Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

Thankful to help survivors, at their lowest.

I was sent this poster, by a complex trauma survivor. Which I was really thankful to receive. maya angelo

But, it was the comment that followed, that reminds me, just how important and meaningful my work is.

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Reaching out for help, when needed.

I’m very open about my journey. Good, bad ,or ugly. When it’s going badly and I’m feeling very low, I am upfront about this. Being honest is important to me. And I know how much honesty and being authentic matters, to complex trauma survivors. It matters, a lot.

I was suicidal yesterday. I am not coping with feeling overwhelmed by my own journey, my husbands issues that continually affect me, and feeling like I am failing as a mother, all at the same time. It’s too much. Too painful. It overwhelmed me and I could no longer cope.

Going to the hospital the first time, a few years back, was not a positive experience. And there was no follow up at all, despite being told there would be.

So yesterday, when I knew I had to do something to keep myself safe, I wasn’t keen to go to the hospital. But I had no other option.

reaching out for help


Yesterday, however, it turned out to be a positive experience. I did have to wait several hours, which is normal in the public health system. I saw 4 different people. One was not great, but the other three, were lovely.

The three nice ones, were very encouraging of me going to the hospital and how that was the best thing to do. And the psychiatrist I saw, was lovely. Very encouraging, very kind and showed compassion and used the right choice of words – that I wish every mental health professional would know to use. And he is arranging further services I can access, plus continue seeing my counsellor. (They did phone later that evening, as follow up).

I decided to post on Twitter today, what happened yesterday and how I went to the hospital. I wanted other survivors to know, that was the best choice to make, when suicidal. I wanted others to see it was a positive experience. I want people to see I needed to do that and to reach out for help.

The amount of support, kindness, understanding and compassion I have received throughout today on Twitter, has been amazing. I did not at all expect the amount of support I have received. I am truly so thankful.

It has been a real blessing. Support at the hospital and support via social media.

It makes a difference, especially to those of us, who don’t have family, and don’t have friends we can talk to about this painful stuff. Continue reading

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Great feedback from professionals, always so appreciated :)

I appreciate all the feedback I receive. And when it comes from mental health professionals, it is helpful as I know I am on the right track and what I write, is meaningful and useful.

It also helps readers of my work, know they can be confident in my work, for it to be supported by professionals.

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Soni is an accredited counsellor and supervisor.

Her website is @ http://sonicox.com/

I am so thankful to all the professionals, who support my work and provide such great feedback.

More feedback on my Website @ http://www.healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.com/#!reviews-feedback/c1uq6

All the support I have from professionals, is a blessing.

I have a lot support from professionals in the psychology/trauma/PTSD field, which is amazing. I am so thankful and have much gratitude.

My website is popular, and has 100’s of views every day. Often in excess of 1000 views per day. Which is good, because it is helping many. And that is why I provide all this info – for others.

It is helpful for people to know the recommendations and support I have from professionals – doctors, psychologists, therapists, counsellors etc – and people know my info is quality info.

There is a lot of incorrect info and advice on the internet, so it is important to have good reviews, so people can be confident in the info I provide, collate.   Continue reading

Beautiful words, sent to me by a Twitter follower.


This was sent to me, with the words “I am grateful you are here for us”.

Posters like this one, really mean something to me.

Words like these, make me cry, because all these words, are who I am and someone has recognised that, and celebrates, appreciates and encourages all of who I am.


I guessed Robin Williams was abused as a child.

I guessed there would be abuse from Robin Williams’ childhood. There usually is, when someone is suffering through their life and has suicidal thoughts.

This is from Wikipedia, so not entirely sure of it’s accuracy, but as with many who suffer mental health disorders and suicidal thoughts, often this is due to childhood abuse.

Williams described himself as a quiet child whose first imitation was of his grandmother to his mother. He did not overcome his shyness until he became involved with his high school drama department.[17] Williams attended public elementary school at Gorton Elementary School (now Gorton Community Center) and middle school at Deer Path Junior High School (now Deer Path Middle School),[18] both in Lake Forest, Illinois. His young friends recall him as being very funny.[19] When Williams was in seventh grade in the fall of 1963,[18] his father was transferred to Detroit, so the family moved to a 40-room farm house in suburban Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, where he was a student at the private Detroit Country Day School.[20] He excelled in school and became president of the class. He was on the school’s soccer team and wrestling team.[21] In middle school, Williams was bullied and sought out new routes home to avoid his tormentors.[22] He told jokes to his mother to make her laugh and pay attention to him.[22] Williams spent much of his time alone in the family’s large home, playing with his 2,000 toy soldiers.[22]

Williams’s father was away much of the time and, when he was home, Williams found him “frightening”. His mother worked too, leaving Williams to be attended to by the maids they employed. Williams claimed his upbringing left him with an acute fear of abandonment and a condition he described as “Love Me Syndrome.” Continue reading

Nice to have Christians acknowledge my work. Not that I think I am a ‘world changer’.

I checked before replying to this tweet, that this wasn’t something this Christian Twitter account say to everyone. And they don’t. They also have many more followers than I do, so they are not looking for followers from my account, to boost theirs.

You can’t trust anyone you tweet with on twitter 😉

I am thankful, they seem genuine and are inspired by my work. I have humility to know, I am not a world changer, but I am happy to create a few ripples.

I’m always shocked when Christians support me. I guess it seems weird after all the abuse from so many claiming to be Christians, over the last few years.

I’m aware, all the ones I have been abused by, are not representative of every Christian. But, I know enough about all the abuse that occurs in churches, to be very wary.

But, I am willing to take kind words from those I don’t know and be willing to accept them as genuine.

Society and religious attitudes, all increasing shame about mental health issues.

We live in a society that demands we be positive all the time. And if we are not, we are failures.

Society demands ‘you must be strong every day!’ or again, you are a failure.

In these demands, I am a failure. I have survived horrific abuse, over decades, but I am still a failure in society’s terms.

This means, those with depression, PTSD etc, are shamed into silence, or hiding their mental health, leading to less people reaching out for help.

There are so many barriers for people with any mental health issues, to reach out;

Stigma, which is abuse due to ignorance and lack of empathy.

Shame, because society demands everyone is a success, empowered and positive.

Religion, which abuses people further about mental health.

Unless all these issues are spoken about and dealt with, more and more people will want to end their lives, due to not seeking appropriate help and feeling shamed into more and more depression, isolation and despair.

This leads to more suicides and this is so tragic. Continue reading

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I always try to use horrible situations to help others. Today, compassion about suicide.

I always try to look at situations that are sad, tragic etc and think what I can do to help. I know I can only do my little bit, but I feel I do need to do that.

The tragic death of Robin Williams after his lifelong battle with depression, Bipolar, has highlighted again, the need for suicide awareness and compassion.

There are millions worldwide suffering with suicidal thoughts right now and I know that. It breaks my heart, because I know that pain.

So, to do something useful, I’ve put out a pile of info on Twitter and Facebook with this in mind. Stating compassion is needed. Info about suicide, how I get suicidal so I completely understand and have no judgment,and how I have empathy. Info about how to help people with depression, info about crisis lines etc. Continue reading

Helping others, to trust their therapists. More ways, I didn’t know I help.

I am aware, what I write helps people. Not everyone, and that’s okay. We are all different. But, I do know, I do help many.

Sometimes, people say things that make me really stop in my tracks and think ‘wow, I didn’t realise I was helping in that way.’

This was one such occasion, when someone wrote the following on a post on my community page. (name removed for privacy).

To help anyone trust what their therapist is saying, is so good. As trust is a major issue – I know all too well.

And this obviously clarifies, that what I wrote, is also what a professional therapist is also saying, advising and believes. And this is all processing I have done myself, due to my own self insight, not what have heard in my own counselling. I’m aware I can pretty much work it all out myself. I just need help figuring out how the hell I deal with all this deep insight and the hell to deal with all these people out there, who cause all this harm and abuse. Continue reading