destroyed. The brain senses issues and this overwhelms the already severely traumatised brain. This fear of trust, is very impacting in a survivors life. Learning to trust, can be learned, with support and an understanding of trusting people slowly and carefully.

2. Terminal Aloneness

This is a phrase I used to describe to my counsellor, the terribly painful aloneness I have always felt as a complex trauma survivor. Survivors often feel so little connection and trust with people, they remain in a terrible state of aloneness, even when surrounded by people. I described it once, as having a glass wall between myself and other people. I can see them, but I cannot connect with them.

Another issue that increases this aloneness, is feeling different to other people. Feeling damaged, broken and feeling unable to be like other people, can haunt a survivor, increasing the loneliness.

3. Emotion Regulation Continue reading


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Videos Highlighting Many Of My Posters/Memes ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

https://www.facebook.com/pg/HealingFromComplexTraumaAndPTSDAndCPTSD/videos/

Check out the above link, which takes you to slideshows of posters/memes I have created, to help spread awareness, compassion and understanding. Continue reading


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Crying – listening to a neighbour whack her emotionally distraught young child ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

I look forward to the day they make hitting children illegal. Hitting your child is domestic violence. I am glad to see countries making it illegal – as France recently has.

One of my neighbours, was just whacking her child (again) – and I could hear the sound of the hits. Her already distraught child’s crying & sobbing – getting louder with every hit. He was literally screaming in the end.

I sat sobbing listening to it. I desperately wanted to go over there and take the child away from her. Give the child a huge hug and show him some much needed empathy and compassion.

I don’t care whether I am unpopular or not – I will say it – hitting your child is domestic violence.

I don’t care whether people want to label me ‘judgemental’. Yes – I am judging and discerning that hitting a child is not necessary for good parenting, and if you hurt your child by hitting them – then you are a child abuser.

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If that mother was being hit by her partner – she could phone the police and get him arrested for assault and domestic violence. Yet, doing that to her child is ‘legal’. If I phone the police about a child getting hit, they will probably do nothing.

It’s disgusting.

How any parent can say they love their child – and then hurt them to the point they are sobbing and screaming – is disgusting. That is NOT love.   Continue reading


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Received a copy of Shahida Arabi’s best selling book, that features some of my work :)

Shahia Arabi is the best selling author of books about recovering from toxic abuse caused by abusers – such as narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths.

Shahida kindly asked me if I wanted to contribute to her second book and also requested to add another article of mine. I am deeply thankful to Shahida to include the articles and links to my sites and social media. (My articles are on pages 193-197).

I am also so touched of her dedication at the beginning of the book. It has been and continues to be an honour to support Shahida and others, in their journeys to healing and in reaching out to others.

This is Shahida’s best selling book –

which I have recommended on my Website.

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This is the lovely dedication

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I consider Shahida a friend, even though we have not met. I love her compassion, her drive and her desire to reach out, help and educate others, and give survivors of toxic abuse – the hope needed through the healing journey.

I highly recommend this book – it has everything in it anyone could want to know – including a lot of advice about healing. Continue reading


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October is #DomesticViolenceAwarenessMonth

I support raising awareness, education and support regarding domestic violence, which can be many kinds of abuse – emotional, psychological, verbal, physical, sexual, spiritual, financial abuse etc.

Domestic violence, affects women, men and most of all children. Children within homes where domestic violence is occurring – suffer deeply and it impacts their growing brain and psyche. Children sadly live with continual daily fear, anxiety and being unsafe, as their normal, within these dysfunctional abusive homes.

People are killed/murdered within domestic violence – so physical abuse needs to be considered a huge issue, as it leads to loss of life.

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Education is empowerment.

Education is the only way to change.

#NoExcuseForAbuse Continue reading