Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


I survived a psychopath, who killed a former victim.

There was talk about Donald Trump on Facebook. And whether he is a psychopath, or malignant narcissist etc. I definitely see those traits in him.

As always when psychopaths are spoken of, my PTSD mind jumps straight to the psychopath who kept me in captivity for several years, abused me horrifically and ended up in prison. I was a teenager.

He said many times, he killed a former girlfriend. And made it look like an accident and got away with it. I’ve seen a record of a criminal conviction, involving the death of a woman. He had guns and knives and often used them to terrify me. He loved going hunting and had a sick thirst for killing.

It hits me really hard sometimes.

I survived a psychopath, who had already killed one woman. A former victim. Wow. That is pretty huge.

And I had enough strength, to attend court, to testify against him.

I could have easily ended up dead. Just like the psychopaths former victim. But, Continue reading


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I heard “never admit you are wrong” from the psychopath many times.

During the 4 years, I was subjected to severe abuse daily from a psychopath, I learned a lot about how he thought. I needed to, to keep myself safe. I needed to learn his patterns, all his cues for violence, how to pacify him as best I could, all to try and keep as safe as I could and keep myself alive.

I subconsciously did this, it wasn’t a planned action. I’d already learned how to do this with skill, due to all the abuse in the previous 16 years of my life.

It is why I am skilled at picking up on cues, red flags and also can work people out.

One of his favourite sayings, outside of the abuse, was ‘never admit you are wrong, never back down, never let someone beat you’.

I know these are typical psychopath beliefs. They believe it is weakness, to admit you are wrong. To own mistakes, is weakness in their very twisted, very unhealthy, messed up minds.

And they lack any empathy, or conscience, or remorse – to care about the harm they inflict, so this increases their capacity to never admit wrongdoing.

It is also why they can lie so easily.

When I saw this, it reminded me immediately of the psychopath, because it is exactly what he would say. They believe life is likeΒ a game to win, or lose. Bizarre. They believe you are only ‘against’ them, because you are weak. This twitter tweet, is from man charged with 5 counts of suspicion of fraud, who is also a serial abuse/stalker. Which is also traits of the psychopath I was abused by.

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He thinks life is a game, to win or lose. He ‘scores’ his victories too. Stating things like Me – 10 – v – Her 0.

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Too many people, have touched my soul, with their dirty hands.


Is it a full moon? Seems like all the trolls are out to hunt and prey.

Dealing with trolls on social media is something I am so used to now.

They hunt….

They appear….

They vomit their darkness….

They spew their issues…

They defecate their abuse onto people….

They revel in their darkness…


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Society must stop enabling/excusing abusers, based on mental health.

Abuse is increasing, in all forms.

A huge % of abuse is based on these disorders and other mental health disorders.

Mental health disorders are increasing.

Society must stop allowing mental health to be used as an excuse for abusers, to abuse.

Society needs educating about personality disorders, what the signs are, and must recognise these disorders more and in particular how they mostly cannot be treated successfully.

Society MUST reduce abuse and not allow it to continue increasing.


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It’s horrible, to know people with psychopath traits, and not being able to say anything.

I know a lot about psychopaths, narcissists and sociopaths and all the traits people display with high levels of all the traits within these PD’s.

I have had it confirmed, validated and I know, I pick up easily on these traits because I have already endured so much abuse by people with these PD’s.

I know people, who have psychopath traits and this bothers me. Even before I researched all this psychology knowledge I now have, I had already been bothered by the ‘red flags’ I detected. But, there is not really anything I can do about it. If I tell the people connected to them, they will think I am crazy. But, not saying something, seems wrong too.

Watching the Baden-Clay murder trial and seeing so clearly how he had psychopath traits, it worries me that in saying nothing, I am doing the wrong thing.

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