Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


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Religiosity, spiritual abuse, cult-like abuse – can cause PTSD & Complex PTSD ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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It should also be noted – right wing, fundamentalist churches – are a perfect place for narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths to hide out and be welcomed. And this is why there will always be a number of them in every church where abuse is condoned.

These churches are more cult-like – than church-like and they specialise in oppressing victims of abuse and encouraging, protecting and worshipping abusers.

And this is across all denominations and is far more common within all denominations, than is generally known. But more common within right wing, fundamentalist, conservative churches.  It is not just the Catholic Church.

Any church where they encourage hitting children – is abusive.

Any church that suggests the victim was in some way to blame – is abusive.

Any church where they do not hold abusers fully accountable for their actions – is abusive.

Any church where they keep abusers in ministry – is abusive.

Any church where women are oppressed, not allowed to preach, not allowed to work etc – is abusive.

Any church where LGBTIQ people are not welcome – or told this is ‘sinful’ – is abusive. Continue reading


Shame, is only needed to felt by the abuser, not the victim ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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Shame gets a bad rap – especially from non insightful mental health professionals.

Shame is a needed emotion – that perpetrators of intentional abuse, do need to feel, in a health dose, that means they have the necessary remorse and willingness to change.

The reason most abusers never change…. is because they don’t feel shame, or remorse. Continue reading

When Is ‘Stop Acting Like A Victim’ appropriate? ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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Thankful to be able to understand spiritual abuse & help other survivors ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

I am not thankful for all the abuse I have endured in my life….. I don’t thank abusers for the harm they inflict. I don’t do all that shallow rationalising that I somehow ‘needed’ to be abused, to help others.

But, I am glad I am someone able to use all the trauma I have endured, to help others – through an understanding of lived experience.

Spiritual abuse is something I have endured. Grooming from a pastor, narcissistic abuse from him, his wife, the senior pastor and most of the flock, who sided with the abusers, as often happens.

Toxic churches handle abuse really badly. They re-traumatise the victims over and over. Too many toxic churches and toxic church people victim blame, victim shame, and protect the abusers. It goes on a lot in the more conservative, fundamentalist churches.

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I know the pain and suffering this causes.

I have such compassion for people who have endured spiritual abuse, which is also emotional and psychological abuse.

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Spiritual abuse is severe abuse and greatly impacts people’s lives. Continue reading


October is #DomesticViolenceAwarenessMonth

I support raising awareness, education and support regarding domestic violence, which can be many kinds of abuse – emotional, psychological, verbal, physical, sexual, spiritual, financial abuse etc.

Domestic violence, affects women, men and most of all children. Children within homes where domestic violence is occurring – suffer deeply and it impacts their growing brain and psyche. Children sadly live with continual daily fear, anxiety and being unsafe, as their normal, within these dysfunctional abusive homes.

People are killed/murdered within domestic violence – so physical abuse needs to be considered a huge issue, as it leads to loss of life.

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Education is empowerment.

Education is the only way to change.

#NoExcuseForAbuse Continue reading


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16 year old rape victim, told by Baptist Church – to apologise to the rapists wife.

Pastor Rapes Teen And Church Demands She Apologize to Her Rapist’s Wife

From the article…


An Ohio church has demanded that a 16-year-old rape victim apologize to her attacker’s wife, according to the Cleveland Plain Dealer.

Columbia Baptist Church, based out of North Olstead, has forbidden the family of an unnamed teenager from attending their services until she apologizes to the wife of youth pastor Brian Mitchell, 31, for being raped by her husband.

The girl said that she had come to the church looking for spiritual guidance, and that she looked up to Mitchell, whom she saw as a mentor. Mitchell started sending her increasingly frequent text messages, eventually complaining to her about his wife and their marital problems.

Mitchell then sexually abused her on at least two separate occasions.

“I did not give him permission,” the girl wrote in a letter which was read at Mitchell’s hearing. “I clearly said ‘no, I didn’t want to.’ I felt like he tricked me.”


It is not uncommon for victims of abuse by church people, to be treated appallingly. Especially by the more right wing, fundamentalist churches.

It is disgusting and abhorrent to treat a rape victim in this way.

To further abuse her by expecting her to apologise to the rapists wife…….. is abhorrent.

It is emotional and spiritual abuse.

And sadly, far too many churches, support victim blaming and shame shifting and choose to treat the victim badly and ostracise them, and protect the abuser.

I’m aware of how many child sexual abuse victims, are blamed for the sexual abuse, by suggesting the victim manipulated the ‘poor adult’ into abusing them. I’ve seen many times, the victim described as being the one who groomed the adult and then treated like they are the perpetrator and the rapist is treated like the victim. It is shame and blame shifting as it’s worst.

This is exactly what the head minister and son of the paedophile predator at the Hillsong Church, did to the victims of child sexual abuse. The victims were blamed for ‘enticing the adult’. Continue reading


Respect Is Earned, Not Demanded ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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There have been a lot of toxic and abusive people in my life.

They have all assumed and demanded I respect them, yet they have no right to demand that.

No-one has to respect someone who is abusive, toxic or harmful.

And also applies to family, partners, church people, work colleagues, other abuse survivors…. anyone.

Respect is earned and people do need to earn my respect and my trust now. I do no longer blindly respect or trust anyone. I now know, it needs to be built slowly, over time, when the person concerned demonstrates behaviours and attitudes, that are worthy of respect and trust.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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