I understand fully why people suppress their trauma. I did this for 20 years. It was too unsafe, I was too alone to deal with it.
So I did what society tells people to do – got over it, moved on, never looked back. Or at least tried my absolute best. Even my own husband did not know the details of my trauma for 10 years. Proof that I did not talk about it. I lived a highly functioning, capable life. I was suppressing all my trauma.
This for me, was the worst thing to do, but it was all I was capable of at that time, and that’s okay.
I realise for many, this is what they will do all their lives. And that’s okay too. Some can’t delve into their own trauma, their own minds and souls. And for some – to do that would kill them. It has nearly killed me, doing this.
So, I have complete compassion for anyone else doing this. It does feel a far safer place to be – suppressing and avoiding it all. Focussing on the good. Finding the positives, counting your blessings and just striving for as good a life as is possible.
I really do 100% understand this and if that is what someone needs to do all their life, I understand and I will not judge.
What I don’t like – is when people doing this – telling everyone else this is what they ‘should’ be doing. Judging others.
And I definitely don’t like it when some of these people then accuse others of ‘dwelling in their trauma’. or ‘acting the victim’, or suggesting the time span of this person being in a painful processing/grieving stage – is too long.
Some people suggest trauma survivors are ‘choosing’ to dwell. Continue reading