Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


No ‘mother’, ever wants her child to be sexually abused

I just read a horrific story, of a woman who pimped out her mentally disabled daughters to be sexually abused, for money to buy drugs and feed her drug habit.

I don’t care what the reason, any mother who allows her children to be sexually abused, is sick and a monster. And they deserve to be locked up and never let out.

There are woman, who choose to want their children sexually abused, for no other reason, than they want them abused. I know this, because I am one of them.

I think if my mother had a drug habit, I could understand a little more. Although this is still never an excuse.

But, when there is no known reason, other than a choice and desire to want and know their daughter is being abused …..in this most abhorrent way  ….. it hurts. Really hurts.

These women who allow their children to be sexually abused…….. are child sex offenders themselves.

They are as guilty, as the men who are allowed to sexually abuse the child.

I know this is a part of my trauma history, I will never recover from.

I don’t even talk about how this makes me feel in counselling. Because I know I am expected to have some level of compassion for my mother. I’m expected to rationalise why she did it. Pretend she was possibly abused herself. Find some reason why she did it, to make me feel better. And then make my counsellor feel better.

There are no reasons, that make me feel better.

There are no excuses.

And I’m not going to make them up, just to appease others, who wish to make excuses Continue reading


21 days in prison, for paedophilia & beastiality.

The judicial system, is disgusting. It is outrageous that this paedophile and the paedophile mother, both only received 21 days in prison.

It disgusts me that this is the society I live in, where children are harmed in the worst ways possible, by their own sick, vile parents…. and that is the consequences. 21 days in prison. That is not going to do anything to stop this woman’s sick needs and behaviour, or the other paedophile. It’s a slap on the wrist and back out, to harm more children. How is this going to protect society and out most vulnerable citizens, from being harmed in this most heinous way? It isn’t.

Fucking disgusting.

My husband is a police officer, and as a result I not only know the vile heinous pain and suffering these ‘people’ cause………. but also how many of them are around. And it is far more than is realised.

It also hit me like a brick…. that this woman is termed a paedophile, for allowing her child to be sexually abused by someone else. Plus other paedophile offences. So, technically my mother is a paedophile, because she knew I was being abused by a paedophile and sent me round to him. Frequently. And was angry when I told her what was happening to myself and my sister. I’d kind of got my head around her being a female child sex offender, but paedophile, feels even worse. No doubt this is what my step father was as well. Continue reading

Tears for the Morcombe family.


Daniel’s killer has been refused the application to appeal against his murder conviction. This piece of scum has no remorse, no conscience, no guilt, no shame. That’s how he still trying to get out of prison. He really believes he has the right to freedom. The right to do as he wants and no doubt harm more children, kill more children.

I am so glad they have dismissed his application to appeal.

I only wish they had kept him in prison, prior to him killing  Daniel. They knew he was not rehabilitated and could not be. Despite all the sex offender rehab’s he went through. His own psychiatrist knew he would harm another child. But, they let him out anyway and Daniel and his family were forever devastated by this decision.

I saw Denise on the news, and I could see and feel the pain in her eyes, her voice, her face. She talked about the relief she had now, but I could still feel the pain she was in. I cried. No mother or family, should ever have to endure any of this. No child should ever have to endure what Daniel endured.

The legal system is pathetic with regard to sex offenders, paedophiles and the like. They have more rights than victims and far too much leniency shown them. Continue reading


Don’t insult my intelligence, about abusers.

I was at my ladies group this week and a local coffee place. At the next table to us, were a group of special needs adults and some carers. It was lovely seeing them and how they were being treated just like anyone else, and enjoying their drinks and food.

Some of the special needs adults, had behaviours that would not be considered normal. One kept making loud noises, one kept hugging the person he was next to, and some of the others were having non ordinary behaviours.

As I was watching them, I thought some of them are possibly intellectually impaired and just did not understand their behaviour were socially unacceptable and not ‘normal’. I realised these adults, could be capable of other behaviours they would not necessarily understand were wrong and possibly not understand the consequences of their behaviours.

Which also made me think about abusive people who do intentionally harm others, and they know exactly what they are doing. Like narcissists,      sociopaths,  psychopaths,  paedophiles,  sex offenders,  rapists etc.  Their ‘mental health/illness’ does NOT render them incapable of understanding whether their actions are wrong/harmful. They do know, they just don’t care. It’s why they are manipulative, sly, do things behind closed doors. It’s why they lie and deny. It’s absolutely intentional.

There is a big difference between someone who is genuinely incapable of knowing whether their actions are wrong, and someone who does know.

Someone who is intellectually impaired, and has development issues in many areas…. is very different to a manipulative, lying, devious, narcissist. Very different to a paedophile, or sex offender. Very different to a sociopath or psychopath.

And all of these highly abusive types of people are absolutely consciously choosing to hurt people, lie to people. They are not insane. They are 100% responsible and accountable for their intentional and deliberate actions that harm others.

Which is why it really pisses me off, when people say ‘oh they can’t help being a narcissist, or paedophile (etc) – it’s their mental illness’. Total bullshit.

And it pisses me off and insults my intelligence, to suggest they cannot help it.

It pisses me off when their abusive actions, are minimized and the victims invalidated as a result.

It pisses me off when people then demand victims see it  as ‘mental illness they cannot help’.

It is a huge insult to the victims of these highly abusive people.

It is huge insult to the victims, to deny these abusive people knew they were doing wrong. Continue reading


Convicted sex offender/paedophile legally allowed to keep surrogate baby.



Well, actually it is believable and a true indication of our sick and unhealthy society – that allows our most vulnerable citizens – children – to be so unsafe.

This is paedophile/sex offender rights – being more important the safety, wellbeing and rights of children.

This is perpetrator protecting/enabling – clearly on display.

This is neglect, abuse and shows how fucked up our society, legal systems are.

This ‘man’ and his wife, abandoned the twin due to downs syndrome. But, at least she is safer.

Paedophiles and repeat sex offenders cannot be rehabilitated – there is more evidence of that now, than any that says they can.

This little girl – legally allowed to remain in the care of a known, convicted sex offender/paedophile – who committed a ‘string of sexual offences (they are just the ones he was caught for) – will be unsafe every day of her life now, until she leaves home.

I hate this fucked up society in which I have to reside.

Cardinal Pell compares Church with trucking company at Royal Commission.

Pell compares church to trucking company

Cardinal Pell said it would not be appropriate for legal culpability to be “foisted” on church leaders.

He then cited a hypothetical example of a case involving a woman who was molested by a truck driver.

“It would not be appropriate, because it’s contrary to the policy, for the ownership, leadership of that company to be held responsible,” Cardinal Pell said.

“Similarly with the church and the head of any other organisation.”

This is all about money.

Firstly, the church wanted to just ignore it all, move the paedophile/sex offender/abuser priests around, keep the reputation of the church as a priority, blame the victims, treat the victims in highly abusive ways, keep it all quiet, not contact the police and use the Church’s Lawyers to be complete shameless bastards against the victims – as has previously been proven by the Royal Commission with Cardinal Pell guilty of this.

Now, they can’t keep it all quiet, they have no choice but admit what is occurring and now the concern is all about $$$$.

And don’t think this is just the Catholic Church, it isn’t. It happens in other denominations too.

I have already stated, there is an insidious evil running rampant through organised Christianity, where perpetrators of abuse are enabled, encouraged protected and raised up….and the victims are treated in highly abusive ways and traumatised over and over.

And this is not just sexual abuse and child sexual abuse.  This applies to all the physical, emotional, spiritual abuse to children and women in churches like physical discipline to children – which is abuse. Like all the domestic violence enabled and women told not to leave, divorce and they have to stay and put up with it. All the abuse to gay people.

I do not condone any of this. And more importantly, NEITHER DOES GOD. 


No, I don’t want paedophiles, rapists, sex offenders etc, to be beaten up, abused back.

I spend a lot of time analysing my thoughts. Because, I never want them to be irrational, unreasonable, or affected by my past severe trauma history.

I have strong views on society and Christianity doing so much harm by ‘perpetrator protecting’, as I clearly see it does. And I see clearly how this enables and encourages abuse to keep increasing. I don’t like this and I know it is wrong. And I see so many of the reasons why this occurs and none of it is wisdom.

Some people I disagree with about their views, will have the reasons why they believe I am wrong. But, I do not have an unreasonable view of how abusive people should be treated.

I read an article about paedophiles being beaten up in prison. My immediate reaction was to feel how wrong this is. The thought of any ‘human being’, being beaten up physically like this, makes me sad. Now this would apply to anyone. Including about my own abusers.

I don’t believe in abusing people back, or repaying evil with evil. To me, that makes everyone as bad as each other. And I’ve never believed in this being okay. Continue reading

Society must stop enabling/excusing abusers, based on mental health.

Abuse is increasing, in all forms.

A huge % of abuse is based on these disorders and other mental health disorders.

Mental health disorders are increasing.

Society must stop allowing mental health to be used as an excuse for abusers, to abuse.

Society needs educating about personality disorders, what the signs are, and must recognise these disorders more and in particular how they mostly cannot be treated successfully.

Society MUST reduce abuse and not allow it to continue increasing.

‘I rest my case’ on how psychopaths & paedophiles, are drawn to being lawyers/judges.

It is so clear what this judge’s motivation are for this. This is not normal behaviour, of a normal man. They want society to ‘normalise’ this behaviour. Normalise abuse, child sexual abuse and most of society couldn’t care less. Unless of course, it is their child affected.


Following from this ^ link.

An Australian judge has incurred the wrath of child protection and gay rights advocates after stating that incest and pedophilia may no longer be considered taboo – just as gay relationships are now more accepted than they were in the 1950s and 60s.

District Court Judge Garry Neilson was recorded as saying that sexual contact between adults and children or siblings may no longer be regarded by society as “unnatural” or “taboo.”

Just as same-sex relationships were once considered socially unacceptable, “a jury might find nothing untoward in the advance of a brother towards his sister once she had sexually matured, had sexual relationships with other men and was now ‘available,’ not having [a] sexual partner,” he said, as quoted by Australia’s Fairfax Media.

Neilson said that the primary reason for incest still being a crime is the high risk of genetic abnormalities in any children born as a result of the relationships.

“But even that falls away to an extent [because] there is such ease of contraception and ready access to abortion,” he said.

He made the comments in April, in the case of a 58-year-old man charged with repeatedly raping his younger sister in 1981 in west Sydney.

The man pleaded guilty to sexually assaulting her when she was 10 or 11 years old in 1973 or 1974, but pleaded not guilty to the 1981 charges when she was 18 and he was 26.

The judge was also found to have given a 55-year-old rapist a lighter sentence because he did not ejaculate inside his young niece or “treat her roughly.” She was 15 and 16 when she was raped in 2007 and 2008. Continue reading


Man assaults paedophile who abused his 5 yr old, paedo gets legal aid, man loses home.


I hate society, I really do. I do not belong here. I do not see it through rose coloured glasses like many. The more I see and know and learn, the more I just can’t deal with all the evil I see.

In what decent healthy society, does this occur – a father – who assaults a paedophile – who has been sexually abusing his 5 yr old daughter, paedophile gets legal aid, and father of abused daughter loses his home to pay the paedophiles legal costs.

Un -fucking-believable.

How the hell is that justice? How the hell is that fair? How the hell is that allowed?

The father acted the way any normal father would.

I hate the legal systems which is so clearly set up to protect criminals more than victims of crime.

I hate that sex offenders, paedophiles, rapists etc, get more help and compassion, than their victims. Continue reading