Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.


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Jeff Brown – The Buddha Was The Master Of Dissociation

Thank God for people like Jeff Brown. His insight and capacity to discern the toxic and unhealthy thinking out there, mirrors mine and is rare.

I will also add Buddhism also perpetuates victim blaming and re-victimising trauma survivors.

It is nothing but toxic, irrational and unhealthy thinking.

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Healing Is About Transformation Of Self, Not Putting On A Persona Or Identity ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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Healing is about transformation of self.
That requires us to honesty look at ourselves, our thinking, our behaviours and see how trauma has affected us.
Healing is not about putting on some ‘strong warrior survivor’ identity or persona.
Healing is about getting really real with self, and what needs to change. And continually persisting in making the changes needed, to move towards a better life. With lots of self compassion and patience, along the way. Continue reading


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Why We Need To Keep Talking About Physical Abuse ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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I have never been someone to do what’s trendy or popular. I do what I know is needed.

Most abuse conversations now, are about emotional abuse and psychological abuse.

People wrongly go as far as saying they are worse than physical abuse. Yet, physical abuse nearly always occurs with emotional/psychological abuse together. So the victim is enduring several forms of abuse at the same time.

I don’t minimize or invalidate physical abuse.

It is terribly dangerous. Continue reading


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Validation of my intelligence is good …. but it doesn’t reduce the pain, or the aloneness.

The last couple of counselling sessions, have resulted in a lot of validation. It was stated I am far more able to clearly see my trauma history and understand toxic/unhealthy people and their motivations and issues, than at any point in my life. I am far more able to speak up about all I know, understand and express the depth of that understanding.

This has all been validated. Along with being told that I am a very intelligent woman, with a capacity to think things deeply and rationally. To a much deeper level than average. And what people cannot understand – they will reject. So rejection features a lot in my life. It’s always the default for people who don’t understand something, to reject it. Few people ‘get me’. That’s the reality I am enduring.

Also validated, was my understanding of victim shaming, victim blaming, shame shifting in all it’s many forms. Plus, why it happens, the motivations for it, and why it is so wrong. I understand people’s motivations are very often not at all what they delude themselves they are. Rarely do egocentric, selfish, narcissistic, unhealthy, irrational, character disturbed, or delusional people – ever admit their true motivations and issues. They reside within lives of delusions, fantasies, lies and irrational thinking. I understand that very clearly. And how much this occurs throughout humanity.

And I can now verbally express all this, far more easily and with considerable clarity. Which is about my healing/growth.

This includes the depth of my understanding of all the harmful people who have abused me throughout my life.  Including my husband. Who it was confirmed, is highly narcissistic, with sociopathic traits. And it was validated he comes from a highly dysfunctional, narcissistic family. It was helpful to have this validation. And that I was duped, manipulated and exploited. I was not in fact looking for an unhealthy or co-dependent relationship. I fell in love with a man who did not exist. I fell in love with a fantasy my husband (and his parents) believe about himself. Who lied from day one. And he continued on with his selfish, manipulative, deceitful and toxic ways, for 16 years. Stealing from me the right I had to find someone genuinely good/ healthy/ decent/ trustworthy, who would be a good husband and good father. Plus, the validation of how I know this man never loved me, never cared about me, and is in fact incapable of love, due to the depths of his fantasy/delusion about himself. And I’m glad my counsellor has done counselling with him, as that is further validation, based on her own therapy with him.

But, all this validation, does not take away my reality, that I am different to most people. Feeling different, is something I have always felt, and continue to feel. And it makes me feel so terribly alone. And that was validated as a very real situation I am in. It is not a ‘complex trauma irrational issue’. It is a very real issue, with very valid reasons why, which are not about anything wrong with me. But in fact, are due to deeper intelligence skills.

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The validation of all this, is good. It helps in knowing I am correct in my thinking. But, it doesn’t take the aloneness away. Just because I understand why I am so different to most people, doesn’t make me feel less alone. Or make it less painful. In fact, it makes it worse. Continue reading


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My Facebook Page Now Has Over 50,000 Members/Followers/Likers ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

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My Facebook community page has now over 50,000 likers/followers/community members.

Considering Complex PTSD is not widely known about, and many mental health professionals are not fully educated in Complex Trauma, or Complex PTSD….. I am thankful to be able to reach so many.

Complex PTSD is very different to PTSD. In terms of the trauma causing them and the symptoms endured. And many Complex Trauma survivors, have both.

Complex PTSD is considered by experts, to be far more life impacting and far harder to treat, heal, and understand. Continue reading


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Surviving the war of severe abuse & then the war of PTSD ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

Having severe PTSD & Complex PTSD, feels like a continual war, with your own mind.
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You live through a war – where danger is all around. Terrible things happen. It takes everything you’ve got to survive.
Then you are forced to live a war coping with heinous memories of severe abuse and horror – no-one should ever experience.
You re-live and re-experience it all, as flashbacks and nightmares.
And it sometimes feels too painful to bear.
It’s a continual battle.
A continual war.
A war you can never forget.
Because the PTSD brain won’t let you forget.

Continue reading


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Started trying daily yoga. Watching ‘Healing Yoga’ – with Deborah Devine.

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Healing Yoga: Yoga for Real People with Real Problems

I am aware of the benefits of yoga, for trauma/abuse survivors, and for people with PTSD, Complex PTSD. Many trauma experts encourage yoga as a way for trauma survivors to connect with their bodies – as our bodies hold trauma and are physiologically affected by all types of trauma.

http://www.traumacenter.org/research/yoga_study.php

I sporadically do yoga at home. I can’t afford to attend yoga classes, so doing it at home is what I have available to me. Motivation, is my issue and why I don’t do it regularly enough.

I found Healing Yoga with Deborah Devine on Foxtel watch anytime downloads, so I’ve decided to give it a go every day. I feel motivated by being able to follow these guided classes.

I ignore any spiritual/religious aspects of yoga, and simply focus on the health, wellbeing and healing purposes. Continue reading