Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

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Do abusers know what they do is wrong? Can they control their behaviours?

There is much debate about these two questions. For me there is no debate. I don’t self soothe with lies that make it easier to bear.

I know some survivors of abuse choose to believe their abuser ‘couldn’t help it’. That’s easier to deal with, than the truth of knowing an abuser intentionally abused them.

I know there are mental health professionals, who choose to believe abusers don’t know their actions are abuse. I am aware this is also self soothing – so it’s easier to provide therapy and be nice to them.

All of my abusers knew it was wrong, abuse and they all proved they could control their behaviours. So, the only answer left – was they intentionally, deliberately and knowingly abused me.


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Received a copy of Shahida Arabi’s best selling book, that features some of my work :)

Shahia Arabi is the best selling author of books about recovering from toxic abuse caused by abusers – such as narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths.

Shahida kindly asked me if I wanted to contribute to her second book and also requested to add another article of mine. I am deeply thankful to Shahida to include the articles and links to my sites and social media. (My articles are on pages 193-197).

I am also so touched of her dedication at the beginning of the book. It has been and continues to be an honour to support Shahida and others, in their journeys to healing and in reaching out to others.

This is Shahida’s best selling book –

which I have recommended on my Website.


This is the lovely dedication


I consider Shahida a friend, even though we have not met. I love her compassion, her drive and her desire to reach out, help and educate others, and give survivors of toxic abuse – the hope needed through the healing journey.

I highly recommend this book – it has everything in it anyone could want to know – including a lot of advice about healing. Continue reading

Why toxic people, leave nasty reviews on e.g. Amazon when the topic is about toxic people ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

Leaving a bad review on e.g. Amazon – for someone’s amazing work, where 99% of the reviews are 5 star…….

Is an act of pure malice.


And what is interesting – is these people who leave a 1 star nasty, vindictive review – are clearly being vindictive – and that is OBVIOUS to anyone with any intelligence.

Sadly, there are people who are have pathological envy and a narcissistic/ sociopathic /psychopathic need to try to destroy someone’s hard work.

And what’s worse – is they gain delight in doing so.

They truly are scum and I wish they did not exist.

I no longer feel the need to make excuses for this scum…….. they make their choices and they are intentional in their vindictiveness.

That is unforgiveable. And there are no excuses that justify it.

You cannot do good in this world – without attracting hate and malice from those who cannot bear to see good people – be good people and cannot bear to see their success.

Darkness….. hates the light and will always try to destroy the light.

Keep on being a light anyway. Shine for all to see, and ignore the darkness – for it deserves no attention.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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All rights reserved.

No part of any entry/blog, may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, screenshots, copying & pasting, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods.

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The rise and encouraging of narcissism in society – Donald Trump & Kanye West

It is my belief – like many experts – that narcissism is rising continually in society. I see so many examples of this. I see it in parenting, on TV (reality TV, programs like Mean Girls), I see it in politics and I see it in celebrities.

It’s everywhere.

And there are two clear examples showing the rise of narcissism, at it’s worst. Donald Trump and Kanye West. Both exude narcissism, entitlement, ego, lack of conscience/empathy etc…….. the list goes on.

I’ve seen talk about Trump being a psychopath, and I agree, he also exudes those traits too. I personally believe him to be a narcissistic psychopath. Some would say Malignant Narcissist.

Kanye West has been declared a narcissist, by psychologists – who have examined his social media, his outbursts on stage declaring someone has been wrongly awarded at a music awards. His beliefs about himself are incredulous. he truly sees himself as a God. Now, with his recent hospitalisation for extreme paranoia and depression, some are saying maybe he has Bipolar. I see the similarities, but clearly see West has enduring personality traits, that always mean he continually sees himself as superior, as the best, as Godlike, as needing special treatment and has absolutely no self insight. His upset at being ignored by Beyoncé and her husband when Kim K was robbed – shows the narcissistic injury. I don’t believe he only feels paranoia and delusions of grandeur when on a mania trip. I think he has delusions of grandeur all the time. And these recent issues, simply validate my beliefs more. A lot of narcissists, have paranoia issues. I’ve seen that occurring.

People will say ‘why label people’. Well, diagnoses are needed, so others can know what they are dealing with. Narcissism is an enduring and toxic personality issue, that rarely ever changes. As is psychopathy and sociopathy. They don’t respond to therapy…. despite what some therapists will claim.

I will continue to raise awareness, regardless of how that is received. I couldn’t care less anymore, as to what people think of me. I know the damage narcissism causes, and the victims of these people – are all I care about.

And no, I cannot diagnose anyone, but there are enough experts stating exactly what these men are, and I agree.

As for Trump, well the man disgusts me. He is far more dangerous than West. Both of them make my skin crawl, but Trump scares me. He is relentless in his need to win. Ruthless in his need to win. I’ve seen those psychopathic traits and they are very dangerous.

I see West as a child in a mans body. I find him quite pathetic and I pity him.

Trump, however, I believe to be a dangerous man. Continue reading

When Is ‘Stop Acting Like A Victim’ appropriate? ~ Lilly Hope Lucario


Excellent interview with Dr George Simon – about his expertise in dealing with manipulative people


From the interview…

“It is a waste of time seeking therapy with a ‘character disturbed’ person (e.g. sociopath/psychopath)…
And clinicians are the worst for wasting time assuming they will change their behaviour.”
~ Dr George Simon

Only when character disturbed people (e.g. sociopaths/ psychopaths/ narcissists) feel a healthy amount of shame, will they want to change.
Guilt, does not make them change.
Only shame, makes them want to change.
~ Dr George Simon


Living in an increasingly egocentric, greed and entitled society, means increasing numbers of disturbed characters. An example – Donald trump. ~ Dr George Simon




How toxic people often deal with the abuse they inflict ~ Lilly Hope Lucario


Sadly, these are also some of the attitudes of survivors of abuse too. They choose to minimize or invalidate their own trauma and other people’s trauma, to cope. And they then demand other people do the same. They can also make excuses for the abuser – to make it all feel better. Or they will demand that ‘forgiveness’ is necessary and shame other survivors, or demand ‘forgive and forget’ is the way to deal with it. They will also use phrases such as ‘let it go, move on’.

All unhealthy attitudes, that do not aid healing. So, I do advise people ignore such unhealthy attitudes. Continue reading