Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

A journey to healing from complex trauma.

All Beliefs Need To Be Challenged, Starting With Our Own ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

Leave a comment

beige 1-025

Advertisements


Leave a comment

No, Not All Abusers Hate Themselves. Many Are In Fact Character Disturbed ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

DSC_2740-021

For information on Dr George Simon’s expertise in toxic people, see his Website @

https://www.drgeorgesimon.com/about/

It may feel easier to believe overgeneralisations, but that does not mean you are dealing with reality.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario


Leave a comment

People Understandably Cope In Different Ways – That Doesn’t Mean They Always Give Good Advice ~ Lilly Hope Lucario

helping someone with depression

People cope with trauma, abuse and child abuse – in many different ways.

~ Some drink and use alcohol to self medicate.
~ Some isolate themselves completely, to avoid any more harm.
~ Some work too hard, to keep their minds busy and off the trauma.
~ Some get really angry and stay angry.
~ Some blame themselves for the abuse.
~ Some suppress all the trauma and think they are strong warrior survivors.
~ Some think forgiveness is the ‘be all and end all’ to healing.

And there are many others too.

I totally understand and have compassion for anyone using these ways to cope.

I understand people are doing the best they can at this time.

But, where I have issues – is when people using these ways of coping – then tell everyone else they should be doing the same. When that is very unhealthy advice.

I see this occurring a lot.

The ways people cope, are very understandable – but often not healthy, or promoting healing.

There is a lot of bad advice out there, about what is required for healing.

And I see this all the time. Which saddens me, because people are believing it.

And there is a lot of shaming goes on too.

That’s not what I want for anyone.

In challenging the unhealthy advice given – I am showing compassion – because my motivation for doing all I do – is for people to heal and move towards better lives.

~ Lilly Hope Lucario

All blogs written by Lilly Hope Lucario and subject to © Copyright Protected.

All rights reserved.

No part of any entry/blog, may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, screenshots, copying & pasting, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods.

This includes adaptations in all forms of media.


5 Comments

A Zen Master Explains Why “Positive Thinking” Is Terrible Advice (Because It’s Dishonest & Irrational)

https://simplecapacity.com/2017/05/a-zen-master-explains-why-positive-thinking-is-terrible-advice/

I love it when spiritual people actually have a depth of thinking, that sees through the BS and ‘gets it’.


From the article…

“The philosophy of positive thinking means being untruthful; it means being dishonest. It means seeing a certain thing and yet denying what you have seen; it means deceiving yourself and others.”

“Positive thinking is the only bullshit philosophy that America has contributed to human thought – nothing else. Dale Carnegie, Napoleon Hill, and the Christian priest, Vincent Peale – all these people have filled the whole American mind with this absolutely absurd idea of a positive philosophy.

And it appeals particularly to mediocre minds…

The negative is as much part of life as the positive. They balance each other.”

“You ask me: Am I against positive philosophy? Yes, because I am also against negative philosophy.

I have to be against both because both choose only half the fact, and both try to ignore the other half. Continue reading


Leave a comment

Another Person Who Understands ‘No, Not Everything Happens For A Reason’.

The words in this article echo my insight and understanding of the harm platitudes and toxic attitudes about trauma, cause.

http://www.timjlawrence.com/blog/2015/10/19/everything-doesnt-happen-for-a-reason


From the article…

Everything happens for a reason. That this was something that had to happen in order for her to grow.

That’s the kind of bullshit that destroys lives. And it is categorically untrue.

It is amazing to me that so many of these myths persist—and that is why I share actionable tools and strategies to work with your pain in my free newsletter. These myths are nothing more than platitudes cloaked as sophistication, and they preclude us from doing the one and only thing we must do when our lives are turned upside down: grieve.

You know exactly what I’m talking about. You’ve heard these countless times. You’ve probably even uttered them a few times yourself. And every single one of them needs to be annihilated.

Let me be crystal clear: if you’ve faced a tragedy and someone tells you in any way, shape or form that your tragedy was meant to be, that it happened for a reason, that it will make you a better person, or that taking responsibility for it will fix it, you have every right to remove them from your life.

Grief is brutally painful. Grief does not only occur when someone dies. When relationships fall apart, you grieve. When opportunities are shattered, you grieve. When dreams die, you grieve. When illnesses wreck you, you grieve.

So I’m going to repeat a few words I’ve uttered countless times; words so powerful and honest they tear at the hubris of every jackass who participates in the debasing of the grieving:

Some things in life cannot be fixed. They can only be carried. 

These words come from my dear friend Megan Devine, one of the only writers in the field of loss and trauma I endorse. These words are so poignant because they aim right at the pathetic platitudes our culture has come to embody on an increasingly hopeless level. Losing a child cannot be fixed. Being diagnosed with a debilitating illness cannot be fixed. Facing the betrayal of your closest confidante cannot be fixed.

They can only be carried.

I hate to break it to you, but although devastation can lead to growth, it often doesn’t. The reality is that it often destroys lives. And the real calamity is that this happens precisely because we’ve replaced grieving with advice. With platitudes. With our absence.   Continue reading


6 Comments

So glad to see Jeff Brown understands Eckhart Tolle is harmful, not helpful.

I often feel like an alien on this planet. I see and understand things most people don’t.

I am always so glad to read Jeff Brown’s posts and comments.

Today I saw this comment from Jeff, in response to someone on his page commenting about Eckhart Tolle.

fullscreen-capture-24122016-80920-pm

Thank God for people like Jeff Brown. Thank God he also has the discernment to know fake and false ‘teachers’.

Jeff makes me feel like I am not an alien. I am not totally alone. There are souls out there, who see and understand human emotions and human behaviour – on a much deeper level. As I do. Continue reading