Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


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Poem – Smile, Be Positive… Like They All Say ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

Smile, Be Positive… Like They All Say

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

pretending-what-is-not-TMF

Just smile, it’s what everyone wants to see

Just act strong, like you’re expected to be

You can’t be negative, that’s not allowed

Got to be positive, hopeful and proud

After all, hope is your middle name

Anything else, is weakness and shame

But I have no hope left, I’m now too ill

46 years of abuse, my soul it did kill

My body it’s broken… old and weary

It wants to die, be at rest, be free

But, I have to keep going, every day

Put on that smile, like they all say

Forty six years of trauma and abuse

Not one of them had a valid excuse

Doesn’t matter, still have to be positive

Even if you have nothing left to give Continue reading


5 Comments

Poem – Alone, But It’s Okay ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

alone10

 Poem – Alone, But It’s Okay 

by Lilly Hope Lucario

.

I’ve been alone

Since I ever remember

No-one to care

No-one to trust

No-one to rely on

.

Alone as a child

Alone as an adult

Alone in a crowd

Alone in a marriage

Always alone

.

It’s meant to be

And I am used to it

It’s not new

It’s my normal Continue reading


Increasingly interested in Beat Poetry.

http://www.rooknet.net/beatpage/writers/ferlinghetti.html

Seascape With Sun and Eagle   ( Top of Page )

Freer
than most birds
an eagle flies up
over San Francisco
freer than most places
soars high up
floats and glides high up
in the still
open spaces

flown from the mountains
floated down
far over ocean
where the sunset has begun
a mirror of itself

He sails high over
turning and turning
where seaplanes might turn
where warplanes might burn
Continue reading


2 Comments

Poem – My Hurt Little Me ~ by Lilly Hope Lucario

child

Poem – My Hurt Little Me

My hurt little me

Hiding deep within

Scared to come out

So scared of more harm

 

She has endured so much

My hurt little girl

Abandoned, unloved

Abused, never safe

 

Trusting no-one

Not even adult me

I scolded her often

Repeating the harm

  Continue reading


2 Comments

Poem – The Abusers Lies

I wrote this over a year ago, but so many people relate to it and I am so thankful to be able to validate other people’s experiences/abuse and let them know, I understand.

Narcissists and psychopaths are always pathological liars. They will destroy you with their lies, rather than ever acknowledge the truth of who they really are and the harm they have caused.

Never under-estimate the damage and pain, these people can cause.


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Poem – The Abuser’s Lies.

.

Truth
Your weakness
Shamefully denies
No courage
For honesty
Within
Your walls
Of lies
.
Scared
To reveal
Your real
Inner self
Scared
To show
Your lack
Of self
Worth
.
Keep twisting
Reality
To yourself
And all
But you and I
Know
What really
Occurred
.
You know
The damage
And pain
Your abuse
Incurred
The hurt
And betrayal
My soul
Is scarred Continue reading


3 Comments

Poem – No Relationship Safe Enough ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

Poem – No Relationships Safe Enough

~ By Lilly Hope Lucario

.

Vulnerable and fragile

Unsafe and scared

Residing in emotions

My inner child endures

.
No-one safe enough

So she stays withdrawn

Fearful of being hurt

All her wounds still raw

.
Everyone will hurt her

She knows not to trust

Any hint of danger

She runs and hides Continue reading


6 Comments

Poem – Inner Child’s Pain, Of Letting Go ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

My needy inner child

Desperately searches for

What she never had

Scared to her core

.

To face and know

You cannot be

What I need

For the child in me

.

‘Letting go’

Words I fear

You are in my heart

This pain severe

.

To let go

And lose these dreams

Of the search ending

Fragile, unheard screams

Continue reading


2 Comments

Poem – Hidden Tears, By Lilly Hope Lucario

 

Poem – Hidden Tears ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

Hiding pain
From her loved ones
Waiting to be alone
So the tears can fall

Sometimes silently
Slipping down
Her cheeks, wet
Her mind, frozen

Sometimes deep pain
Released, sobbing
Torment, pain
Intensely felt
Continue reading


Poem – I’m Sorry Mummy

I still feel emotional when I read this poem.
But I do know, there was nothing wrong with me.
My mother had darkness within her that gave in to evil.
There is a part of me that feels compassion, as I want no-one to be this way.
And a part of me deeply scarred by living in the ‘garden of evil’ as I did for the first 20 years of my life.

Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

imagesCO9QYBRD

This is about being the daughter of a narcissist mother.

Mummy
Why don’t
You love me?

I do everything you say
I care for my sisters all day
I do all your housework
I try to be, a good girl

Mummy
Why don’t
You hug me?

I love you
You know I do
You see my scared eyes
Searching for your affection

Mummy
Why do
You hate me?

View original post 83 more words


Poem – The Abuser’s Lies

Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

Truth
Your
Weakness
Shamefully
Denies
No courage
For honesty
Within
Your walls
Of lies

Scared
To reveal
Your real
Inner self
Scared
To show
Your lack
Of self
Worth

Keep twisting
Reality
To yourself
And all
But you and I
Know
What really
Occurred

You know
The damage
And pain
Your abuse
Incurred
The hurt
And betrayal
My soul
Is scarred

View original post 143 more words