Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


My Timespan Of Shutting Down Completely To Cope/Survive – Is Lessoning ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

As per my last post, I have been really struggling. Ongoing trauma issues in my life and a lack of support for that, can be really hard to deal with.

Childhood complex trauma survivors Рhave to unconsciously formulate coping strategies, that help them survive the ongoing abuse and trauma being endured. These ways of coping Рcontinue on into adulthood.

tired woman 3

One of my coping ways from childhood which still occurs now – is ‘Freeze’. Which is said by Pete Walker – to be the trauma typology of dissociating. And is the hardest to treat and heal – of the four types of trauma responses of Flight, Fight, Freeze, Fawn.

See here for more info https://www.healingfromcomplextraumaandptsd.com/about1

As per Pete Walker… The freeze response, also known as the camouflage response, often triggers the individual into hiding, isolating and eschewing human contact as much as possible. This type can be so frozen in retreat mode that it seems as if their starter button is stuck in the “off” position. It is usually the most profoundly abandoned child – “the lost child” – who is forced to “choose” and habituate to the freeze response (the most primitive of the 4Fs). Unable to successfully employ fight, flight or fawn responses, the freeze type’s defenses develop around classical dissociation, which allows him to disconnect from experiencing his abandonment pain, and protects him from risky social interactions – any of which might trigger feelings of being reabandoned.

I also have the trauma response of Fawn, which I have realised is something I display in my therapy relationship. Whenever threatened with any perceived threat of my counsellors withdrawal of support, or criticism of my efforts to deal with issues, or anything negative, I end up apologising – even when not appropriate/needed. It echoes my relationship with my mother…. I am hurt –¬†but rather than face abandonment – I will do and say whatever I think she wants. Continue reading

From OCD/Organised – to Procrastination & everything at the last minute..Why?

A post to my page…

Do you procrastinate, leave everything to last minute?

I do this a lot now. I never used. I used to be Miss Organised/OCD and had everything in my life hyper-organised and never left anything to the last minute.

It’s like I have now gone to the other extreme – everything gets put off, left until the last possible minute – often creating me more stress!

What’s up with that??!

Does anyone relate and anyone have any ideas why this has become a behaviour?

This interestingly, but not surprisingly lead to quite a few saying the same has happened to them. So definitely part of this journey for many.

I think it may be about the trauma responses changing from ‘Flight’ (OCD) – to ‘Freeze’ (dissociate/avoid).

A link to show the responses https://www.facebook.com/HealingFromComplexTraumaAndPTSDAndCPTSD/posts/696899403730150?comment_id=697030497050374&offset=0&total_comments=18&notif_t=feed_comment

Nightmare, I can’t remember, but symptoms and hives are there.

Had a nightmare last night, I know because I woke up feeling fear, anxiety and although I can’t remember what it was about, I know my symptoms well enough to know what’s happening.

I have hives all up my arms, and I am sat in my home, my safe place.

My subconscious mind, deep memory and my PTSD knows when something is wrong – even when I can’t consciously know what is happening.

Hard to explain to people, but I know what’s happening.

When I am feeling fear, stress, anxiety and have hives, that is not rational for my current situation – like sat in my home – I know it’s PTSD, memory, trauma related.

It happens quite a lot.

So, I’m just taking it easy, husband is watching a DVD with the kids and I am doing my usual trauma response of freeze/fawn – absorbing myself in music and my laptop, providing info and support to others, distracting myself from the emotions going on within me.

I understand trauma responses and PTSD, well.


Why not all PTSD sufferers, are angry. Not all are ‘Fight’ response = narcissistic.


There different trauma typology responses – produce very different behaviours in PTSD sufferers.

This is particularly true for those who had abuse in childhood.

I get annoyed when I see some PTSD sufferers talk about their anger being okay and implying ‘all’ PTSD sufferers have it. Call it their ‘outbursts’ etc – and justify it by blaming their PTSD.

This is not true at all.

Well, not all PTSD sufferers have ‘fight’ as their trauma typology response and those who do – still have a responsibility to manage it – not just feel entitled to it and blame their PTSD. And own the fact that their trauma response is not what all PTSD suffers experience at all and they need to own their anger and deal with it.

PTSD and Narcissism are linked and you can see this displayed so clearly in some – big ego’s, get angry, blame their PTSD and feel entitled to it. All narcissistic behaviours/thinking. Continue reading